150 Best Colorado Springs Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear

Ever been to Colorado Springs and felt like you were missing an inside joke? You’re not alone! This vibrant city has its own unique culture, and that includes its own set of Colorado Springs saying and quirky humor.

From playful jabs at the altitude to references only locals understand, we’re diving into the fun and funny side of the Springs. Get ready to chuckle and maybe even learn a few phrases to sound like a true Coloradan!

Best Colorado Springs Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear

• You know you’re from Colorado Springs when “a little snow” means you still go golfing.
• Why did the Manitou Incline break up with Pikes Peak? Too many ups and downs!
• Colorado Springs: Where the altitude is high and the dating standards are even higher.
• Heard they’re opening a new brewery in Old Colorado City. It’s called “Peak Condition” – it’s always on tap.
• My car’s GPS keeps telling me to “take the scenic route” in Colorado Springs. Pretty sure it’s just trying to avoid traffic on Powers.
• What do you call a lazy mountain lion in Garden of the Gods? A rock-bottom couch potato.
• The Broadmoor is so fancy, I felt underdressed wearing my hiking boots.
• Two tourists were arguing about the best view in Colorado Springs. One said Garden of the Gods, the other said the Air Force Academy. I said, “Have you seen the view from my couch, watching Netflix?”
• A Colorado Springs resident walks into a coffee shop, orders a decaf, and then asks for directions to the nearest dispensary… Just another Tuesday.
• My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I moved to Colorado Springs for the views and the altitude and the traffic.
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms in Colorado Springs? Because they make up everything… even the weather!
• Colorado Springs: Where you can experience all four seasons in one afternoon, and still have time for a hike.
• They say Colorado Springs is a dog-friendly city. My dog thinks it’s an “every-squirrel-is-a-challenge” kind of city.
• I tried to write a song about Colorado Springs, but I couldn’t find a rhyme for “Pikes Peak.” Maybe “bike sneak?”
• The Air Force Academy’s Falcon mascot is always so serious. I bet he secretly wants to learn how to do the Macarena.

Colorado Springs Sayings: A Local’s Guide to the Lingo

Ever wonder what “the Springs” really means? Or why everyone talks about “Pikes Peak or bust”? “Colorado Springs Sayings: A Local’s Guide to the Lingo” decodes our unique slang, alongside classic Colorado Springs jokes. It’s your inside track to understanding the humor and heart of our city.

• My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to find parking at Garden of the Gods on a Saturday morning, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to figure out how to get back to my car, and then I realize I forgot my reusable water bottle, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I also forgot my hat.
• “Just a few minutes away” in Colorado Springs can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on Academy, if there is a military exercise, and if the hiking trail you are going to is open, and also, if the line at the coffee shop is too long.
• Colorado Springs: Where the weather changes faster than the elevation, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a hat.
• I tried to have a moment of peace in Garden of the Gods, but ended up in a staring contest with a chipmunk, and then I bought a t-shirt.
• “Hon, that’s about as exciting as watching a rock form, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.”
• Colorado Springs drivers treat lane lines like they’re optional features on a mountain road and speed limits as a personal challenge from a tourist, and also, they all have a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway, and also, they all have a backup plan for their bike.
• My favorite Colorado Springs pastime? Complaining about the tourists, while simultaneously adding to the crowds, and then getting a coffee at a local roaster.
• My car’s GPS in Colorado Springs now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour, a sudden desire to go hiking, and a strong possibility of encountering a craft brewery, and then you will probably need to find parking for your bike.”
• You know you’re a Colorado Springs native when you can give directions using only the names of different hiking trails, the general direction of Pikes Peak, and the phrase “just past the place where the deer are always crossing, and then you should probably check if you have a hat.”
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Coloradan, so I started wearing hiking boots to therapy and talking about the latest brewery openings, and then asked if they wanted to go for a bike ride on the greenway, and then we did, but first, we had to find parking, and then we had to try a new coffee shop, and then we had to figure out how to get back home, and then we realized we forgot our reusable water bottles, and then we had to start all over again tomorrow, but it was still worth it, and also, we realized we forgot our hats, and also, we realized we forgot our portable chargers.
• A Colorado Springs resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a locally sourced protein bar, a cup of kombucha, and a detailed plan for their next hike, and also, they have a good data plan for when they are trying to find parking near the trailhead.
• My Colorado Springs weather app is just a picture of the mountains with a tiny hat on one of the peaks, and a strong suggestion that you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan.
• I tried to find a quiet spot in downtown Colorado Springs, but ended up in a staring contest with a street performer dressed as a mountain, and then I bought a reusable water bottle, and then I went to get a craft beer.
• A Colorado Springs resident’s favorite magic trick? Making a parking spot appear where it definitely wasn’t supposed to be, and also, they probably have a backup plan for their bike, and a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get home after that hike.
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to navigate the Manitou Incline on a Saturday morning, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my reusable water bottle, and then I realize I forgot my hat.”

