150 Best Pennsylvania Sayings and Jokes Youll Absolutely Love

Ever heard someone say “yinz” and wondered what planet they were from? Welcome to the wonderful, quirky world of Pennsylvania, where the language is as unique as its landscape. We’re diving deep into the heart of the Keystone State to explore the hilarious and often head-scratching world of Pennsylvania sayings and jokes.

From the rolling hills to bustling cities, Pennsylvanians have a way with words. Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even adopt a few new phrases as we uncover the local lingo and humor that make this state so special. So, grab a hoagie and let’s get started!

Best Pennsylvania Sayings and Jokes Youll Absolutely Love

• Why did the cheesesteak cross the road? To get to the other side of Philly, obviously, where the lines are shorter.
• A Pennsylvania Dutch farmer was asked if he believed in reincarnation. He replied, “I’m not sure, but if I come back as a groundhog, I’m movin’ to Punxsutawney!”
• “Yinz wanna go dahntahn for some pierogies?” Translation: “Would you like to go downtown for some pierogies?”
• Pennsylvania is so flat, you can watch your dog run away for three days.
• My car’s from Pennsylvania. I’m always getting flagged for having a plate that looks like a license tag.
• A guy from Pittsburgh asked a tourist, “Did yinz enjoy the incline?” The tourist replied, “Yes, but it was a bit of a… steep learning curve.”
• How do you know you’re in Pennsylvania? The potholes have their own zip codes.
• Why did the Philly soft pretzel get a promotion? Because it was always in a twist to get the job done.
• The official state bird of Pennsylvania should be the mosquito. It’s everywhere and it’s always annoying.
• In Pennsylvania, we don’t have “spring cleaning,” we have “mud season.”
• I tried to explain the concept of “hoagies” to someone from out of state. They just kept asking if it was a type of sandwich.
• Two Pennsylvanians are arguing about which town has the best pizza. “Mine’s the best!” “No, mine’s better!” they shout, completely oblivious to the fact that they are both in the same county.
• A Pennsylvanian walks into a coffee shop. “Can I get a regular coffee, please?” The barista looks confused and says, “Do you mean… a ‘coffee’ coffee?”
• The difference between a Pennsylvanian and someone from out of state? A Pennsylvanian knows that “jimmies” are sprinkles, not a nickname.
• “It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s just that my ‘pahk’ is a long ways from the house.”

Pennsylvania Dutch Wisdom: Common Sayings

Pennsylvania Dutch wisdom, often found in simple sayings, adds a unique flavor to our local humor. These aren’t just jokes; they’re nuggets of practical advice, often about hard work or frugality, passed down through generations. You might hear “Make haste slowly” or “Early to bed, early to rise,” reflecting a…

• That fella’s got a mind like a Lancaster County road, full of twists and turns and horse-drawn buggies going slower than you’d expect.
• You know you’re in Pennsylvania when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether to put ketchup or mustard on your pierogi, and everyone has a very strong opinion about it, and they’ll all tell you about it, and then offer you one.
• My Pennsylvania Dutch grandpa says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of shoofly pie and a whole lot of patience, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just grab a pretzel and relax a bit, and maybe take a nap.”
• They say everything is historic in Philadelphia, but have you seen the size of a cheesesteak? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little bit messy, but worth it.
• A Pennsylvanian’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on their nicest flannel and a pair of boots that don’t have mud on them, and maybe a baseball cap.
• That fella’s got a smile like a groundhog after seeing his shadow, a little bit sneaky and maybe a bit too early.
• My Pennsylvania Dutch neighbor’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves stopping at three different farmers markets, just to make sure they get the best produce, and then a stop for some whoopie pies, and then a conversation about the weather, and then they realize they forgot the milk.
• They say everything is flat in Pennsylvania, but have you seen the size of a soft pretzel? It’s practically a mountain range of doughy goodness, and maybe a side of mustard.
• You know you’re in Pennsylvania when the local diner has a “Scrapple of the Day” special, and you’re not really sure what it is, but you’re gonna try it anyway, and you’ll probably like it, and then you’ll probably get some apple butter to go with it.
• My GPS in Pennsylvania just keeps saying, “You’re near a one-way street, and probably some road construction. Good luck, and watch out for the potholes, and maybe grab a soft pretzel.”
• A Pennsylvanian’s version of a “traffic jam” is when a flock of geese decides to cross the road during the morning commute, and everyone just patiently waits.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Pennsylvania covered bridge, old, sturdy, and a little bit dark inside.
• A Pennsylvanian walks into a bar, orders a Yuengling, and asks, “Is this local? I don’t want no Yankee imposters in my glass.”
• My Pennsylvania Dutch grandma says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of apple butter and a whole lot of stubbornness, it probably ain’t worth fixin’.”
• A Pennsylvanian’s biggest fear isn’t a snowstorm, it’s someone mispronouncing “Schuylkill,” and then putting ketchup on a soft pretzel.

