150 Best Kansas City Sayings and Jokes The Hilarious Heart of the Midwest

Ever find yourself scratching your head at a phrase only a true Kansas Citian would understand? From quirky local slang to jokes that perfectly capture the city’s spirit, Kansas City sayings and jokes are a language all their own. Get ready to dive into the heart of KC humor.

This post will explore the unique expressions and witty banter that make Kansas City so special. We’ll uncover some hidden gems of local lingo and share a few laughs along the way. So, whether you’re a lifelong resident or just curious about the “Paris of the Plains,” let’s get started!

Best Kansas City Sayings and Jokes The Hilarious Heart of the Midwest

• Why did the BBQ restaurant in Kansas City get a bad review? Because the brisket was feeling a little… blue.
• “Fixin’ to” is Kansas City’s official verb tense. Everything’s always “fixin’ to” happen.
• A Kansas City tourist asked, “Where’s the best place to get a tenderloin?” The local replied, “Anywhere that sells bread, partner.”
• Two Kansas Citians walk into a bar, one orders a Boulevard, the other… gets a Boulevard too. It’s tradition.
• Kansas City weather forecast: 70% chance of humidity and 100% chance someone will complain about it.
• What’s a Kansas City resident’s favorite type of music? Blues, naturally, goes well with BBQ.
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City can either be a genuine sentiment or a subtle way of saying you’re a bit confused.
• How do you know someone’s from Kansas City? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you, probably while wearing a Chiefs jersey.
• A Kansas City mom’s biggest fear: not having enough barbeque sauce in the fridge.
• Why don’t secrets last long in Kansas City? Because everyone is “in the loop” or “down the road.”
• The Kansas City Zoo is great, but the real wildlife is found trying to parallel park downtown during a festival.
• I tried to explain the concept of a “thin crust” pizza to a Kansas Citian. They just stared at me like I’d suggested they replace their BBQ with tofu.
• You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a Kansas City traffic jam caused by someone stopping to buy a snow cone.
• A Kansas City romance: “I love you more than burnt ends.” “Prove it. Share your Zarda.”
• Heard a Kansas City joke so bad, even a Royals fan wouldn’t laugh.

Kansas City Sayings: A Local Lexicon

“Kansas City Sayings: A Local Lexicon” isn’t just a dry dictionary; it’s your key to understanding how we talk around here. Think of it as a cheat sheet for deciphering our unique phrases and quirky jokes. It’s the perfect companion to any book about Kansas City humor, helping you truly…

• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only barbecue restaurant names, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase, “just past the big fountain.”
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to navigate the Westport area on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to find a place to get a beer, and then trying to find my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow.
• A Kansas Citian’s idea of a “balanced diet” is barbecue in one hand, a Boulevard beer in the other, and a weather app open on their phone, trying to predict if it will rain on the tailgate.
• “A few minutes away” in Kansas City means you’re either already there, or you’re still in the next county, and it’s probably because you stopped for some barbecue.
• You know you’re in Kansas City when a conversation about the weather includes a detailed discussion about the humidity, the pollen count, and whether or not it’s a good day for a tailgate.
• My Kansas City dating life is a lot like the traffic on I-35: slow-moving, a little frustrating, but with the occasional beautiful view of the skyline if you’re lucky, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan.
• A Kansas Citian’s idea of a quick trip is a drive to three different barbecue places, just to compare the burnt ends, and then you realize you forgot your portable charger.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Kansas Citian, so I started wearing a Chiefs jersey to therapy, talking about the latest barbecue openings, and then asked if they wanted to go to a game, and then we did, but first, we had to find parking, and then we had to try a new brewery, and then we had to try to find a place to charge our phones.
• Kansas City: Where the speed limit is just a suggestion and the potholes are a challenge, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a good data plan, and a map of all the barbecue joints, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike.
• You know you’re a Kansas City local when the question isn’t “What’s for dinner?” but “Which barbecue place are we hitting up tonight, and do they have a patio, and do they validate parking?”
• Kansas City weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden downpour, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a Chiefs jersey, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a portable charger, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find parking during a festival.
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, but the lines at a Kansas City barbecue joint are definitely trying to compete.
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City can either be a genuine sentiment or a subtle way of saying you’re a little confused, depending on the drawl and the side eye.
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find a parking spot near the Plaza on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow.
• A Kansas City resident’s biggest fear? The barbecue place running out of burnt ends, and also, finding a parking spot that isn’t in the next county, and also, not having a portable charger.

