150 Best Austin Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear to Fit In

Ever feel like you need a translator when talking to a true Austinite? From “Keep Austin Weird” to “batty” nights, this city has its own unique language. Get ready to dive into the hilarious and quirky world of Austin sayings and jokes.

We’re about to explore the local lingo and humor that makes this Texas capital so special. Whether you’re a newcomer or a longtime resident, understanding these Austin sayings will have you laughing and feeling like a true insider.

So, buckle up and prepare for some good ol’ Austin fun. It’s time to decode the city’s wit and charm, one joke at a time!

Best Austin Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear to Fit In

• Keep Austin Weird? Honey, my parking job on South Congress already did that.
• I tried to find a decent breakfast taco in Austin, but it was a queso-dilla of a situation.
• What do you call an Austinite who’s afraid of the dark? A little bit Batty.
• Why did the hipster move to Round Rock? He heard the coffee was *too* mainstream in Austin.
• Austin traffic is so bad, I saw a squirrel finish its taxes while waiting in the left lane.
• You know you’re in Austin when a guy in a cowboy hat and a tutu walks past you with a unicycle.
• I’m not saying Austin is hot, but I saw a cactus wearing sunscreen and a wide-brimmed hat.
• An Austinite’s version of “I’ll be right back” translates to approximately 45 minutes, plus or minus a food truck line.
• My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I moved to Austin and became a musician.
• What’s Austin’s favorite type of music? Whatever hasn’t been discovered by anyone else yet.
• I went to a silent disco in Austin. It was so quiet, I could hear the tech bros calculating their next raise.
• Two Austinites are debating music genres. One says, “I only listen to indie artists you haven’t heard of yet.” The other replies, “Oh yeah? Well, I listen to bands that haven’t even *formed* yet.”
• Why did the chicken cross the Zilker Park trail? To prove it was more organic than the people picnicking there.
• I tried to order water at an Austin bar, and the bartender looked at me like I’d asked for a unicorn’s horn.
• Austin is the only place where you can simultaneously see someone wearing cowboy boots and carrying a reusable grocery bag made from hemp.

Keep Austin Weird: The Origin of Local Sayings

Ever wondered why Austin is so delightfully quirky? “Keep Austin Weird” isn’t just a slogan, it’s a battle cry born from the desire to protect local businesses and culture against homogenization. That spirit fuels our unique sayings and jokes, reflecting a city that celebrates its individuality and refuses to be…

• “I’m not saying Austin is quirky, but my neighbor’s dog has a better band than I do.”
• “You know you’re an Austinite when your ‘dressy’ outfit includes cowboy boots and a vintage band tee.”
• An Austin traffic jam is just a slow-moving parade of Subarus and bumper stickers.
• Why did the chicken cross South Congress? To prove it was more organic than the people waiting in line for brunch.
• “My therapist told me to embrace my inner Austinite, so I started wearing tie-dye and talking about my chakra alignment.”
• “Austin: Where the bats are cooler than most people I know.”
• An Austinite’s idea of a “quick coffee run” is a leisurely bike ride to a local roaster, followed by a debate on the merits of different brewing methods.
• “I tried to have a serious conversation about politics in Austin, but then someone started playing a didgeridoo.”
• Austin dating: where the first question is “What’s your favorite food truck?” and the second is “Are you in a band?”
• You haven’t truly experienced Austin until you’ve seen a guy in a cowboy hat, a tutu, and roller skates playing a saxophone on a unicycle.
• “I’m not saying the music scene is big, but my Uber driver just handed me his band’s demo.”
• “In Austin, ‘I’m just going for a walk’ is code for ‘I’m going to end up at a food truck and a live music venue.'”
• “My apartment is so small, I have to go to Zilker Park to feel like I have some space to breathe, and then I get lost in a drum circle.”
• “The only thing more unpredictable than the weather in Austin is the time it takes to get through a parking garage.”
• “You know you’re in Austin when you see a dog wearing a tie-dye bandana, riding in a sidecar, while his owner plays the banjo.”

Austin Foodie Phrases: From Tacos to BBQ

Austin’s food scene? It’s a whole language! Forget “hangry,” we’re talking “taco ’bout it” and “low and slow” BBQ. Our sayings are as flavorful as the food itself. From queso cravings to brisket boasts, if you hear these phrases, you’re in Austin and about to eat well.