Yinz and Youse: Understanding Pennsylvania’s Unique Lingo

Ever wondered why Pennsylvanians say “yinz” or “youse”? It’s part of our unique lingo! These words, often heard in jokes and everyday conversations, are second-person plural pronouns. Understanding them unlocks a deeper appreciation for Pennsylvania’s humor and cultural quirks. It’s more than just slang; it’s a piece of our identity.

• That fella’s got a mind like a Pennsylvania covered bridge, old, sturdy, and a little bit dark inside.
• You know you’re in Pennsylvania when the local diner has a “Scrapple of the Day” special, and you’re not really sure what it is, but you’re gonna try it anyway, and you’ll probably like it, and then you’ll probably get some apple butter to go with it.
• My car is from Pennsylvania. I’m always getting flagged for having a plate that looks like a license tag.
• A Pennsylvanian walks into a coffee shop. “Can I get a regular coffee, please?” The barista looks confused and says, “Do you mean… a ‘coffee’ coffee?”
• They say everything is flat in Pennsylvania, but have you seen the size of a soft pretzel? It’s practically a mountain range of doughy goodness, and maybe a side of mustard, and maybe you should grab a second one, too.
• A Pennsylvanian’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on their nicest flannel and a pair of boots that don’t have mud on them, and maybe a baseball cap, and maybe a pair of Carhartts.
• A Pennsylvanian’s version of a “traffic jam” is a flock of geese crossing the road during the morning commute, and everyone just patiently waits, and maybe takes a picture for the gram.
• My Pennsylvania Dutch grandpa says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of shoofly pie and a whole lot of patience, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just grab a pretzel and relax a bit, and maybe take a nap.”
• “Yinz wanna go dahntahn for some pierogies?” Translation: “Would you like to go downtown for some pierogies?”
• You know you’re in Pennsylvania when the biggest debate isn’t politics, but whether to put ketchup or mustard on your pierogi, and everyone has a very strong opinion about it, and they’ll all tell you about it, and then offer you one.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Lancaster County road, full of twists and turns and horse-drawn buggies going slower than you’d expect, and maybe a stop at a farmers market.
• My GPS in Pennsylvania just keeps saying, “You’re near a one-way street, and probably some road construction. Good luck, and watch out for the potholes, and maybe grab a soft pretzel.”
• A Pennsylvanian’s biggest fear isn’t a snowstorm, it’s someone mispronouncing “Schuylkill,” and then putting ketchup on a soft pretzel, and then asking for directions to Philly.
• What do you call a fashionable chicken in Pennsylvania? A chic-ken with a soft pretzel, and a little bit of attitude.
• They say everything is flat in Pennsylvania, but have you seen the size of a soft pretzel? It’s practically a mountain range of doughy goodness, and maybe a side of mustard, and maybe you should grab a second one.

Funny Philly Phrases: Jokes from the City of Brotherly Love

Looking for a laugh? Dive into “Funny Philly Phrases,” a hilarious collection within Pennsylvania’s broader joke landscape. This book captures the unique, often quirky, humor of Philadelphia. Expect witty wordplay, relatable scenarios, and plenty of local flavor. It’s a perfect dose of brotherly love, laughter, and a true taste of…

