150 Best North Carolina Sayings and Jokes: You Might Just Be a Tar Heel If…

Ever wondered what “bless your heart” *really* means? North Carolina, with its rich history and charming quirks, has a language all its own. From playful jabs to heartwarming expressions, the local dialect is as unique as the state itself. Get ready to dive into the fun with some classic North Carolina sayings and jokes!

We’re about to uncover the humor and heart behind the phrases that make North Carolina so special. This isn’t just about words; it’s about the culture and the spirit they represent. So, pull up a chair, grab a sweet tea, and let’s get started!

Best North Carolina Sayings and Jokes: You Might Just Be a Tar Heel If…

• Bless your heart, you’re slower than a tobacco worm in January.
• Why did the chicken cross I-40 in Raleigh? To prove he could before it became a parking lot.
• I’m not saying I’m from the South, but I do know the difference between a possum and a raccoon by the way they taste in a stew.
• What’s a North Carolinian’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good banjo twang and a story about a lost dog.
• You might be from North Carolina if you consider Cheerwine a basic food group.
• My doctor said I need more fiber. So, I went and bought a whole bale of cotton. Figured that’d do the trick.
• A tourist asked me, “What’s the best thing about North Carolina?” I said, “Leaving, so you can come back and appreciate it all over again.”
• Why did the Tar Heel refuse to play poker? He didn’t want to get caught bluffing about his barbecue preference.
• “How do you know someone’s from North Carolina?” “Don’t worry, they’ll tell you, probably while describing their favorite beach.”
• I tried to make sweet tea with Splenda. My grandma just stared at me like I’d committed a cardinal sin against the South.
• What’s a North Carolina ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
• My car’s AC is louder than a cicada in July, but at least it keeps the humidity from sticking to me like a wet t-shirt.
• Heard a fella say he was going to “fixin’ to go to the store.” I think that translates to “I might get around to it eventually”.
• If a North Carolinian says they’re “just a little ways” away, add at least an hour and a half to your travel time.
• They say time moves slower in the South. That’s why it takes me 10 minutes just to decide what kind of barbecue sauce I want.

North Carolina Sayings: A Deep Dive into Local Lingo

Ever wondered what a “cattywampus” situation is or why someone might be “fixin’ to” do something? “North Carolina Sayings: A Deep Dive into Local Lingo” explores the colorful language of the Tar Heel State. It’s more than just jokes; it’s a window into the history and unique culture behind these…

• That fella’s got a drawl so thick, it could probably stop a car on a dirt road, and then ask if you need a glass of sweet tea.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of people debating which barbecue is better: Eastern or Lexington.
• My North Carolina neighbor’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves stopping at three different roadside stands, just to make sure they get the best tomatoes, and then a stop at the hardware store for a new fishing pole, and then a quick stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a scenic drive through a tobacco field.
• A North Carolinian’s biggest fear isn’t a hurricane, it’s someone putting ketchup on their barbecue.
• They say patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting for your collard greens to simmer just right, and for the cornbread to come out of the oven perfectly golden brown, but not too dry.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a barbecue joint, and probably some sweet tea. Now, take a left, or maybe a right, or maybe just stop for a minute and think about what you really want, and maybe get a biscuit.”
• That fella’s got a smile as wide as the Blue Ridge Mountains, and a story to go with it, but you might need a few hours to hear the whole thing, and maybe a biscuit.
• A North Carolina mosquito is like a tiny, winged vampire with a GPS for finding the most exposed skin, and a taste for sweet tea and maybe a little bit of hushpuppy batter, too.
• They say a dog is a man’s best friend, but a hound dog in North Carolina is more like a furry, four-legged barbecue connoisseur, and he’s probably looking for some scraps.
• What’s a North Carolinian’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good banjo and a fiddle, and a story about a lost love, and a road trip to the beach, and a mention of a good barbecue joint.
• If you’re lost in North Carolina, just follow the smell of barbecue, you’ll eventually find your way, or at least a really good meal and some friendly faces, and maybe a banjo player.
• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick errand” is a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field, and a debate about which is the best.
• My North Carolina therapist told me to embrace my inner Tar Heel, so now I’m perpetually calm about the weather, always craving barbecue, and convinced that everyone else is driving too fast, and that the only good sweet tea is from my grandma’s kitchen.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the local diner has a “Sweet Tea of the Day” special, and it’s always sweeter than the last one, and it’s always served with a biscuit.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Carolina back road, full of twists, turns, and a few scenic overlooks, and you’re never quite sure where you’ll end up, but you’ll probably find some barbecue along the way, and maybe some sweet tea.