Colorado Springs Jokes: Pikes Peak Punchlines and Local Humor

Looking for laughs specific to the Springs? “Colorado Springs Jokes: Pikes Peak Punchlines and Local Humor” is your guide. It’s a deep dive into the city’s unique quirks, from altitude sickness gags to Garden of the Gods puns. This collection captures the essence of Colorado Springs’ humor, making it a…

• Colorado Springs: Where the mountains are always watching, and the drivers are always surprised by the curves.
• “I’m not saying I’m a bad driver,” a Colorado Springs resident muttered, “but my GPS just suggested I take a detour through Garden of the Gods to avoid the traffic on Academy, and also, I should probably have a backup plan for my bike.”
• My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to find parking at the Air Force Academy on graduation day, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my reusable water bottle, and then I have to try to find parking again.
• Colorado Springs drivers treat lane lines like they’re optional features on a mountain road and speed limits as a personal challenge from a tourist, and also, they all have a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway, and also, they all have a backup plan for their bike.
• Colorado Springs weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden snow flurry, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find parking near the Incline.
• Two tourists were arguing about which view in Colorado Springs was better. One said the Garden of the Gods, and the other said Pikes Peak. The local just said, “Have you tried the view from the brewery patio, and also, do you have a portable charger?”
• “Just a few minutes away” in Colorado Springs can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on I-25, if there is a military exercise, and if the hiking trail you are going to is open, and also, if you have a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find parking near the Incline.
• You know you’re a true Colorado Springs resident when you can give directions using only the names of different hiking trails, the general direction of Pikes Peak, and the phrase “just past the place where the deer are always crossing.”
• My car’s GPS in Colorado Springs now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour due to a sudden urge to go hiking, and a strong desire to get a craft beer, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.”
• My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to navigate the Manitou Incline on a Saturday morning, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again.
• Colorado Springs: Where the mountains are always in the background, and the traffic is always in the foreground.
• A Colorado Springs resident’s idea of a “balanced diet” is a locally sourced protein bar, a cup of kombucha, and a detailed plan for their next hike and a portable charger, and a really good data plan.
• Colorado Springs drivers treat lane lines like they’re optional features on a mountain road and speed limits as a personal challenge from a tourist, and also, they all have a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway.
• You know you’re a true Colorado Springs local when you can identify the exact peak just by looking at it from your car window and know which brewery has the best view of the mountains, and you also know where to find parking for your bike.
• My Colorado Springs weather app is just a picture of the mountains with a tiny hat on one of the peaks, and a strong suggestion that you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan.

Colorado Springs Sayings About the Weather: From Sun to Snow

Colorado Springs folks have a unique way of talking about our wild weather. One minute it’s “sun’s out, guns out,” then, bam, “wait five minutes, it’ll snow.” We joke it’s like Mother Nature’s mood swings, but really, it’s just our daily dose of Colorado’s unpredictable charm. We’ve got sayings for…

• Colorado Springs weather: where you can experience all four seasons in the time it takes to drive to the grocery store.
• “If you don’t like the weather in Colorado Springs, just wait five minutes, it’ll change, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.”
• Colorado Springs: Where the sun is always shining, unless it’s snowing, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.
• “I’m not saying the weather is unpredictable, but I saw a squirrel wearing a parka and sunglasses today.”
• Colorado Springs weather is like a mountain hike: sometimes sunny, sometimes snowy, always a challenge, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan.
• “The Pikes Peak cloud is out today, which means it’s either going to snow, or it’s going to be sunny, or both, and also, you should probably have a hat.”
• Colorado Springs weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden snow flurry, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find parking near the Incline.
• “The weather here is so bipolar, it once snowed while the sun was shining, and then it hailed, and then it was sunny again, all while I was waiting in line for a coffee.”
• Colorado Springs: Where the only thing more unpredictable than the weather is the time it takes to find a parking spot at Garden of the Gods, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.
• “I tried to have a moment of peace in Garden of the Gods, but the wind had other plans, mostly involving my hat and my dignity, and also, I should probably have a portable charger.”
• Colorado Springs weather is like a teenager: moody, unpredictable, and always changing its mind, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.
• “The weather in Colorado Springs is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get, but you can bet that you will probably need a hat, a portable charger, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home after the Incline, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.”
• “I’m not saying the weather is confusing, but I saw a tourist wearing a t-shirt, shorts, a winter coat, and snow boots.”
• Colorado Springs weather: where the mountains are always out, and the parking is always a challenge.
• “The weather in Colorado Springs is so dramatic, it once snowed, then it was sunny, and then it hailed, and then it was sunny again, all before I could finish a cup of coffee, and also, you should probably have a hat.”