• My GPS in Philly just keeps saying, “You’re near a cheesesteak, now what?”
• A true Philadelphian can tell you the difference between a “wit” and a “wit-out” and they probably have a strong opinion about which is better, and they will defend that opinion until they get a soft pretzel.
• You know you’re in Philly when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of people arguing about which is the best cheesesteak shop, and then they all go to different places to get one.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Philadelphian, so now I’m perpetually stressed about parking and obsessed with cheesesteaks, and always yelling at the refs.
• That fella’s got a mind like the Schuylkill Expressway during rush hour, a chaotic mix of lane changes, sudden stops, and a whole lot of horn honking.
• They say everything is historic in Philly, but have you seen the size of a cheesesteak? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little bit messy, but worth it.
• A Philadelphian’s idea of a “quick errand” is a detour to the Reading Terminal Market, a stop for a cheesesteak, and then a debate about the best place to get a soft pretzel, and then a conversation about the Eagles.
• My favorite Philly activity? Complaining about the traffic while simultaneously trying to find a parking spot that isn’t a mile away from where I need to be, and then complaining about the price of the parking, and then stopping for a cheesesteak.
• My Philly neighbor says they don’t need a map, they just follow the scent of cheesesteaks and the sound of someone yelling “Yo!”
• My Philly weather app just suggests I invest in a good pair of walking shoes, and a strong umbrella, and to not bother looking at the forecast, and then maybe grab a cheesesteak.
• You haven’t experienced true Philadelphia culture until you’ve spent an afternoon trying to parallel park on a narrow street in South Philly, and then you get a parking ticket, and then you go get a cheesesteak to make it better.
• A Philadelphian’s biggest fear isn’t a snowstorm, it’s someone putting ketchup on their cheesesteak, and then asking for directions to New York.
• That fella’s got a smile like a soft pretzel, twisted and a little bit salty, but still pretty good.
• They say patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting in line at a cheesesteak shop on a Saturday afternoon, and you’re probably going to be waiting a while.
• They say everything is historic in Philadelphia, but have you seen the size of a soft pretzel? It’s practically a monument to doughy goodness, and maybe a side of mustard, and maybe you should get another one.

Western PA Humor: Steel City Jokes and Sayings

Pennsylvania humor has a special corner for Western PA, where “yinz” replaces “you all” and jokes often involve pierogies or the Steelers. It’s a unique blend of industrial grit and neighborly warmth, with sayings that are as strong as steel. You’ll find a playful, self-deprecating spirit in their stories, making…

• That fella’s got a mind like the Liberty Tunnel, always under construction and a little bit congested.
• You know you’re from Pittsburgh when you can navigate a roundabout without even thinking about it, and then complain about the traffic.
• My yinzer neighbor’s idea of a “light snack” is a chipped ham sandwich, a pierogi, and a chipped ham sandwich.
• A Pittsburgh traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of cars trying to find the best parking spot for the game, and then complaining about the price.
• That’s about as likely as finding a parking spot in the Strip District on a Saturday morning.
• My Pittsburgh GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a bridge, a tunnel, and a pierogi shop. Good luck, and watch out for the potholes, yinz.”
• They say everything is steel in Pittsburgh, but have you seen the size of a Primanti’s sandwich? It’s practically a monument to carbs and coleslaw.
• You know you’re from Western PA when “pop” is a perfectly acceptable term for any carbonated beverage, and you’ll defend it to the death.
• He’s got a smile as bright as the lights of PNC Park, and a personality just as unpredictable.
• You know you’re in Western PA when a “slight chance of snow” means you should probably stock up on bread, milk, and a good shovel, and maybe some pierogies.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Pittsburgh parking spot, hard to find and usually taken by someone from out of town.
• My yinzer friend says they don’t need a weather app, they just look at the sky and say, “Yep, looks like another day in Pittsburgh,” and then grab an umbrella.
• My favorite Pittsburgh activity? Complaining about the traffic while simultaneously planning a trip to Kennywood and then complaining about the lines, and then getting some pierogies.
• A true Pittsburgher can tell you the difference between a pierogi and a haluski, and they probably have a family recipe for both.
• They say patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting in line for a Primanti’s sandwich, and then you have to decide if you want fries on it, and then you just get it anyway.

Central PA Charm: Lighthearted Sayings from the Heartland

“Central PA Charm” is your ticket to understanding Pennsylvania’s quirky humor! This collection offers lighthearted sayings straight from the heartland. Forget city slicker jokes; these are folksy phrases, often funny and sometimes a bit odd, that perfectly capture the region’s unique spirit. Prepare to chuckle and maybe even pick up…