Kansas City Jokes: Humor From the Heartland

“Kansas City Jokes: Humor From the Heartland” is a delightful dive into the city’s unique brand of wit. Part of the broader “Kansas City Sayings and Jokes,” it captures the local flavor with relatable stories and playful jabs. Expect a mix of down-to-earth observations and quirky humor that’ll leave you…

• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only the names of barbecue joints, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase, “just past the big fountain, and then you might get stuck in traffic, and then you will probably be hungry.”
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find parking near the Plaza on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I forget my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again.
• I tried to order a salad at a local diner, and the waitress looked at me like I’d just asked for a unicorn. “Honey, we have slaw,” she said, and then she asked if I wanted a side of barbecue sauce.
• You know you’re in Kansas City when the question isn’t “What’s for dinner?” but “Which barbecue place are we hitting up tonight, and do they have a patio, and do they validate parking?”
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City can either be a genuine sentiment or a subtle way of saying you’re a little confused, depending on the drawl and the side eye.
• My Kansas City dating life is a lot like the traffic on I-35: slow-moving, a little frustrating, but with the occasional beautiful view of the skyline if you’re lucky, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find parking near the Plaza.
• My favorite Kansas City pastime is complaining about the traffic, while simultaneously heading out for barbecue.
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, but the lines at a Kansas City barbecue joint are definitely trying to compete, and also the portions are huge, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and also, a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a parking spot near the Plaza.
• My Kansas City therapist told me to embrace my inner foodie, so I went to a barbecue competition, and then I ate too much, and then I had to find a place to take a nap, and then I realized I forgot my hat.
• They say what happens in Kansas City stays in Kansas City, but my credit card statement is telling a different story, and so is my stomach, and so is my portable charger.
• My car has started to develop a Kansas City accent; it only makes right turns and says, “Howdy, partner,” to other cars, and then asks if they know where the best barbecue is, and also, if they validate parking for bikes.
• You know you’ve met a true Kansas Citian when they can name all the best barbecue joints faster than they can find a parking spot near the Plaza on a Saturday night.
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to navigate the Westport area on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to find a place to get a beer, and then trying to find my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to start all over again.
• “Fixin’ to” is Kansas City’s official verb tense. Everything’s always “fixin’ to” happen, especially if it involves barbecue, and a good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.
• My favorite Kansas City sport? Trying to navigate the one-way streets downtown, and then trying to find a parking spot that isn’t going to get you towed, and then trying to find a place to charge your phone, and then you realize you forgot your hat, and then you have to start all over again tomorrow.

Funny Kansas City Nicknames: Beyond the Usual

Kansas City’s got more than just “KC”! We’ve got nicknames like “Cowtown” for the stockyards and “Paris of the Plains” for our surprising sophistication. You’ll hear these tossed around in local jokes and sayings, adding a unique flavor to our city’s humor. It’s a fun way to explore our history…

