150 Best Mesa Sayings and Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Ever heard a joke so dry it could dehydrate a cactus? Then you’ve probably stumbled upon the unique world of Mesa sayings and jokes. This isn’t your average humor; it’s seasoned with desert sun, quirky local lore, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation.

Best Mesa Sayings and Jokes That Will Crack You Up
Best Mesa Sayings and Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Get ready to chuckle at the peculiar wit that defines Mesa, Arizona. From playful jabs at the heat to lighthearted observations about desert life, these sayings and jokes capture the essence of this vibrant community. We’re diving into the best of Mesa humor, so prepare for some laughs.

Best Mesa Sayings and Jokes That Will Crack You Up

  • I tried to explain the concept of a mesa to my friend, but he just called it a ‘giant, flat-topped mistake’.
  • Why did the mesa get a therapist? It had too many flat feelings.
  • My grandma says a mesa is just a really big, lazy hill that couldn’t be bothered to grow a point.
  • The mesa declared itself independent, now it’s a “landmass of its own accord”.
  • I saw a group of mesas in a circle, turns out they were having a flatulence convention.
  • What do you call a mesa that’s good at music? A flat-top performer.
  • Two mesas were arguing, it was a very level-headed debate.
  • A tourist asked, “Is it safe to climb that mesa?” The guide replied, “It’s pretty stable, but don’t get on its flat side.”
  • I told my dog we were going to visit a mesa, he thought it was a new kind of dog treat.
  • My attempt to build a model mesa was a complete failure; it was very underwhelming, flatly.
  • Why did the mesa refuse to play hide and seek? Because it was always in plain sight.
  • Did you hear about the mesa that became a comedian? All his jokes were on a very flat level.
  • A mesa and a mountain went on a date, it was an uphill battle for the mountain.
  • The mesa sighed and said, “Sometimes I just feel so… plateaued in life.”
  • My cat tried to climb the mesa, she said it was a “purr-fectly level nap spot.”

Mesa Sayings: Wisdom Carved in Stone

“Mesa Sayings: Wisdom Carved in Stone” isn’t just a collection of jokes; it’s the heart of our culture. These sayings, passed down through generations, are more than funny quips. They’re lessons etched in time, offering a unique glimpse into our values and beliefs. They’re the serious side of our humor,…

Mesa Sayings: Wisdom Carved in Stone
Mesa Sayings: Wisdom Carved in Stone
  • “Mesa time” is a suggestion, not a schedule, and it’s usually about 15 minutes behind schedule, or maybe an hour, depending on the heat.
  • They say what happens on the mesa stays on the mesa, but my hiking boots are telling a different story.
  • My attempt at a balanced diet was thwarted by a sudden craving for a Sonoran hot dog and a prickly pear margarita, and then I realized I needed a portable fan and a hat.
  • You know you’re a true Mesa local when you can identify the exact type of cactus just by its silhouette against the sunset, and you have a preferred sunscreen brand, and a hat that can withstand the heat, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • The mesa is so flat, you could watch your phone battery die for three days.
  • I tried to find a bad view on the mesa, but all I got was a great vista and a craving for a Sonoran hot dog.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a balanced diet is a Sonoran hot dog in one hand, a prickly pear margarita in the other, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby, and also, a really good data plan.
  • They say the mesa is where the sun goes to retire, and you should probably have a hat.
  • Mesa weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for a Sonoran hot dog, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find parking.
  • My car’s GPS in Mesa now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour, a sudden urge for a Sonoran hot dog, and a strong possibility of needing sunscreen and a hat.”
  • Mesa dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good sunset, doesn’t mind a little heat, and can handle the spice, and also has a car with a good AC, and a really good data plan for when we are trying to find a new place to get a taco, and also, you should probably have a hat.
  • I tried to explain the concept of a ‘hill’ to someone on the mesa, they just stared at me blankly and asked if it was a new type of cactus.
  • A Mesa resident’s biggest fear? A day without sunshine and a taco truck running out of their favorite salsa.
  • You know you’re a true Mesa local when you can identify the exact type of desert wildflower just by its color and the way it wilts in the heat.
  • The mesa is so big, you can get lost looking for your car in the parking lot, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan, and a hat.

Mesa Jokes: Humor From the High Desert

Looking for laughs as dry as the desert? “Mesa Jokes: Humor From the High Desert,” part of our “Mesa Sayings and Jokes” collection, offers a unique blend of wit and local flavor. Explore jokes born from wide open spaces and quirky desert life. It’s a fun way to connect with…

