150 Best Oklahoma Sayings and Jokes That Will Have You Howling

Ever heard someone say “Well, I’ll be hornswoggled!” and wondered what on earth they meant? That’s just a taste of the colorful world of Oklahoma sayings and jokes! This state is brimming with unique expressions and humor that reflect its history and people.

Dive in as we explore some of the most beloved Oklahoma sayings, from down-home wisdom to laugh-out-loud one-liners. Get ready to understand the local lingo and maybe even add a few of these gems to your own vocabulary!

We’ll uncover the wit and charm behind these regional phrases, proving that Oklahoma’s sense of humor is as big as its sky.

Best Oklahoma Sayings and Jokes That Will Have You Howling

• “Bless your heart,” said the Oklahoma grandma, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea in July.”
• Why did the tumbleweed cross the road in Oklahoma? Because it hadn’t seen a good fence in miles!
• An Okie walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
• Oklahoma weather is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get… unless it’s wind, then you know you’re getting wind.
• I tried to explain the concept of ‘humidity’ to my friend from Oklahoma. He just looked at me and said, “Honey, we call that ‘air’.”
• Two Okies were arguing about whether the wind was blowing east or west. The tiebreaker? They looked at which way their hair was going.
• “How do you know if someone’s from Oklahoma?” the comedian joked. “Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
• My Oklahoma GPS told me to “make a left at the next dirt patch.” I’m not sure if it’s broken, or just really, really local.
• A tornado and a dust storm walked into a bar. The bartender said, “So, you guys from around here?”
• They say Oklahoma is flat, but I saw a hill once. I think it was a misplaced speed bump.
• I asked a farmer in Oklahoma what he thought about the new weather app. He laughed and said, “I got a rooster, he tells me all I need to know.”
• In Oklahoma, a traffic jam is when three cars are at the same stop sign.
• An Okie was asked if he preferred the city or the country. He said, “Give me a porch swing and a glass of iced tea, and I’m good anywhere.”
• My friend said Oklahoma has four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer, and a brief, chilly period before almost summer again.
• What do you call a fancy restaurant in Oklahoma? A place with indoor plumbing and air conditioning.

Oklahoma Slang: A Deep Dive into Local Lingo

Ever wondered what “fixin’ to” really means? Or why Oklahomans say “caddywhompus”? Dive into ‘Oklahoma Slang: A Deep Dive into Local Lingo’ alongside our ‘Oklahoma Sayings and Jokes’ collection. It’s a fun journey into the heart of the Sooner State, exploring the colorful language that makes our humor so unique…

• That fella’s got a mind like a dirt road after a gully washer; full of ruts and not going anywhere fast.
• Oklahoma: Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, and then sweeps back up again, just for fun.
• You know you’re in Oklahoma when the biggest debate is about which is the best brand of chicken-fried steak, and then everyone goes to Braum’s for ice cream to recover.
• My Oklahoma weather app just keeps saying, “Hold on to your hat, it’s gonna get windy, and maybe it’ll rain, or maybe it won’t, but it’s gonna be windy.”
• That idea is about as useful as a screen door on a teepee, or maybe a snow shovel in July in Oklahoma.
• An Oklahoman’s idea of a “quick trip” involves stopping at three different BBQ joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for some fried okra, and then maybe a drive through a field of sunflowers.
• They say patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting for your chicken-fried steak to be cooked just right, and for the gravy to be perfectly creamy, but not too thick, because then it gets gummy.
• They say everything is flat in Oklahoma, but have you seen the size of a thunderstorm cloud rolling in? It’s practically a mountain range of rain and lightning, and a good reason to stay inside and eat some pie.
• An Okie walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you…and they’re probably talking about the weather.”
• My Oklahoma grandpa says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of duct tape and a whole lot of prayer, it probably ain’t worth fixin’, and maybe you should just grab a piece of pie and relax a bit, and maybe take a nap.”
• That fella’s got a smile like a possum eatin’ a persimmon, a little sweet, a little unsettling, and you’re not sure what he’s going to do next.
• What’s an Okie’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good fiddle and a steel guitar, as long as it’s not from Texas.
• My Oklahoma GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a field, and possibly a tornado, now choose your own adventure, and maybe grab some fried okra.”
• They say Oklahoma has four seasons, but really it’s just “almost summer,” “summer,” “still summer,” and “a brief chilly period before almost summer again,” and then maybe some ice.
• An Oklahoma politician’s idea of a “fact-finding mission” is a weekend trip to a barbecue competition, all expenses paid, and a lot of handshaking while eating ribs, and then talking about the weather and maybe college football.