Colorado Springs Jokes About Manitou Springs: Quirks and Quips

Colorado Springs folks love a good-natured jab at their quirky neighbor, Manitou Springs. It’s all part of the local humor, like poking fun at the incline or the abundance of tie-dye. These jokes highlight the differences between the two towns, a blend of friendly rivalry and shared Colorado experience, making…

• Manitou Springs: Where the only thing steeper than the hills are the prices for bottled water, and you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.
• My favorite Manitou Springs workout? Trying to find a parking spot on a Saturday, and then trying to find a place to sit and eat my fudge, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to figure out how to get back home, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.
• You know you’re in Manitou Springs when a “quick stroll” turns into a full-blown uphill hike, and then you have to try to find parking.
• Manitou Springs: Where the air is thin, the crowds are thick, and the fudge is always calling your name, and you should probably have a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find a parking spot.
• I tried to have a moment of zen by the creek, but a group of tourists started a synchronized water bottle filling routine, and then I bought a bag of fudge.
• Manitou Springs is so charming, even the parking meters have a vintage vibe, and they charge you extra for the view.
• My Manitou Springs shopping strategy? Get in, get some fudge, get some quirky souvenirs, get some bottled water, and then get out before I buy another piece of fudge, and then I have to find parking again.
• You know you’re a true Manitou Springs local when you can give directions using only the names of different fudge shops and the general direction of the Incline.
• Manitou Springs weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden urge to buy some fudge, and a strong possibility of needing both a t-shirt and a light jacket, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.
• A Manitou Springs resident’s idea of “a few minutes away” can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on the main street, if the fudge shop you’re going to is open, and if you have a really good data plan for when you are trying to find parking, and also, if you have a portable charger, and a backup plan for your bike.
• I’m not saying the hills are steep, but I saw a squirrel using a tiny oxygen tank.
• Manitou Springs: Where the only thing more plentiful than the tourists are the opportunities to buy fudge, and also, the challenge of finding parking, and also, you should probably have a hat.
• Manitou Springs is so quirky, even the street signs have a sense of humor, and they are always pointing you to the nearest fudge shop.
• Manitou Springs is like a choose-your-own-adventure book, except all the endings involve eating fudge and trying to find parking for your bike, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.
• My favorite Manitou Springs workout? Trying to navigate the crowds while carrying multiple bags of fudge, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to find parking, and then trying to figure out how to get back home, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, but it is going to be worth it.

Colorado Springs Sayings: Understanding the Military Community’s Phrases

Colorado Springs boasts a unique blend of local and military culture, which shines through in its sayings. Understanding phrases like “hooah” or “PT” isn’t just about military jargon; it’s about connecting with a significant part of the community. These sayings, often heard in jokes and casual conversation, offer a glimpse…

