150 Best Fort Worth Sayings and Jokes You Need to Know

Ever heard someone in Fort Worth say “fixin’ to” and wondered what it meant? The city has a unique charm, and that extends to its language! We’re diving into the heart of Cowtown to explore some hilarious and distinctly Fort Worth sayings and jokes.

Get ready to chuckle and maybe even learn a new phrase or two. From playful jabs about Dallas to genuine expressions of local pride, these Fort Worth sayings offer a glimpse into the city’s personality.

Let’s unpack the wit and wisdom of Fort Worth, one punchline and localism at a time.

Best Fort Worth Sayings and Jokes You Need to Know

• You know you’re from Fort Worth when you consider a 15-minute drive “just around the corner.”
• Why did the armadillo cross the road in Fort Worth? To prove he wasn’t chicken… or roadkill yet.
• Fort Worth weather is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get… or how many times it’ll change in an hour.
• A tourist asked, “What’s the best way to see Fort Worth?” A local replied, “In a big pickup, with the windows down, blasting some George Strait.”
• I tried to explain the Stockyards to my friend from New York. I said, “Picture Broadway, but with more cows and less singing…mostly bellowing.”
• Heard a guy in Sundance Square complain about his coffee being too weak. “This ain’t coffee,” he said, “it’s just hot, lightly-flavored water with a dream.”
• My Fort Worth diet consists of tacos, barbecue, and the occasional salad… to keep things interesting.
• What’s a Fort Worth resident’s favorite type of music? Anything that sounds good on a Friday night at Billy Bob’s.
• My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes, so I went to the rodeo and tried to ride a bull.
• A true Fort Worthian knows the difference between a real cowboy and someone just wearing a hat. The real ones have dirt on their boots and a story in their eyes.
• Why don’t they play poker in the Stockyards? Because there are too many steers at stake.
• In Fort Worth, we don’t say “goodbye,” we say “See ya later, and don’t get lost on I-35.”
• A newcomer asked, “Is Fort Worth a big city?” I said, “It’s big enough to have a little bit of everything, but small enough that you’ll probably run into your neighbor at HEB.”
• I saw a tumbleweed rolling down Main Street the other day. Felt right at home.
• A sign in Fort Worth: “Welcome to Fort Worth, where the ‘howdy’ is genuine and the tea is sweet.”

Fort Worth Sayings: A Unique Local Lexicon

Ever wondered what “fixin’ to” really means? Fort Worth Sayings and Jokes reveals the city’s quirky charm through its unique language. “Hollering” at someone might mean something different here, and you’ll learn why. Dive into our local lexicon – it’s more than just words; it’s a glimpse into Fort Worth’s…

• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when you can give directions using only the names of steakhouses, honky-tonks, and the general direction of the Stockyards.
• I tried to order a small coffee in Fort Worth, they handed me a boot filled to the brim, and then asked if I wanted it with a shot of whiskey.
• “Fort Worth traffic: where ‘a few minutes away’ means you’re either already there or you’re still in the next county.”
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner cowboy, so I bought a hat, some boots, and started saying “howdy” to my feelings, y’all.
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a ‘quick trip’ is a leisurely drive to three different barbecue places, just to compare the brisket, ribs, and sausage, and then maybe a stop at a honky tonk.
• I tried to have a moment of zen by the Trinity River, but a herd of longhorns showed up and started a stampede, and I had to join in.
• You know you’re a true Fort Worthian when you can navigate the Stockyards on a Saturday night with a beer in one hand and a plate of barbecue in the other.
• Fort Worth dating: where the first question is always “What’s your favorite barbecue joint?” and the second is “Do you know how to two-step?”
• I’m not saying the portions are big, but my plate of chicken fried steak had its own gravitational pull, and a side of Texas toast the size of a small pillow.
• Why did the tumbleweed cross the road in Fort Worth? To get to the other side, where the barbecue was even better, and the country music was a little louder.
• A tourist asked me if everyone in Fort Worth wears cowboy boots. I said, “Only on days that end in ‘y’, and sometimes on Mondays, just for fun.”
• My car’s GPS in Fort Worth now just says, “Prepare for a detour, because why not? And maybe grab some barbecue.”
• You know you’ve met a Fort Worthian when they can name all the best honky-tonks faster than they can find a parking spot in the Stockyards.
• Fort Worth weather is like a country song, it can be beautiful, a little sad, and sometimes a little bit wild.
• I tried to have a healthy meal in Fort Worth, but the siren song of chicken fried steak was too strong, and my diet was foiled again.

