150 Best West Virginia Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear to Believe

Ever heard someone say “Well, I’ll be hornswoggled!” and wondered what on earth they meant? That’s just a taste of the unique charm found in West Virginia. This post dives headfirst into the delightful world of West Virginia sayings and jokes, offering a glimpse into the state’s quirky humor.

From folksy phrases to good-natured ribbing, the Mountain State has a way with words all its own. Get ready to chuckle and maybe even learn a new saying or two as we explore these West Virginia expressions.

Best West Virginia Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear to Believe

• “I’m not saying West Virginia is hilly, but I once saw a squirrel carrying a climbing rope.”
• “Why did the West Virginian bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house… and it was a two-story house.”
• “In West Virginia, ‘Netflix and chill’ is just called ‘front porch sittin’.”
• “My favorite West Virginia exercise? Pushing my car out of the mud.”
• “You know you’re from West Virginia when your ‘high-speed internet’ is the best your neighbor can get.”
• “What’s the most common bird in West Virginia? The one that flies around the holler hollerin’ ‘Look out for the deer!'”
• “A West Virginian asked for a ‘smoothie’ at the diner, and they brought him a glass of moonshine, said it was the smoothest they had.”
• “Why did the West Virginian get lost in the city? He kept looking for a dirt road to turn on.”
• “A West Virginian’s idea of a traffic jam is three cars at the same stop sign.”
• “The West Virginia state bird should be the mosquito. They’re always buzzing around and never seem to leave.”
• “I tried to explain to my West Virginia grandpa what ‘cloud storage’ is. He just looked at me and said, ‘Son, we got attics for that.'”
• “Two West Virginians were arguing about who had the bigger family. One said, ‘I got so many cousins, we play family football games in the holler.’ The other replied, ‘That’s cute, we play family family football games.'”
• “West Virginia’s motto should be, ‘We might not have much cell service, but we sure do have a good view.'”
• “How do you know you’re at a West Virginia wedding? The bride wears camo and the reception is a bonfire.”
• “I went to a West Virginia potluck and asked if they had any vegan options. They looked at me funny and said, ‘We got greens, does that count?'”

West Virginia Sayings: Mountain State Expressions

Diving into “West Virginia Sayings: Mountain State Expressions” is like unlocking a treasure chest of Appalachian charm. It’s more than just words; it’s the heart and humor of West Virginians. From folksy wisdom to playful jabs, these sayings offer a genuine glimpse into the culture, perfectly complementing the jokes and…

• That fella’s got a mind like a winding mountain road, you never know where it’s going, and it might take you for a loop.
• In West Virginia, “Netflix and chill” is just called “front porch sittin’ with a jar of moonshine”.
• Bless your heart, you’re sweating like a coal miner on a hot day, you probably need a nap and a glass of sweet tea.
• That’s about as likely as finding a parking spot at a Mountaineers game.
• You know you’re in West Virginia when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a herd of deer crossing the road, and everyone just waits.
• My West Virginia GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a holler. Good luck.”
• That’s about as useful as a snow shovel in July in the mountains, or a cell phone with no service.
• Heard about the West Virginia squirrel that tried to learn to yodel? It ended with a lot of chirping and a very confused owl.
• A West Virginian’s idea of a “quick trip” is a two-hour drive to the next town, and then a stop for some pepperoni rolls.
• My West Virginia weather app just suggested I learn how to play the banjo, “just in case,” and maybe learn to do a little flatfooting, too.
• He’s got more twists than a pepperoni roll, and you never know what’s coming next, and probably a story about the time he wrestled a bear.
• They say West Virginia is full of hills, but I think it’s mostly just a lot of winding roads and a whole lot of pepperoni rolls.
• If you don’t like the weather in West Virginia, just wait five minutes, or maybe five hours, or maybe until next week, and in the meantime, just grab a pepperoni roll.
• “Well, I’ll be a coal miner’s mule,” she said, “that’s the dangdest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a possum try to drive a tractor.”
• That fella’s got a smile like a West Virginia sunrise, beautiful but a little bit foggy, and you know he’s probably about to tell you a long story, and maybe offer you a pepperoni roll.