• My GPS in Kansas City just says, “Prepare for a detour due to a barbecue craving, and also, you might want to check if you have a portable charger, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.”
• Kansas City dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good burnt end, doesn’t mind a little humidity, and can navigate the one-way streets downtown, and also has a really good data plan for when we are trying to find parking near the Plaza, and a portable charger.
• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only the names of barbecue joints, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase “just past the big fountain, and then you will probably be stuck in traffic.”
• “Kansas City: Where ‘a few minutes away’ can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on I-35, and if the barbecue place you are going to is open, and if the Chiefs are playing, and also, if you have a good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.”
• I tried to order a salad at a local diner, and the waitress looked at me like I’d just asked for a unicorn. “Honey, we have slaw,” she said, and then she asked if I was from out of town, and then she asked if I had a portable charger, and then she offered me a map of all the local barbecue places.
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find parking near the Plaza on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again.
• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when the question isn’t “What’s for dinner?” but “Which barbecue place are we hitting up tonight, and do they have a patio, and do they validate parking?”
• “Fixin’ to” isn’t just a phrase in Kansas City, it’s a verb tense, and also, it’s a way of life, and also, it’s a good excuse to take a nap and order more barbecue.
• My car has developed a Kansas City accent; it only makes right turns and says, “Howdy, partner,” to other cars, and then asks if they know where to find the best burnt ends.
• A Kansas City resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of ribs, a side of burnt ends, and a large sweet tea.
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City can either be a genuine sentiment or a subtle way of saying you’re a bit confused, depending on the drawl and the side eye, and also, if you are wearing a Royals hat, and also, if you are trying to find parking near the Plaza on a Saturday night.
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, but the lines at a Kansas City barbecue joint are definitely trying to compete, and also, the portions are huge, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Kansas Citian, so I started wearing a Chiefs jersey to therapy, talking about the latest barbecue openings, and then asked if they wanted to go to a game, and then we did, but first we had to find parking, and then we had to try a new brewery, and then we had to try a new barbecue joint, and then we realized we forgot our portable charger, and then we had to start all over again tomorrow.
• My favorite Kansas City pastime is complaining about the traffic while simultaneously heading out for barbecue, and then trying to find a parking spot near the Plaza, and then realizing I forgot my hat.
• You know you’re in Kansas City when a conversation about the weather includes a detailed discussion about the humidity, the pollen count, and whether or not it’s a good day for a tailgate, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a portable charger, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find parking near the Plaza.

Kansas City Sports Jokes: Ribbing the Royals and Chiefs

Kansas City folks love a good laugh, especially when it involves our teams. “Kansas City Sports Jokes: Ribbing the Royals and Chiefs” captures that perfectly. From playful jabs at the Royals’ struggles to witty takes on the Chiefs’ triumphs, it’s all part of our local humor. It’s how we bond,…

• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only the names of barbecue joints, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase “just past that really big fountain, and then you will probably be stuck in traffic.”
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find a parking spot near the Plaza on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my portable charger.
• “Fixin’ to” isn’t just a phrase in Kansas City, it’s a verb tense. Everything’s always “fixin’ to” happen, especially if it involves barbecue.
• A Kansas City dating profile would probably read: “Seeking someone who appreciates a good burnt end, doesn’t mind a little humidity, and can navigate the one-way streets downtown, and also has a really good data plan for when we are trying to find parking near the Plaza.”
• They say everything’s bigger in Texas, but the lines at a Kansas City barbecue joint are definitely trying to compete, and also, the portions are huge, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.
• My car has started to develop a Kansas City accent; it only makes right turns and says, “Howdy, partner,” to other cars, then asks if they know where the best barbecue is, and if they have a portable charger, and a backup plan for their bike, and also, a really good data plan.
• My favorite Kansas City pastime is complaining about the traffic, while simultaneously heading out for barbecue.
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City can either be a genuine sentiment or a subtle way of saying you’re a little confused, depending on the drawl and the side eye, and also, if you are wearing a Royals hat.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Kansas Citian, so I started wearing a Chiefs jersey to therapy, talking about the latest barbecue openings, and then asked if they wanted to go to a game, and then we did, but first, we had to find parking, and then we had to try a new brewery, and then we had to try a new barbecue joint, and then we realized we forgot our hats.
• You know you’re in Kansas City when a conversation about the weather includes a detailed discussion about the humidity, the pollen count, and whether or not it’s a good day for a tailgate, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a portable charger, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find parking near the Plaza.
• They say what happens in Kansas City stays in Kansas City, but my credit card statement is telling a different story, and so is my stomach, and so is my portable charger.
• Why did the chicken cross the road in Kansas City? To get to the other side, where the barbecue was even better and they were validating parking for bikes.
• A Kansas City resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of ribs, a side of burnt ends, and a large sweet tea, and then they try to figure out where they parked their car, and then they realize they forgot their portable charger, and then they start all over again tomorrow, and then they try to get a new hat.
• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only the names of barbecue joints, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase “just past the big fountain and then you will probably be stuck in traffic, and also you should probably have a portable charger.”
• My favorite Kansas City sport? Trying to navigate the one-way streets downtown, and then trying to find a parking spot that isn’t going to get you towed, and then trying to find a place to charge your phone, and then you realize you forgot your hat, and then you have to start all over again tomorrow.