Funny North Carolina Jokes: From Mountains to Coast

Looking for a laugh, y’all? “Funny North Carolina Jokes: From Mountains to Coast” is your ticket to homegrown humor. This book digs into the quirky side of the Tar Heel State, with jokes as diverse as its landscapes. It’s a perfect addition to any collection of North Carolina sayings and…

• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of people trying to decide which barbecue sauce is better: vinegar or mustard based.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all?”
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner North Carolinian, so now I’m perpetually calm about the weather and always craving barbecue, and convinced that everyone else is driving too fast, and they should slow down and enjoy the view.
• A North Carolina winter is just a brief period where we wear long sleeves and pretend that we’re not still sweating.
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little bit too sweet, but worth it.
• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field.
• Heard about the North Carolinian who tried to teach a pig to dance? It ended with a lot of mud and a very confused pig, and then they both ended up at a barbecue cook-off.
• What’s a North Carolinian’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good banjo and a fiddle, and a story about a lost love, and a road trip to the beach, and a mention of a good barbecue joint, and maybe a little bit of bluegrass.
• That fella’s got a drawl so thick, it could probably stop a car on a dirt road, and then ask if you need a glass of sweet tea.
• A North Carolina summer is like a warm hug from a very humid friend, and the mosquitos are just there to give extra love bites.
• My North Carolina weather app has started giving me advice on how to properly cook a whole hog instead of a forecast and suggests I learn how to play a good banjo, just in case.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether you prefer your barbecue vinegar-based or mustard-based, and everyone has a very strong opinion, and a family recipe to back it up.
• A North Carolinian walks into a bar, orders a glass of sweet tea, and asks, “Is this legit? I don’t want no Yankee imposters in my glass.”
• My North Carolina grandpa says, “If you can’t fix it with a little barbecue sauce and a whole lot of patience, it probably ain’t worth fixin’.”
• They say everything is laid-back in North Carolina, but have you ever seen someone try to cut in line at a barbecue cook-off? It’s like a scene out of a western, but with more smoke, and definitely some side-eye, and maybe a little bit of a banjo solo.

Unique North Carolina Sayings: Expressions You Won’t Hear Anywhere Else

North Carolina’s charm isn’t just in its landscapes; it’s in its language! From “fixin’ to” to “cattywampus,” we’ve got sayings that’ll leave you scratching your head, or maybe chuckling. These unique expressions are a big part of our culture, and they’re a whole lot more fun than your average joke….

• That fella’s got a drawl so thick, you could spread it on a biscuit and still have some left over for your sweet tea.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether your barbecue is vinegar-based or mustard-based, and you’re ready to defend your choice to the death.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all? And did you get a biscuit?”
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little bit too sweet, but worth it, and you’ll probably need to nap afterward.
• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field, and a debate about which exit is the best.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Carolina back road, full of twists, turns, and a few scenic overlooks, and you’re never quite sure where you’ll end up, but you’ll probably find some barbecue along the way, and maybe some sweet tea, and maybe a banjo player.
• A North Carolinian’s biggest fear isn’t a hurricane, it’s someone putting ketchup on their barbecue, and then asking for directions to a place that doesn’t serve sweet tea.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the local radio station has a segment dedicated to the best places to find a good plate of barbecue and the latest college basketball scores.
• My North Carolina weather app has started giving me advice on how to properly cook a whole hog instead of a forecast and suggests I learn how to play a good banjo, just in case, and maybe learn to dance a little bit, too.
• A North Carolina traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of pickup trucks, and everyone’s waving, even if they’re all secretly late for a barbecue cook-off.
• My North Carolina friend says they don’t need a map, they just follow the smell of barbecue and the sound of a banjo, and they always end up somewhere good, and probably with some sweet tea.
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it, and you’ll probably need a nap afterward.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the local coffee shop has a “Sweet Tea Latte” and a “Barbecue Biscuit” on the menu, and everyone orders both, and then debates which is better.
• A North Carolina summer is like a warm hug from a very humid friend, and the mosquitos are just there to give extra love bites, and you should probably have some sweet tea.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether you prefer your barbecue vinegar-based or mustard-based, and everyone has a very strong opinion, and a family recipe to back it up, and they’ll probably offer you some.