Funny West Virginia Jokes: Humor in the Hills

Looking for a good laugh, West Virginia style? “Funny West Virginia Jokes: Humor in the Hills” dives deep into the state’s unique brand of wit. From quirky mountain life to relatable small-town scenarios, these jokes capture the essence of West Virginia’s sayings and humor. It’s a perfect collection for anyone…

• That fella’s got a mind like a winding mountain road, you never know where it’s going and you might end up back where you started.
• If you ain’t been stuck behind a coal truck, have you even lived in West Virginia?
• My GPS in West Virginia just says, “You’re near a holler, good luck findin’ your way.”
• West Virginia weather is like a surprise grab bag: you never know if you’re gonna get a sunny day or a downpour, and maybe some snow, all in the same hour.
• “Netflix and chill” in West Virginia is called “front porch sittin’ with a jar of moonshine, and maybe a good story.”
• That’s about as likely as finding a flat piece of land in West Virginia, or a tourist who knows how to pronounce “Appalachia”.
• They say the hills have eyes, but mostly they’re just lookin’ for a good place to grow ramps.
• You know you’re in West Virginia when the local radio station plays more bluegrass than actual news, and everyone knows all the words, and they’re probably all about coal mining, and maybe a lost love, and maybe a good view.
• A West Virginia speed chase is just a couple of ATVs trying to outrun each other on a muddy trail, and maybe a couple of dogs, and maybe a few chickens.
• My West Virginia neighbor says they don’t need a map, they just follow the sound of a banjo and the smell of pepperoni rolls, and maybe a little bit of moonshine.
• “Well, I’ll be a mud-covered mountain goat, that’s the dangdest thing I’ve seen all week, and I’ve seen a squirrel try to climb a telephone pole with a pepperoni roll.”
• West Virginia: where the traffic jams are caused by a herd of deer crossing the road, and everyone just patiently waits, and maybe takes a picture, and then they keep going.
• That fella’s got a smile like a WV sunset, beautiful but a little bit hazy, and you just know he’s about to tell you a story that will probably take all day.
• If you’re lost in West Virginia, just follow the sound of a banjo, you’ll either find your way or a really good time, and maybe some moonshine, and maybe some pepperoni rolls.
• “Our state bird should be the firefly, they’re always puttin’ on a good show and lighting up the hollers.”

Unique West Virginia Sayings: Local Lingo Explained

Ever wondered what “hollers” or “red up” really mean? Dive into “Unique West Virginia Sayings: Local Lingo Explained” to uncover the charm behind our mountain talk. It’s a fun guide within our broader collection of West Virginia Sayings and Jokes, helping you understand the wit and wisdom behind our unique…

• That fella’s got a mind like a coal mine, dark, dusty, and full of unexpected turns.
• If you ain’t been stuck behind a logging truck, have you even lived in West Virginia?
• Bless your heart, you’re about as likely to find a flat road in West Virginia as you are to see a bear wearing a toupee.
• My GPS in West Virginia just keeps saying, “Turn left at the next holler, and then follow the sound of a banjo, good luck.”
• West Virginia: Where our biggest debates are about whether pepperoni rolls are better baked or fried, and if we should put slaw on a hot dog.
• That’s about as likely as a squirrel learning to yodel, and then actually getting a record deal, and then winning a Grammy and then going to a pepperoni roll eating contest.
• “Netflix and chill” in West Virginia is just called “sitting on the porch with a jar of moonshine, and maybe a good story.”
• That fella’s got a voice as smooth as moonshine, and a story to go with it, but you might need a few days to hear the whole thing.
• “Well, I’ll be a mud-covered mountain goat, that’s the dangdest thing I’ve seen all day, and I’ve seen a squirrel try to drive a tractor.”
• If you don’t like the weather in West Virginia, just wait five minutes, or just drive to the next holler, it’ll probably be different there, and probably involve a different kind of rain.
• A West Virginia traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of pickup trucks, and everyone’s waving, and probably headed to the same bluegrass festival.
• A West Virginian’s idea of a “quick trip” is a two-hour drive through the mountains, and then a stop for some pepperoni rolls, and then a long discussion about the best way to make them.
• That’s about as likely as finding a parking spot in the state capital during a festival, or a day where it doesn’t rain at least twice.
• West Virginia weather forecast: “Expect a little bit of everything, and maybe some fog, and probably a rainbow, and then some more rain, and a little bit of sun, and some more rain, and then maybe some snow, and then maybe a little bit of sunshine.”
• My West Virginia grandma says, “If you can’t fix it with a little bit of moonshine and a whole lot of elbow grease, it probably wasn’t meant to be fixed, and maybe you should just grab a pepperoni roll and relax a bit, and maybe tell a good story about the hills.”