• That fella’s got a mind like a pretzel, all twisted up and a little bit salty.
• You know you’re in Central PA when “a quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different farmers markets, just to make sure you get the best whoopie pies, and then a stop at a gas station for some birch beer, and then a debate about which is the best, and then you’re late.
• My Pennsylvania Dutch grandpa says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of scrapple and a whole lot of stubbornness, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed.”
• A Pennsylvanian’s biggest fear isn’t a snowstorm, it’s someone putting ketchup on a soft pretzel, and then asking for directions to Philly.
• That fella’s got a smile like a groundhog peeking out of his burrow, a little bit shy and a little bit unexpected.
• They say everything is flat in Pennsylvania, but have you seen the size of a soft pretzel? It’s practically a mountain range of doughy goodness, and maybe a side of mustard.
• My car’s GPS in Pennsylvania just keeps saying, “You’re near a one-way street, and probably some road construction. Good luck, and watch out for the potholes.”
• You know you’re in Central PA when the local diner has a “Shoofly Pie of the Day” special, and you’re not really sure what it is, but you’re going to try it anyway.
• That fella’s got a mind like a covered bridge, old, sturdy, and a little bit dark inside, and you’re not sure what you’ll find if you try to cross it.
• A Pennsylvanian’s idea of a “light snack” is a soft pretzel with a side of mustard and maybe a whoopie pie, just in case.
• My Pennsylvania Dutch grandma says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of apple butter and a whole lot of patience, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed.”
• You haven’t experienced true Pennsylvania culture until you’ve spent an afternoon trying to navigate a roundabout in Lancaster and then you just give up and go get some shoo-fly pie.
• They say the only thing that grows faster than corn in Central PA is the number of covered bridges, and they’re all beautiful, and mostly in the way of traffic.
• You know you’re in Central PA when a “slight chance of snow” means you should probably invest in a snowblower and a really good pair of boots, and maybe some scrapple, just in case.
• That fella’s got a memory like a soft pretzel, good for a short time, but easily forgotten in a day.

Rural Pennsylvania Wisdom: Farm and Country Sayings

Beyond city jokes, Pennsylvania’s heartland offers “Rural Pennsylvania Wisdom: Farm and Country Sayings.” These aren’t punchlines, but time-tested truths. You’ll hear about weather, planting, and life’s simple lessons, often delivered with a wry smile. It’s a different kind of humor, rooted in experience and nature’s rhythm.

• That fella’s got a mind like a Pennsylvania covered bridge, beautiful on the outside, but a little dark and creaky on the inside.
• You know you’re in Pennsylvania when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a flock of Amish buggies trying to cross the road at the same time, and nobody honks, because everyone knows that’s just how it is.
• That idea is about as likely as a groundhog predicting an early spring, and then actually getting it right.
• My Pennsylvania Dutch grandma says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of scrapple and a whole lot of stubbornness, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just grab a shoo-fly pie and relax a bit.”
• They say everything is flat in Pennsylvania, but have you seen a soft pretzel? It’s a mountain range of doughy goodness, and probably a side of mustard, and maybe a whoopie pie.
• A true Pennsylvanian can tell you the difference between a scrapple and a hog maw, and they probably have a strong opinion about which one is better, and a family recipe to back it up.
• You know you’re from Western PA when “pop” is a perfectly acceptable term for any carbonated beverage, and you’ll defend it to the death, and maybe offer you a pierogi, and a chipped ham sandwich, and then complain about the Steelers.
• They say patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting for your scrapple to get perfectly crispy, but not too crispy, because then it’s ruined, and maybe you should get some apple butter to go with it.
• My neighbor’s rooster thinks he’s a Pennsylvania Dutch barn raiser, and crows at anything that isn’t built with a mortise and tenon joint, and then demands some scrapple.
• You know you’re in Central PA when “a quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different farmers markets, just to make sure you get the best whoopie pies, and then a stop at a gas station for some birch beer, and then a debate about which is the best, and then you’re late.
• That fella’s got a smile like a Lancaster County sunrise, beautiful, but a little bit slow to get going, and maybe a little bit foggy.
• A Pennsylvanian’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on their nicest flannel shirt, a pair of boots that don’t have mud on them, and maybe a baseball cap, and then they’re ready for anything, even a trip to Philly.
• My Pennsylvania GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a one-way street, and probably some road construction. Good luck, and watch out for the potholes, and maybe grab a soft pretzel.”
• A Pennsylvanian’s version of a “traffic jam” is a flock of geese crossing the road during the morning commute, and everyone just patiently waits, and maybe takes a picture for the gram, and then maybe stops for a soft pretzel.
• My favorite Pennsylvania activity? Complaining about the traffic while simultaneously planning a trip to a farmers market, and then complaining about the prices, and then stopping for a soft pretzel.