Fort Worth Jokes: Humor with a Cowtown Twist

Looking for a laugh, Fort Worth style? “Fort Worth Jokes: Humor with a Cowtown Twist” delivers chuckles steeped in local flavor. From cattle drives to friendly rivalries, this collection captures the city’s unique spirit. It’s more than just jokes; it’s a taste of Fort Worth’s playful personality, a perfect addition…

• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when your idea of a balanced meal is a steak in one hand and a barbecue rib in the other.
• I tried to order a small coffee in Fort Worth, and they handed me a cattle trough with a tiny straw.
• Fort Worth traffic is like a two-step; it’s slow, but eventually, you get where you’re going.
• A tourist asked me what the best way to see Fort Worth was; I told them, “Get in your truck, turn on some country, and just drive, you’ll find it.”
• My car’s GPS in Fort Worth now just says, “Prepare for a detour, because why not, and maybe grab some barbecue, and a beer, and check out the stockyards.”
• You know you’re a Fort Worth local when you can navigate the Stockyards on a Saturday night with a cowboy hat, boots, and a plate of ribs in hand.
• Fort Worth dating: where the first question is always, “What’s your favorite honky-tonk?” and the second is, “Can you two-step?”
• My apartment is so small, I have to go to the Stockyards to feel like I have some space to roam.
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and that includes the belt buckles, the cowboy hats, and the number of times you hear “howdy” in a single conversation in Fort Worth.
• I tried to order a salad at a Fort Worth restaurant, and the waiter looked at me like I’d just asked for a unicorn.
• Fort Worth weather is like a rodeo; it can be beautiful, a little wild, and sometimes it just throws you off.
• A newcomer asked, “Is Fort Worth a big city?” I said, “It’s big enough to have a little bit of everything, but small enough that you’ll probably run into your neighbor at the rodeo, at the honky tonk, or at the barbecue joint.”
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner cowboy, so I started wearing boots to therapy and saying, “Howdy” to my feelings, and then asked if they wanted to go to a rodeo.
• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when you consider a 15-minute drive across town “just around the corner,” and that 15 minute drive ends up being an hour because of traffic.
• Fort Worth: where “a quick trip” is a leisurely drive to three different barbecue places, just to compare the brisket.

Classic Fort Worth Sayings: Timeless Local Phrases

Dive into the heart of Fort Worth with “Classic Fort Worth Sayings.” These aren’t just words; they’re the city’s spirit, passed down through generations. From friendly greetings to good-natured ribbing, these phrases, alongside our local jokes, paint a vivid picture of Cowtown’s unique character. They’re more than just sayings; they’re…

• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when your GPS just says, “Head towards the Stockyards, you’ll find something good.”
• In Fort Worth, “a little bit of country” is a lifestyle, not a song lyric.
• I tried to order a small steak in Fort Worth, they brought me a whole cow, still mooing.
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a quick trip to the store involves stopping at three different barbecue joints along the way.
• My car’s GPS in Fort Worth now just says, “Prepare for a detour, because why not? And maybe grab some barbecue.”
• Fort Worth weather: where the forecast is “mostly sunny with a chance of needing a cowboy hat.”
• You haven’t truly lived until you’ve seen a Fort Worthian two-step while simultaneously eating a plate of ribs.
• A Fort Worthian’s favorite pastime is complaining about Dallas traffic, while secretly enjoying the drive to the Stockyards.
• You know you’re in Fort Worth when the phrase “Howdy, y’all” is used more than “Hello.”
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, especially the portions and the belt buckles in Fort Worth.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Texan, so I started wearing cowboy boots to therapy and saying “Howdy” to my feelings, and then asked if they wanted to go to a honky-tonk, and then we went to get some barbeque.
• Fort Worth dating: where the first question is always, “What’s your favorite honky-tonk?” and the second is, “Can you two-step, and do you like barbeque?”
• A tourist asked me where the best place to see a real cowboy was, I just pointed in any direction in Fort Worth and said “Take your pick.”
• I tried to have a quiet evening in Fort Worth, but the sound of live country music and the smell of barbecue had other plans.
• Fort Worth: Where “a few minutes away” means you’re either already there, or you’re still in the next county, and it’s probably because you stopped for some barbeque.