Unique Kansas City Phrases: Decoding the Local Lingo

Ever felt lost in a conversation with a Kansas Citian? Don’t worry, it’s not you! This guide, “Unique Kansas City Phrases,” helps decode our local lingo. From “the loop” to “the K,” understanding these sayings is key to unlocking the humor and heart of Kansas City jokes and everyday banter….

• “That’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home from the Plaza on a Saturday night.”
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find a parking spot near the River Market on a Sunday morning, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I try to find parking again.
• A Kansas City resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of burnt ends, a side of coleslaw, and a large sweet tea, and then they start complaining about the Chiefs, and then they start complaining about the traffic, and then they realize they forgot their portable charger, and then they have to start all over again tomorrow.
• “That’s about as likely as finding a parking spot on the Plaza on a Friday night, and also, you should probably just take the streetcar, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home, and also, you should probably have a hat.”
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City is more like a well-seasoned barbecue rub – it can be sweet, spicy, and leave you wondering what just happened.
• A Kansas City driver’s turn signal is less of a suggestion and more of a surprise for the other drivers, and also, they are all probably going to a barbecue joint.
• “My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to navigate the Crossroads on a First Friday, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to find a place to get a beer, and then trying to find my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my reusable water bottle.”
• “Just a few minutes away” in Kansas City can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on I-35, and if the barbecue place you are going to is open, and if the Royals are playing, and also, if you have a good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.
• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only the names of different barbecue joints, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase, “just past the big fountain, and then you will probably be stuck in traffic, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.”
• “That’s about as likely as the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl next year, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home, and also, you should probably just get some barbecue.”
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City is not just a saying, it’s a way of life, a form of passive-aggressive communication, and a way to end a conversation about the traffic, and also, it’s a way to say “you should probably have a hat”.
• “My car’s GPS in Kansas City now just says, ‘Prepare for a detour due to a barbecue craving, and also, you might want to check if you have a portable charger, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.'”
• “I’m not saying Kansas City is flat, but I saw a tumbleweed trying to use a skateboard.”
• “My favorite Kansas City workout is trying to find a parking spot near the Plaza on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.”
• “Well, isn’t that just something,” said the Kansas Citian, which roughly translates to “Bless your heart, you’re a little bit confused, and you should probably have some barbecue.”

Kansas City Food Jokes: BBQ and Beyond

Kansas City’s humor isn’t just about “how ’bout those Chiefs!” It’s also about food. “Kansas City Food Jokes: BBQ and Beyond” explores our city’s culinary quips, from rib-tickling BBQ puns to witty takes on burnt ends. It’s a tasty tour through local laughs, proving we’re as serious about our jokes…

• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to decide which barbecue place to go to, and then trying to find parking, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to not eat too much, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow.
• You know you’re a Kansas Citian when your idea of a ‘light snack’ is a plate of burnt ends with a side of fries, and a sweet tea, and maybe a slice of pie.
• “Just a few minutes away” in Kansas City can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on 71, and if the barbecue place you’re going to is open, and if the Chiefs are playing, and if you have a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back to your car.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Kansas Citian, so I started wearing a Chiefs jersey to therapy and talking about the latest barbecue openings, and then asked if they wanted to go to a game, and then we did, but first, we had to find parking, and then we had to try a new brewery, and then we had to try a new barbecue joint, and then we realized we forgot our hats, and then we had to start all over again tomorrow.
• A Kansas City resident’s biggest fear? The barbecue place running out of burnt ends, and also, finding a parking spot that isn’t in the next county, and also, not having a portable charger, and also, not having a hat, and also, not having a really good data plan for when they are trying to find their car.
• Kansas City weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for barbecue, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find parking at the farmers market.
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City is a versatile phrase that can mean anything from “I feel sorry for you” to “you’re about to make a terrible decision” depending on the drawl.
• My car has developed a Kansas City accent; it only makes right turns and says, “Howdy, partner,” to other cars and then asks if they know where to get the best burnt ends and if they validate parking for bikes.
• A Kansas City joke is never complete without someone saying, “Yeah, but have you been to [insert slightly better barbecue joint]?”
• “Fixin’ to” isn’t just a phrase in Kansas City, it’s a verb tense, and also, a way of life, and also, a good excuse to take a nap and order more barbecue.
• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only the names of barbecue joints, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase, “just past the big fountain, and then you’ll probably be stuck in traffic.”
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find a parking spot near the Plaza on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again, and then I realize I forgot my portable charger, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow.
• “You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when the question isn’t ‘What’s for dinner?’ but ‘Which barbecue place are we hitting up tonight, and do they have a patio, and do they validate parking for bikes, and do they have a portable charger?'”
• They say Kansas City is the city of fountains, but I think it’s more like the city of delicious barbecue and a never-ending search for parking, and a place to charge your phone.
• “I’m not saying I’m a bad navigator, but my GPS in Kansas City now just says, ‘Prepare for a detour due to a barbecue craving, and also, you might want to check if you have a portable charger, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and also, you should probably have a hat.'”

Kansas City Slang: Talking Like a True Local

Ever wondered what a “soda” is called in Kansas City? You might hear “pop”! That’s just a taste of our local flavor. From playful jabs about the Chiefs to quirky sayings, understanding Kansas City slang is like getting a secret code to our humor. Come join the fun and talk..

• “My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find a parking spot near the Nelson-Atkins on a First Friday, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a Boulevard beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again, and then I realize I forgot my phone charger, and also, I should have brought a backup bike.”
• “Kansas City is so flat, you could watch your Chiefs’ hopes of winning the Super Bowl slowly fade away for three days.”
• “A few minutes away” in Kansas City can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on I-35, if the barbecue place you are going to is open, and if the Chiefs are playing, and if you have a really good data plan for when you are trying to find parking.
• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City can either be a genuine sentiment or a subtle way of saying you’re a little bit confused, depending on the drawl, and the side eye, and if you are wearing a Royals hat, and also, if you are trying to find parking near the Plaza on a Saturday night.
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to navigate the Crossroads on a First Friday, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to find a place to get a beer, and then trying to find my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my reusable water bottle, and then I realize I forgot my portable charger.
• “My therapist told me to embrace my inner Kansas Citian, so I started wearing a Chiefs jersey to therapy, talking about the latest barbecue openings, and then asked if they wanted to go to a game, and then we did, but first, we had to find parking, and then we had to try a new brewery, and then we had to try a new barbecue joint, and then we realized we forgot our hats, and also, we forgot our reusable water bottles, and also, we forgot our portable chargers, and also, we forgot our map of all the best barbecue places.”
• “My favorite Kansas City pastime? Complaining about the humidity while simultaneously ordering a plate of barbecue, and then trying to find parking.”
• “My favorite Kansas City sport? Trying to parallel park on the Plaza on a Saturday night.”
• “Fixin’ to” isn’t just a phrase in Kansas City, it’s a verb tense, a way of life, and a good excuse to take a nap and order more barbecue.
• “I’m not saying I’m a bad navigator, but I’m pretty sure my GPS in Kansas City now just suggests taking a detour to a barbecue joint, and then finding a new brewery, and then realizing I’m lost, and also, I should probably have a backup plan for my bike.”
• “Kansas City weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for barbecue, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan, and a portable charger for when you are trying to find parking at the farmers market, and also, you should probably have a hat, and a good sense of humor about the traffic, and also, you should probably have a map of all the local barbecue places.”
• “My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to navigate the Westport area on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to find a place to get a beer, and then trying to find my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my reusable water bottle, and then I realize I forgot my phone charger, and then I realize I forgot my hat.”
• “A Kansas City resident’s idea of a ‘light snack’ is a plate of ribs, a side of burnt ends, and a large sweet tea, and then they try to figure out where they parked their car, and then they realize they forgot their portable charger, and then they start all over again tomorrow, and then they try to get a new hat, and then they try to figure out how to get back home, and then they realize they forgot their reusable water bottle, and then they have to start all over again tomorrow, but it will be worth it.”
• “If you’re ever lost in Kansas City, just follow the smell of barbecue, you’ll find your way home, or at least a really good meal, and then you have to figure out where you parked your car, and then you realize you forgot your portable charger, and then you have to start all over again tomorrow.”
• “Kansas City: Where the question isn’t “What’s for dinner?” but “Which barbecue place are we hitting up tonight, and do they have a patio, and do they validate parking, and do they have a portable charger, and do they validate parking for bikes, and do they have a map of all the local breweries, and also, do they have a hat shop?”