Oklahoma Jokes: Humor From the Heartland

“Oklahoma Jokes: Humor From the Heartland” captures the state’s unique wit. It’s not just about cowboys and tumbleweeds; it’s about finding the funny in everyday life. This collection, within Oklahoma Sayings and Jokes, showcases the down-to-earth humor Oklahomans are known for, proving laughter is truly a universal language in the…

• An Oklahoma tornado is just nature’s way of rearranging your yard furniture and then giving you a free car wash… maybe.
• You know you’re in Oklahoma when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but which chicken-fried steak is the best and then you go to Braums for ice cream.
• My Oklahoma GPS just said, “You’re near a dirt road and a convenience store. Good luck finding your destination.”
• That fella’s got a mind like an Oklahoma highway, long, flat, and a little bit dusty, and probably a detour due to road construction.
• An Oklahoman’s idea of a “quick trip” involves stopping at three different BBQ joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for some fried okra.
• Oklahoma weather is like a country song, it’s either sunny and beautiful, or it’s raining and you’re probably about to get a tornado warning, so you should probably grab a glass of sweet tea and a blanket.
• What’s an Okie’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good fiddle and a steel guitar, as long as it’s not from Texas, and maybe a little bit of country, but only if it’s about a pickup truck.
• An Oklahoma wind is like a toddler throwing a tantrum, it’s unpredictable, loud, and often involves a lot of dirt and leaves.
• “Bless your heart,” said the Oklahoma grandma, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea in July, and maybe you should go inside, and I’ll make you a biscuit.”
• My Oklahoma therapist told me to embrace my inner Okie, so now I’m perpetually calm, always thinking about the weather, and carrying a slice of pie with me, just in case.
• If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, just wait five minutes, or maybe five hours, or maybe until next week, it’s a gamble really, and probably bring an umbrella, and maybe a coat, and maybe a hat, just in case.
• My Oklahoma car has a permanent layer of dust, it’s a badge of honor, and a testament to the endless open roads, and the wind.
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen the size of a thunderstorm cloud rolling in over Oklahoma, it’s practically a mountain range of rain and lightning.
• My Oklahoma grandpa always says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of duct tape and a whole lot of patience, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just grab a piece of pie and relax a bit.”
• An Oklahoma resident’s idea of a “speed chase” is a tumbleweed blowing across a field and a farmer trying to catch it with a tractor, and then they both stop and have a glass of sweet tea.

Funny Oklahoma Sayings: Unique Expressions You’ll Hear

Oklahoma’s got a way with words, y’all! Beyond the usual “howdy,” you’ll hear some truly unique expressions. “Bless your heart” can mean anything, and “fixin’ to” is practically a state motto. These funny sayings and jokes are woven into the fabric of Oklahoma life, adding a special charm to everyday…