Fort Worth Jokes About the Stockyards: Laughing at Tradition

Fort Worth folks love a good laugh, especially about the Stockyards! You’ll hear jokes about the “cowboys” who’ve never seen a real herd, or the tourists bewildered by the cattle drive. It’s all in good fun, a way to poke at our own traditions while celebrating the city’s unique, slightly…

• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a quick trip to the Stockyards is a leisurely drive that involves at least three stops for barbecue.
• I tried to have a quiet moment in the Stockyards, but a longhorn decided to photobomb my selfie.
• You know you’re in Fort Worth when you can identify the smell of the Stockyards from five miles away.
• My GPS in Fort Worth now just says, “Head towards the sound of country music and the smell of barbecue, you’re almost there.”
• A tourist asked me if the Stockyards were always this busy; I told them, “Only on days that end in ‘y’, and sometimes when there’s a good rodeo.”
• They say Fort Worth has a rich history, and you can smell it at the Stockyards.
• I tried to order a small drink at the Stockyards; they handed me a cowboy boot filled with sweet tea.
• A Fort Worthian’s favorite game? Spotting the tourist wearing the least authentic cowboy hat at the Stockyards.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner cowboy, so I went to the Stockyards and tried to ride a bull.
• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when you can two-step better than you can walk a straight line after a few beers at the Stockyards.
• I’m not saying the portions are big at the Stockyards, but my plate of ribs needed its own zip code and a small herd to carry it.
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a balanced diet is a plate of barbecue in one hand and a beer in the other, preferably at the Stockyards.
• My car now has a Fort Worth accent; it only makes right turns and says “Howdy, y’all” to other cars, then asks if they’re headed to the Stockyards.
• You know you’re a true Fort Worthian when you can give directions using only the names of steakhouses, honky-tonks, and the general direction of the Stockyards, and then say “Bless your heart.”
• Why did the chicken cross the road in the Stockyards? To get to the other side where the barbecue was even better, and the country music was even louder.

Modern Fort Worth Sayings: New Phrases in the Metroplex

Fort Worth’s got a new flavor of funny! We’re not just saying “Howdy” anymore. Listen for phrases like “that’s so 820” meaning outdated or “getting my Panther City on” when going out. Our unique metroplex experiences are birthing fresh sayings, adding a modern twist to our classic Fort Worth humor….

• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when your idea of a “quick trip” involves at least one stop for brisket and a detour through the Stockyards.
• In Fort Worth, “a little bit of traffic” means you’re only 10 minutes behind schedule, and you still have time for a sweet tea.
• My GPS in Fort Worth now just says, “Prepare for a sudden urge to wear a cowboy hat and listen to some George Strait.”
• I tried to order a vegan meal in Fort Worth; the waiter just handed me a bowl of lettuce and a side-eye.
• Fort Worth dating: where the first question is always, “What’s your favorite honky-tonk?” and the second is, “Do you own a pair of boots?”
• A Fort Worthian’s favorite exercise is two-stepping, and their favorite recovery drink is a cold Shiner Bock.
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, especially the portions and the belt buckles at the Stockyards.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner cowboy, so I showed up to my next appointment on a horse, wearing a hat and boots and asked if they wanted to go two stepping.
• Fort Worth weather forecast: Sunny with a chance of needing a cowboy hat, and maybe a sudden urge for barbecue.
• You know you’re a true Fort Worthian when you can identify the exact cut of steak just by looking at it from across the room.
• A tourist asked me what the best way to get around Fort Worth was, I told them, “Get yourself a truck, turn on some country, and just follow the smell of barbecue.”
• My car’s GPS in Fort Worth now just says, “Head towards the Stockyards, you’ll find something good, and maybe a honky tonk too.”
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of ribs, a side of brisket, and a large sweet tea.
• I tried to have a bad day in Fort Worth, but then someone held the door open for me and said, “Howdy,” and it was hard to stay grumpy.
• Fort Worth: Where “bless your heart” is a term of endearment, and “y’all” is a universal greeting, and barbecue is a way of life.