North Carolina Jokes and Puns: Playing on Local Culture

North Carolina humor? It’s a delightful mix! We love poking fun at our unique culture, from sweet tea obsessions to beach trips. Our jokes and puns often play on local landmarks, accents, and the slow-paced Southern charm we’re known for. It’s all in good fun and a great way to…

• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick trip” involves a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field, and a debate about which exit is the best, and then they realize they’re late, but they got good barbecue, so it’s okay.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether you prefer your barbecue vinegar-based or mustard-based, and everyone has a very strong opinion, and a family recipe to back it up, and they’ll probably offer you some.
• My North Carolina weather app has started giving me advice on how to properly cook a whole hog instead of a forecast and suggests I learn how to play a good banjo, just in case, and maybe learn to dance a little bit, too.
• That fella’s got a smile as wide as the Blue Ridge Mountains, and a story to go with it, but you might need a few days to hear the whole thing, and maybe a biscuit.
• A North Carolinian’s biggest fear isn’t a hurricane, it’s someone putting ketchup on their barbecue.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the local radio station has a segment dedicated to the best places to find a good plate of barbecue and the latest college basketball scores.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all?”
• My North Carolina therapist told me to embrace my inner Tar Heel, so now I’m perpetually calm about the weather, always craving barbecue, and convinced that everyone else is driving too fast, and that the only good sweet tea is from my grandma’s kitchen.
• A North Carolina mosquito is like a tiny, winged vampire with a GPS for finding the most exposed skin, and a taste for sweet tea and maybe a little bit of hushpuppy batter, too.
• If you hear someone say “Hold your horses,” it’s probably best to just stop whatever you’re doing and admire the scenery, and maybe grab a glass of sweet tea.
• A North Carolinian walks into a bar, orders a glass of sweet tea, and asks, “Is this legit? I don’t want no Yankee imposters in my glass.”
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it, and you’ll probably need a nap afterward.
• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick errand” is a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field, and a debate about which is the best.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Carolina back road, full of twists, turns, and a few scenic overlooks, and you’re never quite sure where you’ll end up, but you’ll probably find some barbecue along the way, and maybe some sweet tea.
• “How do you know someone’s from North Carolina?” “Don’t worry, they’ll tell you, probably while describing their favorite beach.”

Regional North Carolina Sayings: Variations Across the State

North Carolina’s sayings are as diverse as its landscape! From the mountains to the coast, you’ll hear different phrases and expressions. “Fixin’ to” might be common in one area, while another prefers “yonder.” It’s a fun glimpse into our regional cultures, adding a unique flavor to the state’s jokes and…

• You know you’re in the Outer Banks when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of wild horses deciding to cross the highway, and everyone just pulls over to take pictures, and then maybe get some seafood.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all? And did you bring any hushpuppies?”
• A North Carolinian’s version of a “quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field, and a debate about which exit is the best, and maybe a stop for some boiled peanuts.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Carolina back road, full of twists, turns, and a few scenic overlooks, and you’re never quite sure where you’ll end up, but you’ll probably find some barbecue along the way, and maybe some sweet tea, and maybe a banjo player.
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it, and you’ll probably need a nap afterward.
• A North Carolinian’s biggest fear isn’t a hurricane, it’s someone putting ketchup on their barbecue, and then asking for directions to a place that doesn’t serve sweet tea.
• My North Carolina weather app has started giving me advice on how to properly cook a whole hog instead of a forecast and suggests I learn how to play a good banjo, just in case, and maybe learn to dance a little bit, too.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether you prefer your barbecue vinegar-based or mustard-based, and everyone has a very strong opinion, and a family recipe to back it up, and they’ll probably offer you some.
• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick errand” is a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field, and a debate about which is the best, and then they realize they’re late, but they got good barbecue, so it’s okay.
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you ever seen a sweet potato that’s been cooked just right, and then baked into a pie, and then served warm with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream? It’s a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth every bite.
• A North Carolinian walks into a bar, orders a glass of sweet tea, and asks, “Is this legit? I don’t want no Yankee imposters in my glass, and maybe a biscuit.”
• They say everything is scenic in North Carolina, but have you ever seen a sunrise over the Blue Ridge Mountains, and then had some biscuits with country ham, and then some grits, and then a nap? It’s just the best way to start a day.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all? And did you get a biscuit?”
• My North Carolina therapist told me to embrace my inner Tar Heel, so now I’m perpetually calm about the weather, always craving barbecue, and convinced that everyone else is driving too fast, and that the only good sweet tea is from my grandma’s kitchen, and that the beach is calling, and maybe the mountains, too.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the local radio station has a segment dedicated to the best places to find a good plate of barbecue and the latest college basketball scores, and everyone is listening, and probably making a list.