• That fella’s got a mind like a dirt road after a rain, all muddy and a little bit confusing, and you’re probably gonna get stuck somewhere.
• Oklahoma: Where the wind is always a little bit too strong, and the tumbleweeds have a mind of their own, and the sky is bigger than your problems, and maybe you should just go get some pie.
• My Oklahoma GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a dirt road, and maybe a convenience store. Good luck, and try not to get blown away.”
• You know you’re in Oklahoma when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but which chicken-fried steak is the best, and then everyone goes to Braum’s for ice cream to recover from all the arguing.
• My Oklahoma car has a permanent layer of dust, it’s a badge of honor and a testament to the endless open roads and the wind, and also a reminder that I should probably wash it, but what’s the point?
• That’s about as likely as a coyote ordering a salad, or a tumbleweed planting itself in the ground, or a calm day in Oklahoma, and maybe you should just get some pie.
• An Okie’s idea of a “quick trip” involves stopping at three different BBQ joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for some fried okra, and then maybe a drive through a field of sunflowers, and then you’re late.
• Oklahoma weather is like a country song, it’s either sunny and beautiful, or it’s raining and you’re probably about to get a tornado warning, so you should probably grab a glass of sweet tea and a blanket, and then maybe some pie.
• “Bless your heart,” said the Oklahoma grandma, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea in July, and maybe you should go inside and sit a spell, and maybe have a biscuit, and maybe a nap.”
• My Oklahoma therapist told me to embrace my inner Okie, so now I’m perpetually calm, always thinking about the weather, and carrying a slice of pie with me, just in case.
• A speeding car in Oklahoma is like a tumbleweed, it’s just going wherever the wind takes it, and it’s probably gonna end up in a ditch, and you should probably just get out of its way.
• What’s an Okie’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good fiddle and a steel guitar, as long as it’s not from Texas, and maybe a little bit of country, but only if it’s about a pickup truck, and maybe a little bit of bluegrass.
• That fella’s got a drawl so thick, you could spread it on a biscuit, and still have some left over for your sweet tea, and then go get some barbecue, and then sit a spell, and then talk about the weather.
• An Oklahoman’s idea of a “speed chase” is a tumbleweed blowing across a field and a farmer trying to catch it with a tractor, and then they both stop and have a glass of sweet tea and then argue about which brand of fertilizer is best.
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen the size of a thunderstorm cloud rolling into Oklahoma. It’s practically a mountain range of rain and lightning, and a good reason to stay inside and eat some pie, and maybe watch the weather channel, and then talk about it for hours.

Oklahoma-Specific Jokes: Laughing at the Sooner State

Oklahoma humor, like its landscape, is unique. We chuckle at our weather extremes, the “land runs,” and our love of college football, often with a playful jab at Texas. From “fixin’ to” to tales of tumbleweeds, our jokes reflect our shared experiences and the Sooner spirit. It’s a way we…

• An Oklahoma GPS is just a suggestion; the wind will take you where it wants you to go.
• Oklahoma: Where the tumbleweeds have more friends than you do, and they’re always having a party on the highway.
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen an Oklahoma thunderstorm roll in, it’s practically a biblical event with a side of free lightning show.
• My Oklahoma car has a permanent layer of red dirt; it’s a badge of honor, and a testament to the endless open roads and a reminder that I need to get it washed.
• An Oklahoma minute is like a regular minute, but it takes a little longer and probably involves a conversation about the weather, and a glass of sweet tea, and maybe a discussion about the best place to get fried okra.
• My Oklahoma neighbor says, “If you can’t fix it with duct tape and a little bit of ingenuity, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just go get some pie and relax a bit.”
• That fella’s got a mind like an Oklahoma highway, long, flat, and a little bit dusty, and probably under construction.
• An Oklahoma politician’s idea of a “fact-finding mission” is a weekend trip to a barbecue competition, all expenses paid, and a lot of handshaking while eating ribs, and then talking about college football.
• You know you’re in Oklahoma when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but which chicken-fried steak is the best, and then everyone goes to Braum’s for ice cream to recover from all the arguing, and then they start the debate all over again.
• What’s an Okie’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good fiddle and a steel guitar, as long as it’s not from Texas, and maybe a little bit of country, but only if it’s about a pickup truck and a lost dog.
• My Oklahoma weather app just tells me to hold onto my hat, it’s gonna get windy, and maybe it’ll rain, or maybe it won’t, but it’s gonna be windy, and maybe you should just get some pie.
• “Bless your heart,” said the Oklahoma grandma, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea in July, and maybe you should go inside and sit a spell, and then I’ll make you a biscuit, and then maybe a pie.”
• An Oklahoman’s idea of a “quick trip” involves stopping at three different BBQ joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for some fried okra, and then maybe a drive through a field of sunflowers, and then you’re late.
• An Oklahoma tornado is just nature’s way of rearranging your yard furniture, and then seeing if you have good insurance.
• An Okie walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you… and they’re probably talking about college football, and the weather.”