• “Colorado Springs: Where ‘a quick drive’ can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the number of tourists, the wildlife crossing the road, and if the Incline is open, and also, if you have a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find parking.”
• Colorado Springs drivers treat lane lines like they’re optional features on a mountain road and speed limits as a personal challenge from a tourist, and also, they all have a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway.
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to find a parking spot near Garden of the Gods on a weekend, and then trying to find a place to sit and drink my coffee, and then trying to figure out how to get back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat.”
• “You know you’re a true Colorado Springs local when you can give directions using only the names of different hiking trails, the general direction of Pikes Peak, and the phrase, ‘just past the place where the deer are always crossing, and then you should probably check if your hat is still on, and then you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a really good data plan.'”
• Colorado Springs weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden snow flurry, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.
• “The Pikes Peak cloud is out” is Colorado Springs code for “expect the unexpected, and maybe bring a hat, and a portable charger, and a really good data plan.”
• Colorado Springs drivers treat turn signals like they are an optional feature on a mountain bike, and speed limits like a suggestion from a tourist, and also, they all know where to find the best coffee shops near the trailhead, and also, they all have a backup plan for their bike, and a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back home.
• Colorado Springs: Where “a few minutes away” can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on I-25, if there is a military exercise, and if the hiking trail you are going to is open, and also, if you have a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find parking near the Incline.
• My Colorado Springs weather app is just a picture of the mountains with a tiny hat on one of the peaks, and a strong suggestion that you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan, and a map of all the breweries in the area.
• “My favorite Colorado Springs sport? Dodging tourists in flip-flops while trying to find a parking spot at Garden of the Gods, and then trying to find a place to sit and eat my picnic, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike.”
• “Colorado Springs dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good hike, doesn’t mind a little altitude, and can navigate a mountain road without getting car sick, and also has a really good data plan for when we are trying to find parking near a trailhead, and a bike rack, and a portable charger.”
• “A Colorado Springs resident’s biggest fear? A day without sunshine, a brewery running out of their favorite hazy IPA, and finding out that the trailhead they wanted to hike is closed.”
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to parallel park on a hill while wearing hiking boots, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then realizing I forgot my reusable water bottle, and then I have to try to find parking again, and then I have to try to figure out how to get back home, and then I realize I forgot my portable charger.”
• “They say the best things in life are free, and in Colorado Springs, that includes the views of the mountains, and also, the challenge of finding parking, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you get lost on a hiking trail.”
• “You know you’re a true Colorado Springs local when you can give directions using only the names of different hiking trails, the general direction of Pikes Peak, and the phrase ‘just past the place where the deer are always crossing, and then you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway.'”

Colorado Springs Jokes: Navigating Garden of the Gods with Humor

Colorado Springs folks love a good laugh, especially about our beautiful backyard. “Navigating Garden of the Gods with Humor” explores the funny side of our iconic landmark. Think jokes about tourists, rock formations, and maybe even the occasional squirrel. It’s all part of the Colorado Springs experience, finding humor in…

• “Colorado Springs traffic: where the speed limit is just a suggestion, and the lane lines are more of a general guideline.”
• My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to find parking near the Incline on a Saturday morning, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car.
• “I’m not saying the air is thin, but I saw a squirrel wearing an oxygen mask.”
• A Colorado Springs resident’s biggest fear? Running out of reusable water bottles before reaching the summit, and also, finding a parking spot at the trailhead.
• “The Pikes Peak cloud is out” is Colorado Springs code for “expect the unexpected, and maybe bring a hat, and a portable charger, and a really good data plan.”
• “They say you can cut the air with a knife, but in Colorado Springs, you can carve it into a mountain.”
• “My car’s GPS in Colorado Springs now just says, ‘Prepare for a scenic detour due to a sudden urge to go hiking, and a strong possibility of encountering a craft brewery, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.'”
• “Colorado Springs dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good hike, doesn’t mind a little altitude, and can navigate a mountain road without complaining, and also has a really good data plan for when we are trying to find parking near a trailhead.”
• “Colorado Springs: Where the mountains are always watching, and the drivers are always surprised by the curves, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a hat, and a good sense of humor about the traffic.”
• “I tried to have a moment of peace in Garden of the Gods, but a squirrel stole my trail mix, and then gave me a lecture on sustainable foraging practices.”
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to parallel park on a hill while wearing hiking boots, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then realizing I forgot my reusable water bottle.”
• “Colorado Springs drivers treat lane lines like they’re optional features on a mountain bike, and speed limits like a personal challenge from a tourist, and also, they all have a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway, and also, they all have a backup plan for their bike.”
• “I’m not saying the weather is unpredictable, but I saw a tourist wearing a t-shirt, shorts, a winter coat, and snow boots all at the same time.”
• “Colorado Springs weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden snow flurry, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find parking near the Incline.”
• “What do you call a lazy mountain lion in Garden of the Gods? A rock-bottom couch potato.”