Family-Friendly North Carolina Jokes: Clean Humor for Everyone

Looking for a good laugh without the cringe? “Family-Friendly North Carolina Jokes” is your ticket! Part of the broader world of North Carolina sayings and jokes, this collection offers clean, relatable humor about our beloved state. From coastal quirks to mountain musings, it’s guaranteed to bring a smile to everyone’s…

• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of people trying to figure out which exit leads to the best hushpuppies.
• My North Carolina neighbor’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves stopping at three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field.
• A North Carolinian’s version of a “light snack” is a plate of barbecue, a side of slaw, and a biscuit, and maybe some hushpuppies.
• My North Carolina weather app has started giving me advice on how to play a good banjo instead of a forecast, and suggests I learn how to properly cook a whole hog, “just in case,” and maybe learn to dance a little bit, too.
• What do you call a fashionable chicken in North Carolina? A Chic-ken with a Southern drawl.
• That fella’s got a smile as wide as the Outer Banks and a drawl as thick as molasses, and you just know he’s about to tell you a story about that one time he caught a fish the size of a small dog, and you’ll probably listen.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all, and did you get some sweet tea?”.
• A North Carolinian’s biggest fear isn’t a hurricane, it’s someone putting mayonnaise on their barbecue sandwich.
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little bit too sweet, but worth it, and you’ll probably need a nap afterward.
• A North Carolina rainstorm is like a free car wash, but it also means you should probably have a boat and some sweet tea, and maybe a good book.
• My favorite North Carolina activity? Complaining about the humidity while simultaneously planning a trip to the beach, and then complaining about the tourists, and then stopping for some barbecue.
• A North Carolinian went to a fancy restaurant and ordered, “The finest grits you got, and make ’em extra buttery, bless your heart,” and then proceeded to add a dash of hot sauce, and then asked for a refill of sweet tea.
• They say a watched pot never boils, but a watched pot of collard greens will make you hungrier than a bear in spring, and then you’ll need some cornbread, and then maybe some sweet tea.
• “Bless your heart,” is a versatile phrase in North Carolina, it can mean anything from “I pity you” to “you’re about to do something incredibly foolish, and I’m going to watch, and maybe offer you a biscuit.”
• You know you’re from North Carolina when the local diner has a “Sweet Tea of the Day” special, and it’s always sweeter than the last one, and it’s always served with a biscuit, and maybe some hushpuppies.

Historical North Carolina Sayings: Tracing the Roots of Phrases

Ever wondered where those quirky North Carolina sayings come from? “Historical North Carolina Sayings” dives deep, tracing the roots of our unique phrases. Beyond just jokes, it’s a journey into our past, revealing how history shaped the way we speak. It’s a fascinating look at the stories behind the sayings…