Common Oklahoma Sayings: Understanding the Local Culture

Oklahoma sayings are a fun window into the local culture. Beyond the jokes, phrases like “fixin’ to” or “bless your heart” reveal a laid-back, yet sincere way of life. Understanding these sayings isn’t just about language; it’s about grasping the heart of Oklahoman humor and hospitality.

• My Oklahoma GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a crossroads, and probably some wind. Good luck figuring out which way to go, and maybe stop for some pie.”
• That fella’s got a mind like a prairie wind, always changing direction and never quite settling down, and probably gonna bring some dust with it.
• You know you’re in Oklahoma when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of tumbleweeds having a meeting in the middle of the road, and everyone just patiently waits, and maybe has some sweet tea.
• A true Oklahoman can tell you the difference between a dust devil and a tornado, and they probably have a story about the time one came through their backyard, and they’ll tell it to you while sipping sweet tea.
• My Oklahoma car has a permanent layer of red dirt, it’s a badge of honor, and a testament to the endless open roads, and the wind, and the fact that I just don’t wash it, because what’s the point, it will just get dusty again.
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen the size of a thunderstorm cloud rolling into Oklahoma, it’s practically a biblical event with a free lightning show, and you should probably find some pie to wait it out.
• My Oklahoma neighbor’s dog thinks tumbleweeds are just rogue sheep and the fields are his personal herding ground, and he’s always trying to bring them back home, and then he just gives up and takes a nap in the shade.
• They say patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting for your chicken-fried steak to be cooked just right, and for the gravy to be perfectly creamy, but not too thick, and not too thin, and then you’ll probably order some fried okra with it.
• An Okie’s idea of a “quick trip” involves stopping at three different BBQ joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for some fried okra, and then maybe a drive through a field of sunflowers, and then you’re late, but it’s fine, because you got good barbecue, and a lot of sweet tea.
• My Oklahoma grandma says, “If you can’t fix it with duct tape and a little bit of common sense, it probably ain’t worth fixin’, and maybe you should just grab a piece of pie and relax a bit, and maybe talk about the weather.”
• My Oklahoma weather app just tells me to hold on to my hat, it’s gonna get windy, and maybe it’ll rain, or maybe it won’t, but it’s gonna be windy, and maybe you should just get some pie.
• An Oklahoma politician’s idea of a “fact-finding mission” is a weekend trip to a barbecue competition, all expenses paid, and a lot of handshaking while eating a rack of ribs, and talking about the weather, and maybe college football.
• What’s an Okie’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good fiddle and a steel guitar, as long as it’s not from Texas, and maybe a little bit of country, but only if it’s about a pickup truck, and a dog, and maybe a lost love, and definitely a good sunset.
• A tornado and a tumbleweed walk into a bar. The bartender says, “So, you guys from around here?”
• “Bless your heart,” said the Oklahoma grandma, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea in July, and maybe you should go inside and sit a spell, and I’ll make you a biscuit, and then maybe some pie.”

Oklahoma Humor: Wit and Wisdom from the Plains

Oklahoma humor, like its landscape, is vast and varied. “Oklahoma Sayings and Jokes” showcases this wit, often born from the plains’ challenges. Expect dry observations, self-deprecating stories, and a healthy dose of folksy wisdom. It’s humor that’s both down-to-earth and surprisingly insightful, reflecting the true spirit of Oklahomans.