Colorado Springs Sayings: Decoding the Local Food and Drink Talk

Ever wondered what locals mean by “a green chile smothered burrito” or “a mountain mud”? Dive into the tasty world of Colorado Springs food and drink lingo! This isn’t just about ordering; it’s about understanding the heart of our city through its unique culinary expressions. It’s all part of our…

• “The Incline is my StairMaster, and my therapist, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.”
• Colorado Springs drivers use their turn signals like they are optional features on a mountain bike, and speed limits like a personal challenge from a tourist, and also, they all have a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway.
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to find parking near Garden of the Gods on a Saturday morning, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to figure out how to get back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again.”
• “The Pikes Peak cloud is out” is Colorado Springs code for “expect the unexpected, and maybe bring a hat, and a portable charger, and a really good data plan, and a map of all the breweries near the mountain.”
• A Colorado Springs resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a locally sourced protein bar, a cup of kombucha, and a detailed plan for their next hike.
• You know you’re a true Colorado Springs local when you can give directions using only the names of different hiking trails, the general direction of Pikes Peak, and the phrase “just past the place where the deer are always crossing.”
• “Colorado Springs dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good hike, doesn’t mind a little altitude, and can navigate a mountain road without getting car sick, and also has a really good data plan for when we are trying to find parking near a trailhead, and a bike rack, and a portable charger.”
• “My car’s GPS in Colorado Springs now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour due to a sudden urge to go hiking, and a strong desire to get a craft beer, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and also, you should probably have a map of all the trails.”
• Colorado Springs weather is like a mountain hike: sometimes sunny, sometimes snowy, always a challenge, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan.
• “They say the best things in life are free, and in Colorado Springs, that includes the views of the mountains, and also, the challenge of finding parking, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home after that hike.”
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to parallel park on a hill while wearing hiking boots, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then realizing I forgot my water bottle, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, but it’s going to be worth it.”
• “My Colorado Springs weather app is just a picture of the mountains with a tiny hat on one of the peaks, and a strong suggestion that you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan.”
• Two tourists were arguing about which view in Colorado Springs was better. One said Garden of the Gods, the other said the Air Force Academy. I said, “Have you seen the view from my couch, watching Netflix?”
• The most common phrase in Colorado Springs? “Did you see the mountains today, and did you find parking, and where are we going to get craft beer, and also, do you have a portable charger?”
• “Colorado Springs traffic: where the speed limit is just a suggestion and the lane lines are more of a general guideline, and also, everyone is trying to get to the mountains, and then they all have to find parking, and then they all realize they forgot their reusable water bottles.”

Colorado Springs Jokes: Poking Fun at the City’s Unique Culture

Colorado Springs boasts a unique culture, and naturally, jokes follow! From poking fun at our military presence to our love of outdoor adventures and the occasional “it’s-not-Denver” attitude, these local quips reveal the city’s quirky heart. It’s all part of our charm, a way to laugh at ourselves within the…

• Colorado Springs: Where the “outdoorsy” vibe is often just an excuse to wear hiking boots to the grocery store.
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to find a parking spot at a trailhead on a Saturday morning, and then realizing I forgot my water bottle, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow.”
• You know you’re a true Coloradan when you can identify the exact peak of Pikes Peak from a mile away, and then complain about the altitude while trying to find a place to lock your bike.
• Colorado Springs drivers use lane lines like they’re optional features on a mountain road, and speed limits as a personal challenge from a tourist, and also, they all have a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back to the highway.
• Colorado Springs weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden snow flurry, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find parking near a trailhead, and also, you should probably have a map of all the breweries in the area.
• “The Incline is my StairMaster, and my therapist, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.”
• “My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to parallel park on a hill while wearing hiking boots, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then realizing I forgot my water bottle.”
• “Just a few minutes away” in Colorado Springs can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on I-25, if there is a military exercise, and if the hiking trail you are going to is open, and also, if you have a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find parking near the Incline.
• My car’s GPS in Colorado Springs now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour due to a sudden urge to go hiking, and a strong desire to get a craft beer.”
• They should rename the 25 to “The Scenic Stop-and-Go Highway” because that’s what it is during rush hour.
• Colorado Springs dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good hike, doesn’t mind a little altitude, and can navigate a mountain road without complaining, and also has a really good data plan for when we are trying to find parking near a trailhead, and a bike rack, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find a place to charge your phone.
• “The Pikes Peak cloud is out” is Colorado Springs code for “expect the unexpected, and maybe bring a hat, and a portable charger, and a really good data plan.”
• My favorite Colorado Springs workout? Trying to find parking near the Incline on a Saturday morning, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and also, I forgot my reusable water bottle, and also, I forgot my phone charger.
• Why did the mountain lion get a therapist? It had too many rocky relationships.
• You know you’re a true Colorado Springs local when you can give directions using only the names of different hiking trails, the general direction of Pikes Peak, and the phrase “just past the place where the deer are always crossing, and then you should probably check if your hat is still on.”