West Virginia Jokes About Nature: Wild and Wonderful Humor

West Virginia’s humor, like its landscape, is wild and wonderful. You’ll find plenty of jokes about the state’s untamed nature, from mischievous critters to unpredictable weather. It’s a playful way to celebrate their rugged beauty, with sayings and stories that capture the spirit of the Mountain State.

• “If you don’t like the weather in West Virginia, just wait five minutes, it’ll change, and probably involve some fog.”
• “The only thing more unpredictable than a West Virginia backroad is a West Virginia weather forecast.”
• “West Virginia: Where our hills have their own personalities, and they’re all a little bit stubborn.”
• “A West Virginia sunset is so beautiful, it’ll make you forget about the potholes, until you hit one on the way home.”
• “Our version of a ‘speed chase’ is a squirrel trying to outrun a falling hickory nut, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win, and then they’ll all go get some pepperoni rolls.”
• “That West Virginia fog is so thick, you could cut it with a knife, but you’d probably get lost trying to find your way back home.”
• “West Virginia: Where the mountains are high, the hollers are low, and the cell service is always a little bit spotty, and you should probably grab a pepperoni roll while you wait for a signal.”
• “If you’re not careful, a West Virginia mountain trail will hug you like a long-lost relative, and then leave you wondering where you parked, and then you’ll probably just go get some pepperoni rolls.”
• “A West Virginia rainstorm is just nature’s way of giving the hills a good bath, and the rhododendrons are just loving it, and maybe you should grab a pepperoni roll, and just wait it out.”
• “The only thing more common than a deer on a West Virginia road is a logging truck, and you should probably just be ready for both.”
• “West Virginia: Where we don’t have ‘bad hair days,’ we have ‘mountain hair’ days, and we wear it with pride, and maybe a bandana, and maybe some hairspray, just in case it gets windy, and maybe a pepperoni roll, too.”
• “Our idea of a ‘quick hike’ is a leisurely stroll through the woods, stopping to admire every wildflower, and then ending up on a mountain top with a breathtaking view, and then probably going to get some pepperoni rolls.”
• “They say the hills have eyes, but mostly they’re just lookin’ for a good place to grow ramps, and maybe some moonshine, and maybe some pepperoni rolls.”
• “A West Virginia breeze is like a friendly ghost, it’s always a little bit unexpected, and might try to steal your hat, and probably leaves you feeling a little bit damp, and you should probably get some pepperoni rolls to make you feel better.”
• “If you’re not careful, a West Virginia fog will hug you like a long-lost relative and then leave you wondering which way you were going, and then you should probably stop for a pepperoni roll.”

Regional West Virginia Sayings: Dialects and Phrases

West Virginia’s charm shines through its unique sayings! “Holler” might mean valley, and “poke” could be a bag. It’s a colorful language all its own, adding a special flavor to our jokes and stories. Understanding these regional dialects unlocks a deeper appreciation for the Mountain State’s humor and heritage.