• An Austin foodie’s idea of a balanced diet is a breakfast taco in one hand and a craft beer in the other.
• “I’m not saying the queso is good, but I saw a guy propose to it.”
• You know you’re an Austin local when you can name three different food trucks that serve the same type of tacos, but you have a favorite for each.
• My favorite Austin workout? Speed-walking to the shortest food truck line.
• Two Austinites are discussing barbecue. One says, “I only eat the brisket from places that have a two-hour wait.” The other replies, “Oh yeah? I wait three.”
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and that includes the number of food trucks per square mile in Austin.
• “I tried to order a plain burger, they looked at me like I’d asked for a unicorn, and then offered me a veggie burger with a side of locally sourced pickles.”
• An Austin restaurant’s menu is just a list of things I can’t pronounce, followed by a description that sounds like a poem, and a price that makes my wallet cry.
• You haven’t truly lived until you’ve had a breakfast taco so good, it made you question all your life choices.
• An Austin foodie’s biggest fear? A food truck running out of their favorite item before you get to the window.
• “I’m not saying the coffee is strong, but it made me spontaneously write a song about the meaning of life…on a napkin.”
• “My last meal in Austin was a deconstructed vegan enchilada that cost more than my rent, but it was worth it.”
• You know you’re an Austin foodie when your GPS is set to avoid all roads that don’t have a food truck on them.
• An Austinite’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of loaded nachos that could feed a small family, and a craft beer pairing.
• “I tried to have a healthy meal in Austin, but a nearby food truck started playing my favorite song, and my diet was foiled again.”

Navigating Austin Traffic: Jokes and Exasperation

Ah, Austin traffic! It’s a comedy of errors, really. “Keep Austin Weird,” they say, but “keep Austin moving” is the real punchline. We’ve all got our favorite traffic jokes, born from collective exasperation. From “I-35 parking lot” to “MoPac crawl,” it’s a shared experience, a unique badge of our city.

• Austin traffic is like a live music festival, except the only headliner is a red brake light.
• “Just five more minutes” in Austin traffic translates to “I’ll see you sometime next Tuesday, maybe.”
• My car’s GPS in Austin now just says, “Prepare for a detour, and maybe a spontaneous food truck stop.”
• Austin traffic is a great way to practice your patience, or completely lose it, your choice.
• I’m convinced Austin traffic is powered by the tears of people running late for brunch.
• You know you’re in Austin when you measure distance in ‘song lengths’ on the highway, and they are all interrupted by traffic.
• Austin traffic is like a box of chocolates, you never know how long you’re going to be stuck in it, but you’re definitely getting a lot of it.
• My car’s air conditioning is working overtime in Austin traffic, it deserves a medal, and maybe a raise.
• “I’m almost there” in Austin, followed by a text saying “Just hit MoPac, send help.”
• Austin traffic is a great time to catch up on podcasts, or finally write that novel, or just contemplate your life choices.
• My therapist told me to practice mindfulness, I told her to try meditating in Austin traffic, and then get back to me.
• The only thing more unpredictable than the weather in Austin is the flow of traffic on I-35.
• Austin traffic is a social event, except instead of talking, everyone just glares at each other and honks.
• Austin traffic: where the only thing moving faster than the cars is the speed at which you’re losing your sanity.
• You haven’t truly experienced Austin until you’ve been stuck in traffic on a Sunday, wondering if maybe you should have just stayed home.

Live Music Lingo: Understanding Austin’s Sound

Austin’s music scene has its own language, y’all. Forget “gig,” it’s a “show.” “Keep Austin Weird” extends to the tunes, so expect everything from blues to psychedelic rock. If someone says “two-step,” get ready to dance, not walk. Understanding these local terms is key to navigating Austin’s vibrant soundscape and…

• An Austinite’s idea of a ‘quiet night in’ is a jam session with three different bands in their living room.
• “Keep Austin Weird” is just a polite way of saying “Please don’t judge my collection of vintage theremins.”
• You know you’re in Austin when the guy selling you a breakfast taco is also promoting his band’s new album.
• An Austin musician’s apartment is less ‘home’ and more ‘instrument storage facility with a bed.’
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner musician, so I bought a banjo and started busking on South Congress, and now I’m just one of the crowd.
• “That’s about as likely as finding a parking spot on 6th Street on a Saturday night, and then not having to listen to live music.”
• Austin: Where the only thing louder than the live music is the sound of someone complaining about the lack of parking.
• In Austin, the question isn’t “What do you do?” but “What instrument do you play, and what band are you in?”
• I tried to have a quiet moment in Zilker Park, but a spontaneous drum circle had other plans, and then I was playing the bongos.
• An Austinite’s idea of a ‘quick jam session’ is a three-hour set with no breaks and lots of experimental riffs.
• My apartment is so small, I have to go to a music venue to feel like I have some space to rehearse.
• Austin: Where the phrase “local band” is redundant, because every band is local.
• Two Austinites are arguing about music. One says, “I only listen to vinyl from bands that haven’t been discovered yet.” The other replies, “Oh yeah? I listen to the sounds of the universe that haven’t even been created yet.”
• I tried to make a joke about Austin’s music scene, but it was too layered, too complex, and had a really catchy hook.
• You haven’t truly experienced Austin until you’ve seen a band playing on a moving trailer while stuck in traffic on I-35.