Pennsylvania Food Jokes: From Hoagies to Scrapple

Pennsylvania’s humor is as unique as its food! “Pennsylvania Food Jokes: From Hoagies to Scrapple” explores the funny side of our iconic eats. We laugh at our love for greasy cheesesteaks and question the mysteries of scrapple. It’s a tasty tour of Pennsylvania sayings and jokes, served with a side…

• A true Pennsylvanian knows that “jimmies” are for ice cream, not a nickname for a friend.
• My car’s GPS in Pennsylvania just keeps saying, “You’re near a one-way street, a roundabout, and a soft pretzel stand. Good luck.”
• They say everything is flat in Pennsylvania, but have you seen the size of a soft pretzel? It’s practically a mountain range of doughy goodness.
• A Pennsylvanian’s biggest fear is someone putting ketchup on a soft pretzel, and then asking for directions to Philly.
• You haven’t experienced true Pennsylvania culture until you’ve spent an afternoon trying to navigate a roundabout in Lancaster and then you just give up and go get some shoofly pie.
• My Pennsylvania Dutch grandma says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of shoofly pie and a whole lot of patience, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just grab a pretzel and relax a bit.”
• You know you’re in Pennsylvania when the local diner has a “Scrapple of the Day” special, and you’re not really sure what it is, but you’re gonna try it anyway, and you’ll probably like it, and then you’ll probably get some apple butter to go with it.
• They say everything is flat in Pennsylvania, but have you seen the size of a soft pretzel? It’s practically a mountain range of doughy goodness, and maybe a side of mustard, and maybe you should get another one.
• A Pennsylvanian’s version of a “traffic jam” is a flock of geese crossing the road during the morning commute, and everyone just patiently waits, and maybe takes a picture for the gram, and then maybe stops for a soft pretzel.
• My favorite Pennsylvania activity? Complaining about the traffic while simultaneously planning a trip to a farmers market, and then complaining about the prices, and then stopping for a soft pretzel and some birch beer.
• My Pennsylvania car has a permanent layer of road salt, a testament to the state’s commitment to battling winter, and the fact that I just don’t wash it, and a few soft pretzels rolling around under the seats.
• A true Pennsylvanian can tell you the difference between a scrapple and a hog maw, and they probably have a strong opinion about which one is better, and a family recipe to back it up.
• A Pennsylvanian’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on their nicest flannel and a pair of boots that don’t have mud on them, and maybe a baseball cap, and then they’re ready for anything, even a trip to Philly.
• A Pennsylvanian’s idea of a “light snack” is a soft pretzel with a side of mustard and maybe a whoopie pie, just in case, and maybe some birch beer.
• A true Philadelphian can tell you the difference between a “wit” and a “wit-out” and they probably have a strong opinion about which is better, and they will defend that opinion until they get a soft pretzel.

Pennsylvania Sports Humor: Tailgate Jokes and Sayings

Pennsylvania sports humor? It’s a whole different ballgame! From tailgate jokes about the Eagles’ latest fumble to quirky sayings about the Steelers’ “Terrible Towel,” we Pennsylvanians find a way to laugh through it all. It’s part of our unique blend of local pride and self-deprecating wit, a true staple of…

• They say the Eagles fly high, but have you seen the price of a parking spot? It’s practically a mortgage.
• A Steelers fan walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Isn’t that a little… black and gold?” The fan replies, “It’s not just a color, it’s a way of life, yinz know?”
• You know you’re at a Phillies game when the only thing louder than the crack of the bat is the sound of someone yelling “Get ’em next time!”
• My therapist told me to find my happy place, so I went to a Penguins game… turns out, it was just a really loud ice rink with a lot of cheering, and I was happy, but also slightly deaf.
• They say a watched pot never boils, but a watched pot of pierogies at a tailgate will make you hungrier than a Steeler at a pre-game buffet.
• That fella’s got a throwing arm like a quarterback, but his mind is like a wide receiver who just dropped the ball.
• You haven’t experienced true Pennsylvania tailgating until you’ve had a full-blown argument with a stranger about the best way to cook a kielbasa, and then shared a beer with them afterward, and then argued about it again.
• My favorite part about a Flyers game? The fights on the ice and the fights in the parking lot, and the overpriced beer.
• A Pennsylvanian’s idea of a “balanced diet” is a soft pretzel in one hand and a chipped ham sandwich in the other, and maybe a pierogi for good measure, and then some birch beer.
• They say a watched pot never boils, but a watched pot of scrapple will make you hungrier than a hungry Steeler, and then you’ll probably need some apple butter.
• That idea is about as likely as the Pirates winning the World Series, or a snow day in July.
• My neighbor’s tailgating setup is so elaborate, it has its own zip code, and a designated parking spot, and a satellite dish.
• The only thing stronger than a Steelers fan’s loyalty is their love of pierogies, and maybe a good parking spot.
• They say the Flyers are fast, but have you ever tried to find a parking spot near the Wells Fargo Center? It’s a contact sport, and you’ll probably need a tetanus shot.
• You know you’re at a real Pennsylvania tailgate when the biggest debate isn’t the game, but whether to put ketchup or mustard on your pierogi, and then you just put both on it, because, why not?