Fort Worth Jokes: Poking Fun at Local Rivalries

Fort Worth folks love a good laugh, especially when it involves poking fun at our friendly rivalries. You’ll hear jokes about Dallas, Arlington, or even specific neighborhoods, all in good-spirited fun. It’s part of our local charm, a way we bond and express our unique Fort Worth identity through playful…

• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a “quick trip” to Dallas is a full day affair that involves at least three barbecue stops and a detailed analysis of which city has better traffic.
• You know you’re in Fort Worth when you hear someone say “Howdy” followed by a detailed explanation of the proper way to two-step.
• My therapist told me to find my inner cowboy, so I went to the Stockyards and tried to negotiate a trade with a longhorn.
• Fort Worth: Where a “little bit of traffic” means you’re only 10 minutes behind schedule, and you still have time for a sweet tea, and maybe a quick stop at a honky tonk.
• I tried to order a kale salad in Fort Worth; they handed me a plate of brisket and said, “Bless your heart, you must be lost.”
• You haven’t truly lived until you’ve seen a Fort Worthian navigate the Stockyards on a Saturday night with a beer in one hand and a plate of ribs in the other, and then two-step around a pile of manure.
• A tourist asked me what the best way to get around Fort Worth was, I said, “Get yourself a truck, turn on some country, and just follow the smell of barbecue.”
• Fort Worth weather is like a country song; it can be beautiful, a little sad, and sometimes a little bit wild, and you’ll always need a hat.
• I’m not saying the portions are big in Fort Worth, but my plate of chicken fried steak came with its own postcode and a side of Texas-sized toast.
• Why don’t they play poker in the Stockyards? Because there are too many steers at stake and the risk of someone calling with a hand full of aces and a loaded six-shooter.
• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when you measure distance in how many honky-tonks you have to pass to get to your destination.
• My car now has a Fort Worth accent; it only makes right turns and says “Howdy, y’all” to other cars, then asks if they know where the best barbeque is.
• In Fort Worth, “a little bit of rain” means you might need to pull over and wait it out, or just keep driving, it’s probably going to be sunny in five minutes, and you’ll need a hat again.
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of brisket, a side of coleslaw, and a large sweet tea, and maybe some banana pudding.
• Fort Worth: Where the question isn’t “What’s for dinner?” but “Which barbecue joint are we hitting up tonight, and do they have live music?”

Understanding Fort Worth Sayings: Cultural Insights

Fort Worth sayings are a hilarious window into our culture. More than just jokes, they reveal our history, values, and that unique Fort Worth swagger. Understanding these phrases offers a peek into the heart of Cowtown, connecting you to the locals and our shared experiences. It’s like learning a secret…