• That fella’s got a mind like a coal mine, dark, deep, and full of unexpected things, and you’re never quite sure what you’ll find down there, and maybe a few bats.
• “Well, I’ll be a mud-covered mountain goat” is a good way to start any conversation, and then you should probably grab a pepperoni roll.
• You know you’re in West Virginia when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a herd of deer crossing the road, and everyone just patiently waits, and maybe takes a picture, and then they all head to the nearest pepperoni roll shop.
• That’s about as likely as a squirrel learning to yodel, and then getting a gig at a bluegrass festival.
• If you don’t like the weather in West Virginia, just wait five minutes… or drive over the next ridge, it’ll probably be different.
• “Faster than a whippoorwill on a summer night” is how we describe anything that moves quickly, and maybe you should grab a glass of moonshine.
• They say the hills have eyes, but mostly they’re just lookin’ for a good place to grow ramps, and maybe some moonshine.
• “If you can hear the banjo, you’re probably close to home, and maybe a good time, and a pepperoni roll.”
• My West Virginia GPS just keeps saying, “Turn left at the next holler, and then follow the sound of a banjo, and watch out for the deer, and maybe a bear. Good luck.”
• “He’s got more twists than a pepperoni roll, and you never know what’s coming next, and probably a story about the time he wrestled a bear.”
• “Our state bird should be the pepperoni roll, it’s everywhere, and always delicious, and probably better fried.”
• A West Virginia minute is like a regular minute, but it takes a little longer, and probably involves a story about the mountains, and a recommendation for a good pepperoni roll shop.
• “You know you’re from West Virginia when your ‘high-speed internet’ is the best your neighbor can get, and maybe you should just go outside and admire the view, and maybe grab a pepperoni roll.”
• A West Virginia speed chase is just a couple of ATVs trying to outrun each other on a muddy trail, and maybe a couple of dogs, and maybe some chickens, and maybe a lot of laughter.
• “That’s about as likely as finding a flat road in West Virginia, or someone who doesn’t like pepperoni rolls, and maybe you should just go get one, and then tell me about it.”

West Virginia Jokes About Country Life: Rural Wit

West Virginia humor shines bright in its rural wit. Jokes about country life are a staple, poking fun at everything from slow tractors to quirky neighbors. These aren’t just jokes; they’re a celebration of a simpler way of life, delivered with a hearty laugh and a touch of self-deprecation. It’s…

• That fella’s got a mind like a coal seam, full of dark pockets and unexpected shifts.
• You know you’re in West Virginia when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a flock of wild turkeys crossing the road, and everyone just patiently waits, because that’s just how it is, and maybe they’ll all try to get a better picture.
• My West Virginia GPS just keeps saying, “Turn left at the next holler, and then follow the sound of a banjo, and watch out for the deer, and maybe a bear, and maybe a logging truck, and definitely some potholes, and good luck with that.”
• That’s about as likely as a squirrel learning to drive a pickup truck, and then actually getting a license, and then finding a parking spot in Charleston, and then getting a pepperoni roll.
• West Virginia weather: If you don’t like it, wait five minutes, or drive over the next mountain, and it’ll probably be different, and maybe worse, and then maybe you should just go get a pepperoni roll.
• “Well, I’ll be a mud-covered mountain goat,” she said, “that’s about the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a coon try to play the fiddle, and a deer try to parallel park a pickup truck.”
• They say the hills have eyes, but mostly they’re just watching you try to parallel park on a steep incline, and then they’re probably laughing about it.
• A West Virginian’s idea of a “quick trip” is a two-hour drive down a winding mountain road, and then a stop for some pepperoni rolls, and maybe a little bit of moonshine, and then a long conversation about the weather.
• My neighbor’s rooster thinks he’s a coal miner, and crows at anything that looks like a hard hat, and then demands a pepperoni roll, and then takes a nap.
• That fella’s got a voice as smooth as moonshine, and a story to go with it, but you might need a few days to hear the whole thing, and you should probably grab a rocking chair.
• They say the best things in life are free, and in West Virginia, that includes a good view of the mountains, and a little bit of fog, and a story about a bear that got into the garbage.
• “If you’re not careful, a West Virginia mountain trail will hug you like a long-lost relative, and then leave you wondering where you parked, and then you’ll probably just go get some pepperoni rolls to make you feel better.”
• “That’s about as useful as a screen door on a moonshine still, and twice as likely to get you in trouble with the revenuers.”
• “In West Virginia, ‘Netflix and chill’ is just called ‘front porch sittin’ with a jar of moonshine and maybe some good company, and maybe a good story, and maybe some more moonshine.”
• A West Virginia speed chase is just a couple of ATVs trying to outrun each other on a muddy trail, and maybe a couple of dogs, and maybe some chickens, and maybe a lot of laughter.