Regional Kansas City Humor: What Makes it Funny

Kansas City humor often finds its funny in the everyday. We chuckle at self-deprecating jabs about our unpredictable weather or the eternal debate over the “best” barbecue. It’s a grounded, relatable humor, born from shared experiences and a touch of Midwestern modesty. Our sayings and jokes reflect a city that…

• “Bless your heart” in Kansas City is a very complex phrase; it can be a genuine expression of sympathy or a subtle way of saying, “You’re about to do something really dumb, but I’m still going to watch.”
• Kansas City weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for barbecue, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a really good data plan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and also, a map of all the barbecue joints in the area, and also, a good sense of humor.
• “A few minutes away” in Kansas City can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on I-70, if the barbecue place you are going to is open, and if the Chiefs are playing, and also, if you have a really good data plan.
• My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to navigate the Crossroads on a First Friday, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to find a place to get a beer, and then trying to find my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and then I realize I forgot my hat, and then I have to try to find parking again.
• You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when you can give directions using only the names of barbecue joints, the general direction of the nearest stadium, and the phrase “just past the big fountain, and then you will probably be stuck in traffic, and then you should probably have a portable charger.”
• A Kansas City resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a plate of ribs, a side of burnt ends, and a large sweet tea, and then they try to figure out where they parked their car, and then they realize they forgot their phone charger, and then they start all over again tomorrow, but it was going to be worth it.
• “I’m not saying I’m bad at navigating Kansas City, but I’m pretty sure my GPS now just suggests taking a detour to a barbecue joint.”
• “If you’re ever lost in Kansas City, just follow the smell of barbecue; you’ll find your way home, or at least a really good meal, and then you have to try to find your car again.”
• “My car’s GPS in Kansas City now just says, ‘Prepare for a detour due to a barbecue craving, and also, you might want to check if you have a portable charger, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and also, you should probably have a hat, and also, you should probably have a good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home’.”
• “Fixin’ to” in Kansas City isn’t just a phrase; it’s a verb tense, and also, a way of life, and also, a good excuse to take a nap and order more barbecue.
• My Kansas City dating profile says: “Seeking someone who loves barbecue, and doesn’t mind a little bit of humidity, and can navigate the one way streets downtown, and also has a really good data plan for when we are trying to find parking, and also, they should probably have a portable charger, and a hat, and a backup plan for their bike.”
• “My favorite Kansas City workout? Trying to find parking near the Plaza on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to sit, and then trying to find a place to get a craft beer, and then trying to find my way back to my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow.”
• The most dangerous sport in Kansas City? Trying to navigate the Westport area on a Saturday night, and then trying to find a place to lock your bike, and then trying to find a place to get a beer, and then trying to find your car.
• Two Kansas Citians were arguing about which street was longer. One said, “I-35 goes on forever!” The other replied, “Yeah, but have you tried finding a parking spot on NW 23rd?”
• “You know you’re a true Kansas Citian when the question isn’t ‘What’s for dinner?’ but ‘Which barbecue place are we hitting up tonight, and do they have a patio, and do they validate parking, and do they have a portable charger?'”