• You know you’re a true Fort Worthian when you can give directions using only the names of honky-tonks, barbecue joints, and the general direction of the Stockyards, and then say “bless your heart” for good measure.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Texan, so I bought a hat, some boots, and started saying “howdy” to my feelings, and then asked if they wanted to go two-stepping.
• I tried to order a small coffee in Fort Worth; they handed me a cowboy boot filled to the brim and a side of Texas toast.
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a ‘quick trip’ is a leisurely drive to three different barbecue places, just to compare the brisket, and then maybe a stop at the Stockyards.
• My car now has a Fort Worth accent; it only makes right turns and says “Howdy, y’all” to other cars, then asks if they know where the best live music is.
• Fort Worth dating: where the first question is always “What’s your favorite honky-tonk?” and the second is, “Can you two-step?”
• I tried to have a bad day in Fort Worth, but then someone held the door open for me and said “Howdy,” and it was hard to stay grumpy.
• Fort Worth weather is like a country song: it can be beautiful, a little sad, and sometimes a little bit wild, and you’ll always need a hat.
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, especially the portions and the belt buckles at the Stockyards.
• I’m not saying the portions are big, but my plate of chicken fried steak came with its own postcode and a side of Texas-sized toast.
• A tourist asked me what the best way to get around Fort Worth was; I told them, “Get yourself a truck, turn on some country, and just follow the smell of barbecue.”
• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when you can navigate the Stockyards on a Saturday night with a beer in one hand and a plate of ribs in the other, and then two-step around a pile of manure.
• Fort Worth traffic: where “a few minutes away” means you’re either already there, or you’re still in the next county, and it’s probably because you stopped for some barbeque.
• Fort Worth: Where “a little bit of traffic” means you’re only 10 minutes behind schedule, and you still have time for a sweet tea, and maybe a quick stop at a honky-tonk.
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a balanced meal is a steak in one hand and a barbecue rib in the other, preferably at the Stockyards, with a large sweet tea.

Fort Worth Jokes and the Texas Spirit: Big Laughs in Cowtown

Fort Worth’s jokes are as big as Texas itself, reflecting the city’s proud “Cowtown” heritage. From playful jabs about cattle drives to witty spins on the Texas lifestyle, these sayings capture the Fort Worth spirit. It’s a blend of down-to-earth humor and self-aware pride, all delivered with a hearty laugh.

• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when your GPS defaults to the Stockyards, even when you’re trying to go to the grocery store.
• I tried to order a small coffee in Fort Worth, they gave me a Stetson full of it and a side of Texas toast.
• A Fort Worthian’s idea of a balanced breakfast is a plate of chicken fried steak and a side of grits, with a sweet tea chaser.
• My car’s GPS in Fort Worth now just says, “Prepare for a detour, because why not? And maybe grab some barbecue, and a beer, and check out a honky tonk.”
• Fort Worth: Where “a few minutes away” means you’re either already there, or you’re still in the next county, and it’s probably because you stopped for some barbeque and live music.
• I tried to have a bad day in Fort Worth, but then someone held the door open for me and said, “Howdy,” and it was hard to stay grumpy, and then I stopped for some barbeque.
• You know you’re a Fort Worthian when you can give directions using only the names of steakhouses, honky-tonks, and the general direction of the Stockyards, and then tell them to “have a blessed day”.
• A tourist asked me what the best way to get around Fort Worth was, I told them, “Get yourself a truck, turn on some country, and just follow the smell of barbecue.”
• Fort Worth weather is like a country song; it can be beautiful, a little sad, and sometimes a little bit wild, and you’ll always need a hat, boots, and a good attitude.
• My car now has a Fort Worth accent; it only makes right turns and says “Howdy, y’all” to other cars, then asks if they know where the best live music is.
• A Fort Worthian’s favorite game? Spotting the tourist wearing the least authentic cowboy hat at the Stockyards, and then offering to help them find a better one.
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and that includes the belt buckles, the cowboy hats, and the number of times you hear “howdy” in a single conversation in Fort Worth, especially when you’re ordering barbeque.
• Why did the tumbleweed cross the road in Fort Worth? To get to the other side, where the barbecue was even better, and the country music was a little louder, and there was a honky tonk with an open dance floor.
• You haven’t truly lived until you’ve seen a Fort Worthian two-step while simultaneously eating a plate of ribs, and then tipping their hat, and saying “Howdy” to a stranger.
• Fort Worth dating: where the first question is always “What’s your favorite honky-tonk?” and the second is, “Can you two-step, and do you like barbeque?”