Common West Virginia Sayings: Everyday Expressions

West Virginia’s charm isn’t just in its mountains; it’s in its colorful language! “Holler” isn’t just a place, it’s a way to call out, and folks might say “fixin’ to” instead of “about to.” These everyday expressions, woven into our jokes and stories, give a real taste of the Mountain…

• That fella’s got a mind like a winding mountain road, scenic but you might end up in a ditch.
• “Well, I’ll be a mud-covered possum,” she said, “that’s the dangdest thing I’ve ever seen.”
• A West Virginia traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of ATVs and pickup trucks, and everyone is waving.
• You know you’re from West Virginia when a “quick drive” involves at least three hairpin turns and a stop for pepperoni rolls.
• Heard about the West Virginia squirrel that tried to learn to play the banjo? He got all tangled up in the strings and just gave up and went back to the bird feeder.
• “That’s about as likely as finding a flat spot in the mountains, or cell service in the holler.”
• If you’re lost in West Virginia, just follow the sound of a banjo and the smell of pepperoni rolls, you’ll either find your way or a good time.
• My West Virginia weather app just says, “Expect the unexpected, and maybe some fog, and definitely some rain, and maybe some snow, and maybe some sunshine, and maybe just stay inside and grab a pepperoni roll.”
• “They say the hills have eyes, but mostly they’re just lookin’ for a good place to grow ramps, and maybe some moonshine, and maybe some pepperoni rolls.”
• My West Virginia GPS just keeps saying, “Turn left at the next holler, and then follow the sound of a banjo, and watch out for the deer, and maybe a bear, and maybe a logging truck, and then good luck.”
• “That’s about as useful as a screen door on a coal mine, or a snow shovel in July, or maybe a map of the hollows.”
• “If you don’t like the weather in West Virginia, just wait five minutes, it’ll change, and probably involve some fog, and probably some more rain, and then maybe a little bit of sunshine, and then maybe some more rain, and then maybe you should just go get a pepperoni roll.”
• West Virginia drivers believe that the speed limit is just a suggestion, especially when they’re on their way to a pepperoni roll shop.
• “Our state bird should be the pepperoni roll, it’s everywhere, and always delicious, and probably better fried.”
• “That fella’s got more twists than a pepperoni roll, and you never know what’s coming next, and probably a story about the time he wrestled a bear.”

West Virginia Jokes: Poking Fun at the Culture

West Virginia humor often playfully teases the state’s unique culture. From “almost heaven” jokes to friendly jabs about mountain living, these sayings and jokes are a way for West Virginians to laugh at themselves and connect with their shared experiences. It’s a blend of self-deprecation and genuine pride that makes…

• That fella’s got a mind like a winding mountain road, you never know where it’s going or if you’ll ever get there.
• If you’re not careful, the fog will hug you like a long-lost relative and then leave you wondering where you parked, and then you should probably just get a pepperoni roll to make you feel better.
• A West Virginia speed chase is just a couple of ATVs trying to outrun each other on a muddy trail and a few dogs, and maybe some chickens.
• My GPS in West Virginia has started giving up and now just suggests I follow the sound of a banjo.
• “Well, I’ll be a mud-covered mountain goat,” she said, “that’s the dangdest thing I’ve seen all week, and I’ve seen a squirrel try to climb a telephone pole with a pepperoni roll.”
• West Virginia weather is like a surprise party you didn’t ask for, and you didn’t bring a gift for, and you’re not sure if you want to be there, and you should probably grab a pepperoni roll.
• If you don’t like the weather in West Virginia, just wait five minutes, it’ll probably change, and probably involve some fog, and maybe some more rain, and then maybe some sunshine.
• “Our state bird should be the pepperoni roll, it’s everywhere, and always delicious, and probably better fried.”
• That’s about as useful as a screen door on a coal mine, or a snow shovel in July, or a map of the hollows.
• In West Virginia, “Netflix and chill” is just called “front porch sittin’.”
• My West Virginia weather app just says, “Expect the unexpected, and maybe some fog, and definitely some rain, and maybe some snow, and maybe some sunshine.”
• My West Virginia GPS just keeps saying, “Turn left at the next holler, and then follow the sound of a banjo, and watch out for the deer, and maybe a bear.”
• A West Virginian’s idea of a “quick trip” is a two-hour drive to the next town, and then a stop for some pepperoni rolls.
• You know you’re in West Virginia when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a herd of deer crossing the road, and everyone just patiently waits, because that’s just how it is.
• “You think your pepperoni roll is good? Come to West Virginia, we’ll show you what a real roll is like, and maybe tell you a story about the time we wrestled a bear.”