Barton Springs and Zilker Park: Common Austin Sayings

“Keep Austin Weird” isn’t just a slogan; it’s a way of life, especially around Barton Springs and Zilker Park. You’ll hear folks say “Did you Barton Springs it?” meaning a refreshing dip, or “Let’s Zilker it up,” suggesting a park adventure. These aren’t just places; they’re part of Austin’s unique…

• You know you’re an Austinite when your “casual attire” includes a vintage band t-shirt, cowboy boots, and a reusable water bottle.
• I tried to have a quiet moment at Barton Springs, but a group of synchronized swimmers started a flash mob, and I accidentally became part of the show.
• An Austinite’s idea of a “quick hike” is a leisurely stroll to the top of the Zilker Park hill, followed by a detailed analysis of the best food truck nearby.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Austinite, so I started wearing tie-dye to my appointments and talking about the healing power of live music.
• I tried to have a picnic in Zilker Park, but a group of frisbee golfers declared it their territory, and I had to surrender my blanket.
• You know you’re a true Austinite when you can navigate a crowded Zilker Park on a Sunday afternoon while simultaneously juggling a frisbee, a craft beer, and a breakfast taco.
• My car’s GPS in Austin now just says, “Prepare for a detour, because why not? And maybe a spontaneous food truck stop, and a possible drum circle.”
• Two Austinites are discussing their day. One says, “I had a really intense yoga session, then I did a sound bath, and then I went to a vegan cheese tasting.” The other replies, “Oh yeah? I just meditated with a group of bats and then went to a drum circle, and then I got a breakfast taco, and that was just this morning.”
• I tried to have a moment of peace at Barton Springs, but the ducks had other plans; mostly involving my sandwich and a synchronized swimming routine.
• An Austinite’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of loaded nachos that could feed a small village, and a craft beer pairing, preferably at a food truck rally.
• You haven’t truly experienced Austin until you’ve seen a guy in a cowboy hat, a tutu, and roller skates playing a saxophone on a unicycle while juggling breakfast tacos.
• My apartment is so small, I have to go to Zilker Park to feel like I have some space to breathe, and then I get lost in a drum circle.
• You know you’re an Austinite when you can give directions using only the names of food trucks, music venues, and the general direction of Zilker Park.
• I’m not saying the music scene is big, but my Uber driver just handed me his band’s demo and asked if I wanted a ride to their next gig.
• An Austinite’s idea of a ‘quiet night in’ is a jam session with three different bands in their living room, preferably featuring a didgeridoo.

Dating in Austin: Funny Anecdotes and Local Wisdom

Austin dating? Buckle up, y’all! It’s a wild ride of “Keep Austin Weird” encounters. From accidental dates at the Greenbelt to misinterpreting “I love tacos” as a proposal, we’ve all got stories. Local wisdom: don’t overthink it, embrace the awkward, and maybe learn a new two-step.

• “My Austin dating profile picture is just me holding a breakfast taco and a craft beer, because honestly, what else is there?”
• “I knew it was a true Austin date when they asked if I preferred my queso with or without brisket, and then we debated the merits of different food trucks.”
• “Dating in Austin is like a music festival; you’ll meet a lot of interesting people, but you’re never quite sure if you’ll find ‘the one’ or just someone who wants to borrow your phone charger.”
• “They say you can find love anywhere in Austin, as long as it’s at a brewery or a food truck, and you’re ok with the person having a dog.”
• “I tried to have a romantic first date at Zilker Park, but we ended up in a drum circle and I spent most of the time trying not to lose my shoes.”
• “My Austin dating strategy is simple: find someone who can handle my love for breakfast tacos and doesn’t mind spontaneous live music.”
• “An Austin love story: We met at a coffee shop, bonded over our love for local music, and then spent the next three hours trying to find parking on South Congress.”
• “You know you’re on an Austin date when the conversation shifts from ‘What do you do?’ to ‘What instrument do you play?’ within the first five minutes.”
• “I tried to impress my date with my knowledge of Austin’s music scene, but they just asked if I’d heard of the band that plays exclusively on kazoos.”
• “My Austin dating life is a lot like the traffic on MoPac: slow-moving, slightly frustrating, but with the occasional beautiful view of the sunset if you’re lucky.”
• “You know you’re dating an Austinite when they measure distance in ‘number of food trucks’ rather than miles.”
• “I knew they were the one when they didn’t judge me for wearing cowboy boots and a vintage band t-shirt on a first date, and then asked if I wanted to go two-stepping, and then we spent the night at a honky tonk.”
• “Trying to find a date in Austin who *doesn’t* play an instrument is like trying to find a parking spot on a Saturday night – nearly impossible.”
• “I tried to have a quiet, romantic dinner in Austin, but ended up at a restaurant with a live band, a trivia night, and a spontaneous dance-off. It was still pretty great.”
• “Dating in Austin is like a choose-your-own-adventure book, but all the paths lead to a food truck and a live music venue, and you’re ok with that.”