• An Oklahoman’s idea of a speed chase is a tumbleweed blowing across a field and a farmer trying to catch it with a lawn mower.
• Oklahoma: Where the wind is always a little too strong, and the sky is bigger than your problems, and maybe you should just go get some pie.
• My Oklahoma car has a permanent layer of red dirt; it’s a badge of honor, and a testament to the endless open roads, and the fact that I just don’t wash it, because what’s the point, it will just get dusty again, and probably need more sweet tea.
• An Okie walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you… and they’re probably talking about the weather and college football.”
• They say patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting for your chicken-fried steak to be cooked just right, and for the gravy to be perfectly creamy, but not too thick, and not too thin, and then you’ll probably order some fried okra with it, and maybe a slice of pie.
• A true Oklahoman can tell you the difference between a dust devil and a tornado, and they probably have a story about the time one came through their backyard, and they’ll tell it to you while sipping sweet tea, and maybe some pie.
• My Oklahoma weather app just tells me to hold onto my hat, it’s gonna get windy, and maybe it’ll rain, or maybe it won’t, but it’s gonna be windy, and maybe you should just get some pie.
• “Bless your heart,” said the Oklahoma grandma, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea in July, and maybe you should go inside and sit a spell, and then I’ll make you a biscuit, and then maybe a pie.”
• An Oklahoman’s idea of a “quick trip” involves stopping at three different BBQ joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for some fried okra, and then maybe a drive through a field of sunflowers, and then you’re late.
• My Oklahoma GPS told me to “make a left at the next dirt patch.” I’m not sure if it’s broken, or just really, really local, and maybe it’s telling me to go to the nearest pie shop.
• Oklahoma: Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, and then sweeps back up again, just for fun, and maybe to take your hat, and maybe your car, and then you should probably just go get some pie.
• My Oklahoma grandpa always says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of duct tape and a whole lot of patience, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just grab a piece of pie and relax a bit, and maybe talk about the weather, and maybe college football.”
• A speeding car in Oklahoma is like a tumbleweed, it’s just going wherever the wind takes it, and it’s probably gonna end up in a ditch, and maybe you should just get out of its way, and maybe go get some pie.
• An Okie walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you… and they’re probably talking about the weather and the football scores, and the best place to get fried okra.”
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen the size of a thunderstorm cloud rolling in over Oklahoma. It’s practically a biblical event with a free lightning show, and you should probably find some pie to wait it out, and maybe some sweet tea, and then talk about the weather.

Vintage Oklahoma Sayings: Expressions from the Past

Diving into “Vintage Oklahoma Sayings” is like unearthing a treasure chest of old-timey charm. These expressions, often witty and folksy, offer a glimpse into Oklahoma’s past. They’re more than just words; they’re a piece of our history, adding a special flavor to the “Oklahoma Sayings and Jokes” we share today.

• That fella’s got a mind like a tumbleweed, blowin’ every which way and never stayin’ put.
• Oklahoma: Where the wind is always a little too strong, the sky is a little too big, and the pie is always just right, and you should probably get some, bless your heart.
• He’s about as useful as a screen door on a chicken coop, or a snow shovel in July in Oklahoma, or a bucket with no bottom, or a map with no roads.
• “Well, I’ll be a prairie dog’s uncle,” she said, “that’s the dangdest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a dust devil try to steal a tumbleweed.”
• An Okie’s idea of a speed chase is a tumbleweed blowing across a field, and a farmer trying to catch it with a tractor, and then stopping for sweet tea and a discussion about the weather, and maybe some pie.
• That fella’s got a smile like a prairie sunrise, beautiful, but a little bit deceptive, because you know it’s gonna get hot and windy soon.
• “Bless your heart,” she said, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea on a porch in July, and maybe you should go inside and get some ice, and maybe some pie, too.”
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen the size of a dust storm in Oklahoma.
• An Okie’s biggest fear isn’t a tornado, it’s running out of sweet tea, and then having to drink something that isn’t sweet, and then they’ll probably just go get some pie to make it better.
• Heard about the Okie who tried to teach a pig to sing? It ended with a lot of squealing, a very confused pig, and a song about the weather, and then they both went to get some pie.
• Oklahoma: Where the wind is always a little too strong, the sky is always a little too big, and the coffee is always a little too hot, and you should probably just go get some pie.
• That’s about as likely as a tumbleweed staying put in a windstorm, or a coyote ordering a salad, or a Sooners fan cheering for the Cowboys, and maybe you should just grab a glass of sweet tea, and maybe some pie.
• “Well, I’ll be a horned toad’s uncle,” he said, “that’s about the dangdest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a tumbleweed try to steal a cowboy hat.”
• An Oklahoma politician’s idea of a “fact-finding mission” is a weekend trip to a barbecue competition, all expenses paid, and a lot of handshaking while eating ribs, and then a long discussion about the weather, and then maybe a slice of pie.
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen the sky in Oklahoma, it’s like a giant canvas painted with clouds and sunshine, and you should probably just go get some pie, and maybe some sweet tea, and just sit and admire it.