• That fella’s got a mind like a sweet potato, good and solid, but not much to it.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of people trying to decide which barbecue joint is the best, and then stopping at all of them, just to make sure.
• My North Carolina GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all, and did you get some hushpuppies?”
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it, and you’ll probably need a nap afterwards, and maybe some sweet tea.
• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick errand” is a detour to three different barbecue joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for a Cheerwine, and then maybe a drive through a tobacco field, and a debate about which exit is the best, and then they realize they’re late.
• A North Carolina mosquito is like a tiny, winged vampire with a GPS for finding the most exposed skin, and a taste for sweet tea, and maybe a little bit of hushpuppy batter, too.
• That fella’s got a drawl so thick, you could spread it on a biscuit, and still have some left over for your sweet tea, and then have some barbecue.
• A North Carolinian walks into a bar, orders a glass of sweet tea, and asks, “Is this legit? I don’t want no Yankee imposters in my glass, and maybe a biscuit.”
• My North Carolina weather app has started giving me advice on how to properly cook a whole hog instead of a forecast and suggests I learn how to play a good banjo, just in case, and maybe learn to do a little flatfooting, too.
• My North Carolina therapist told me to embrace my inner Tar Heel, so now I’m perpetually calm about the weather, always craving barbecue, and convinced that everyone else is driving too fast, and that the only good sweet tea is from my grandma’s kitchen, and that the beach is calling, and maybe the mountains, too.
• A North Carolinian’s biggest fear isn’t a hurricane, it’s someone putting mayonnaise on their barbecue, and then asking if they have some ketchup, and then asking for directions to a place that doesn’t serve sweet tea.
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you ever seen a sunrise over the Blue Ridge Mountains, and then had some biscuits with country ham, and then some grits, and then a nap? It’s just the best way to start a day.
• “Bless your heart,” is a versatile phrase in North Carolina, it can mean anything from “I pity you” to “you’re about to do something incredibly foolish, and I’m going to watch, and maybe offer you a biscuit and some sweet tea.”
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the local radio station has a segment dedicated to the best places to find a good plate of barbecue and the latest college basketball scores, and everyone is listening, and probably making a list, and then stopping for sweet tea.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether you prefer your barbecue vinegar-based or mustard-based, and everyone has a very strong opinion, and a family recipe to back it up, and probably some sweet tea and hushpuppies to go with it.

Modern North Carolina Jokes: Keeping Up with the Times

Forget your grandma’s old sayings; North Carolina humor is evolving! “Modern North Carolina Jokes” captures our state’s quirky side, from tech-savvy jokes about Raleigh to beach-themed memes. It’s a fresh take on familiar themes, proving that even our beloved traditions can get a modern, laugh-out-loud twist.

• My North Carolina weather app has started suggesting I learn how to play bluegrass banjo, “just in case” the power goes out, and I need to entertain the neighbors.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of people trying to decide which beach has the best seafood, and then stopping at all of them, just to make sure.
• A North Carolinian’s idea of a “quick trip” to the grocery store involves a detour to three different barbecue joints, and then a stop for some Cheerwine, and then a debate about which is the best, and then maybe a stop for a biscuit, and then a stop at a roadside produce stand, and then a stop at a hardware store, just in case.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Tar Heel, so now I’m perpetually calm about the weather, always craving barbecue, and convinced that everyone else is driving too fast, and that the only good sweet tea is from my grandma’s kitchen.
• They say everything is beautiful in North Carolina, but have you seen the size of a sweet potato? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it, and you’ll probably need a nap afterwards.
• A North Carolinian’s biggest fear isn’t a hurricane, it’s someone putting mayonnaise on their barbecue, and then asking if they have ketchup, and then asking for directions to a place that doesn’t serve sweet tea, and then they’ll probably have to go get a biscuit and some boiled peanuts to calm down.
• My GPS in North Carolina just keeps saying, “You’re near a beach, a mountain, and a barbecue joint. Now, what’s the plan, y’all, and did you get some hushpuppies?”
• What’s a North Carolinian’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good banjo twang and a story about a lost love, and a road trip to the beach, and a mention of a good barbecue joint, and maybe a little bit of bluegrass, but definitely not from Virginia.
• You know you’re in North Carolina when the local gas station sells more boiled peanuts than actual gasoline, and they’re perfectly salty, and everyone is polite about it, mostly, and then they offer you some.
• My North Carolina friend says they don’t need a map, they just follow the smell of barbecue and the sound of a banjo, and they always end up somewhere good, and probably with some sweet tea, and maybe some hushpuppies, and maybe a biscuit, and maybe a peach cobbler.
• A North Carolinian walks into a bar, orders a glass of sweet tea, and asks, “Is this legit? I don’t want no Yankee imposters in my glass, and maybe a biscuit.”
• A North Carolinian’s version of a “light snack” is a plate of barbecue, a side of slaw, and a handful of hushpuppies, and maybe a biscuit, just to tide them over until dinner.
• My neighbor’s dog is so North Carolinian, he chases after fireflies and then curls up by the porch swing for a nap, and then expects a biscuit for his efforts.
• They say everything is scenic in North Carolina, but have you ever seen a sunrise over the Blue Ridge Mountains while eating biscuits and gravy, and sipping on some sweet tea, and then having a nap? It’s the best way to start a day, bless your heart.
• My North Carolina weather app has started giving me advice on how to properly cook a whole hog instead of a forecast, and suggests I learn how to play a good banjo, “just in case”, and maybe learn to do a little flatfooting, too.