Austin Tech Culture: Jokes and Quirks

Austin’s tech scene? It’s a playground of quirky humor. You’ll hear jokes about “keeping Austin weird” while simultaneously coding the next big thing. Think startups with ping pong tables and founders who casually drop terms like “synergy” and “pivot.” It’s all part of the charm, a blend of ambition and…

• “My startup’s funding round is a lot like the line at Franklin Barbecue: long, arduous, and you might not even get what you came for.”
• An Austin coder’s idea of a balanced diet is a breakfast taco in one hand and a cold brew in the other.
• “I tried to explain blockchain to my neighbor, but he was too busy perfecting his kombucha recipe.”
• “My app’s launch party is going to be epic: free craft beer, artisanal tacos, and a live coding demo that will probably crash halfway through.”
• “You know you’re in an Austin tech meeting when someone suggests ‘disrupting’ the concept of meetings.”
• “My office has a nap pod, a rock climbing wall, and a ping pong table, but I still can’t find a parking spot.”
• “My coding skills are like Austin’s traffic: sometimes smooth, mostly a hot mess, but always gets you where you need to go…eventually.”
• “An Austin tech company’s dress code is ‘whatever you were wearing at the music festival last night.’”
• “I tried to have a serious conversation about market trends, but someone started playing a ukulele, and then it was a jam session.”
• “My startup’s office is like a playground for adults, except the swings are replaced with standing desks and the sandbox is filled with bean bag chairs.”
• “I’m not saying my company is eco-conscious, but our servers are powered by solar panels and the tears of overworked interns.”
• “You know you’re in an Austin tech park when the parking lot is filled with scooters and electric skateboards, and the occasional unicycle.”
• “My AI algorithm is so smart, it can predict the next food truck trend before it even hits South Congress.”
• “My work-life balance is a lot like Austin’s weather: unpredictable, occasionally beautiful, and often involves a sudden downpour followed by intense heat.”
• “An Austin techie’s biggest fear? Running out of cold brew before the next stand-up.”

Keeping it Local: Austin’s Unique Expressions and Slang

Austin’s got its own quirky language, y’all. It’s more than just “Keep Austin Weird”; it’s the inside jokes, the slang, the way we talk about the “bat bridge” or the “zilker park” that makes us unique. Our sayings and humor are a badge of honor, a way to connect with…

• An Austinite’s “quick trip to the grocery store” involves stopping at three different farmers markets and a kombucha brewery.
• My apartment is so small, I have to go to a local music venue to feel like I have some space to practice my air guitar.
• You know you’re in Austin when your neighbor’s cat has a better music festival schedule than you do.
• Austin dating is like a food truck rally; lots of options, but you’re never sure if you’ll find ‘the one’ or just someone who wants to share your fries.
• My car’s GPS in Austin now just says, “Prepare for a detour, and maybe a spontaneous stop for breakfast tacos, and a possible drum circle.”
• “I’m not saying the coffee is strong, but it made me spontaneously write a song about the meaning of life…on a napkin and then perform it on the street corner.”
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and that includes the number of times you hear “Keep Austin Weird” in a single day.
• An Austinite’s idea of a balanced diet is a breakfast taco in one hand and a craft beer in the other, and maybe a side of vegan queso.
• I tried to have a quiet afternoon at Barton Springs, but a group of synchronized swimmers started a flash mob and I had to join in, it’s the Austin way.
• Why did the chicken cross South Congress? To prove it was more organic than the people waiting in line for brunch, and to get to the food truck on the other side.
• You haven’t truly experienced Austin until you’ve been stuck in traffic on a Sunday wondering if you should have just stayed home and listened to some live music.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Austinite, so I started wearing tie-dye to therapy and talking about my chakra alignment, and then asked if they wanted to go to a jam session.
• An Austin musician’s apartment is less of a home and more of an instrument storage facility with a bed, a vintage amp, and a pile of band tees in the corner.
• Two Austinites are debating music genres. One says, “I only listen to artists that haven’t even uploaded to Spotify yet.” The other replies, “Oh yeah? Well, I listen to bands that haven’t even formed yet.”
• My favorite Austin workout? Speed-walking to the shortest food truck line, and then trying to find a spot to sit while balancing a breakfast taco and a craft beer.