Oklahoma Jokes and Puns: A Play on Words

Oklahoma humor, like its landscape, is vast and varied. “Oklahoma Jokes and Puns: A Play on Words” explores the state’s unique wit, focusing on clever wordplay. From “Okie dokie” to puns about the wind, this collection highlights how Oklahomans find humor in everyday life, making it a delightful dive into…

• That fella’s got a mind like an Oklahoma highway, long, flat, and a little bit dusty, and probably under construction, and maybe a detour due to a tumbleweed.
• An Oklahoman’s idea of a “quick trip” involves stopping at three different BBQ joints, just to make sure they get the best ribs, and then a stop for some fried okra, and then maybe a drive through a field of sunflowers, and then they realize they’re late for supper, but they got good barbecue, so it’s okay.
• They say the wind comes sweeping down the plains, but in Oklahoma, it also comes sweeping back up again, just for fun, and maybe to take your hat, and probably your car, too.
• An Okie’s biggest fear isn’t a tornado, it’s running out of sweet tea, and then having to drink something that isn’t sweet, and then they’ll probably just go get some pie to make it better.
• My Oklahoma car has a permanent layer of red dirt; it’s a badge of honor, and a testament to the endless open roads, and the wind, and the fact that I just don’t wash it, because what’s the point, it will just get dusty again.
• An Oklahoman’s idea of a “speed chase” is a tumbleweed blowing across a freshly plowed field and a farmer trying to catch it before it gets into the next county, and then they both stop for some sweet tea and a discussion about the weather.
• My Oklahoma weather app just tells me to hold on to my hat, it’s gonna get windy, and maybe it’ll rain, or maybe it won’t, but it’s gonna be windy, and maybe you should just get some pie.
• A true Oklahoman can tell you the difference between a dust devil and a tornado, and they probably have a story about the time one came through their backyard, and they’ll tell it to you while sipping sweet tea, and maybe eating some fried okra.
• “Bless your heart,” said the Oklahoma grandma, “you’re sweating like a glass of sweet tea in July, and maybe you should go inside and sit a spell, and then I’ll make you a biscuit, and then maybe some pie.”
• My Oklahoma GPS told me to “make a left at the next dirt patch.” I’m not sure if it’s broken, or just really, really local, and maybe it’s telling me to go to the nearest pie shop.
• Oklahoma: Where the wind is always a little too strong, and the tumbleweeds have a mind of their own, and the sky is bigger than your problems, and maybe you should just go get some pie.
• An Okie walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you… and they’re probably talking about the weather and college football and the best place to get fried okra.”
• They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they haven’t seen the size of a thunderstorm cloud rolling in over Oklahoma. It’s practically a biblical event with a free lightning show, and you should probably find some pie to wait it out.
• A speeding car in Oklahoma is like a tumbleweed, it’s just going wherever the wind takes it, and it’s probably gonna end up in a ditch, and maybe you should just get out of its way, and maybe go get some pie.
• That’s about as likely as a tumbleweed staying put in a windstorm, or a coyote ordering a salad, or a Sooners fan cheering for the Cowboys, and maybe you should just grab a glass of sweet tea, and maybe some pie.