Mesa Jokes: Humor From the High Desert
Mesa Jokes: Humor From the High Desert
  • You know you’re a Mesa local when you can identify the exact type of desert bird just by the sound of its call, and you have a preferred sunscreen brand, and a hat that can withstand the heat, and a backup plan for your bike.
  • Mesa: Where the only thing hotter than the asphalt is the local salsa, and you should probably have a glass of milk nearby, and a portable fan.
  • I tried to have a picnic in Mesa, but the lizards formed a line and demanded a share of my chips and a detailed plan for future picnics.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “quick trip” is driving 45 minutes to get a Sonoran hot dog from their favorite spot, then 45 minutes back, and then trying to find parking.
  • My Mesa weather app is just a picture of the sun wearing a tiny sombrero.
  • Mesa drivers use their turn signals like they’re optional features on a golf cart, and speed limits like a suggestion from a tourist, and also, they all know where to find the best taco trucks.
  • My therapist told me to embrace my inner Mesa resident, so now I just sit in the sun and contemplate the vastness of the desert, and also, I have a really good data plan for when I am trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • You know you’re a true Mesa local when you can identify the exact type of cactus just by its silhouette against the sunset and also, you have a preferred sunscreen brand, and a hat that can withstand the heat, and a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • Mesa dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good sunset, doesn’t mind a little heat, and can handle the spice, and also has a car with a good AC, and a really good data plan for when we are trying to find a new place to get a taco, and a portable charger, and also, a map of all the local farmers markets.
  • I tried to have a moment of peace in a Mesa park, but a group of people started a discussion about the best local coffee roaster, and then it turned into a debate, and then we all went to get coffee, and then we all spent 45 minutes trying to find parking.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my ice cubes are sweating and asking for a rent reduction, and a better view of the mountains, and also, they need a better data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get to the farmers market.
  • Mesa: where “a few minutes away” can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on the 101, and how strong the urge for a Sonoran hot dog is, and if you have a portable fan, and a hat.
  • They say Mesa is where the sun spends its summer vacation, and you should probably have a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a hat, and a lot of sunscreen, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.
  • Mesa: Where the speed limit is just a suggestion and the potholes are a challenge, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a good data plan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and a really good map of all the local taco trucks.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a Sonoran hot dog, a prickly pear margarita, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby, and also, they have a really good data plan for when they are trying to find a new place to get a taco.

Mesa Proverbs: Ancient Words, Modern Meaning

Ever chuckle at a Mesa saying? “Mesa Proverbs: Ancient Words, Modern Meaning” dives deeper, exploring the wisdom behind those familiar phrases. It’s not just about jokes; it’s about uncovering the timeless lessons embedded in our everyday language. From witty quips to profound truths, this book connects our past to our…

Mesa Proverbs: Ancient Words, Modern Meaning
Mesa Proverbs: Ancient Words, Modern Meaning
  • Mesa: where the sunsets are free, but the parking is not, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “quick trip” is driving 45 minutes to get a Sonoran hot dog, and then driving 45 minutes back, and then trying to find parking that isn’t in direct sunlight.
  • You know you’re a Mesa local when you can identify the exact type of cactus just by its silhouette against the sunset and also, you have a preferred sunscreen brand, and a hat that can withstand the heat, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • Mesa weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for a prickly pear margarita, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home after the farmers market, and also, you should probably have a map of all the taco trucks in the area.
  • In Mesa, “a little spice” is a challenge, not a flavor, and you should probably have a glass of milk nearby, and a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog.
  • Mesa is so flat, you could watch your car run out of gas for three days, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a good data plan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my ice cubes are sweating and asking for a rent reduction, and a better view of the mountains, and also, they need a portable charger, and a good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get to the farmers market.
  • A Mesa resident’s biggest fear? A day without sunshine, and a taco truck running out of their favorite salsa, and a roadrunner taunting them with its speed, and also, having to find a parking spot on Main street on a Saturday.
  • Mesa: where the speed limit is just a suggestion and the potholes are a challenge, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a good data plan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike.
  • Mesa drivers use their turn signals like they’re optional features on a golf cart, and speed limits like a personal suggestion from a tourist, and also, they all know where to find the best taco trucks, and they all have a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get back home.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “quick trip” is driving 45 minutes to get a Sonoran hot dog from their favorite spot, then 45 minutes back, and then trying to find parking that isn’t in direct sunlight.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a Sonoran hot dog, a prickly pear margarita, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby, and also, they have a really good data plan for when they are trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • Mesa: where “a few minutes away” can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on the 101, and how strong the urge for a Sonoran hot dog is, and if you have a portable fan, and a hat.
  • My Mesa GPS now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour, a strong desire for a Sonoran hot dog, and a need for more sunscreen.”
  • You know you’re a Mesa local when you can accurately predict the wind speed by how much your hair is trying to escape.

Mesa-Related Puns: Playful Word Twists

Mesa sayings and jokes often involve playful word twists, particularly with mesa-related puns. These aren’t just dry geographical jokes; they’re clever plays on words that use “mesa” to create humorous situations. Think of it as adding a bit of elevation to your everyday humor, making you smile and maybe even…

Mesa-Related Puns: Playful Word Twists
Mesa-Related Puns: Playful Word Twists
  • Mesa: Where the sunsets are free, but the water bill isn’t, and you should probably have a portable fan.
  • My Mesa dating profile picture is just me holding a Sonoran hot dog, because honestly, what else is there?
  • Mesa drivers use their turn signals like they’re optional features on a golf cart, and speed limits like a personal suggestion from a tourist, and also, they all know where to find the best taco trucks.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my ice cubes are sweating and asking for a rent reduction, and a better view of the mountains, and a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when they are trying to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “quick trip” is driving 45 minutes to get a Sonoran hot dog from their favorite spot, then 45 minutes back, and then trying to find parking that isn’t in direct sunlight.
  • Mesa weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for a prickly pear margarita, and a strong chance of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find parking at the farmers market.
  • “Mesa time” is a suggestion, not a schedule, and it’s usually about 15 minutes behind schedule, or maybe an hour, depending on the heat, and if the taco truck you are going to is open.
  • In Mesa, “a little spice” is a challenge, not a flavor, and you should probably have a glass of milk nearby, a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog.
  • Mesa: where “a few minutes away” can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on the 101, and how strong the urge for a Sonoran hot dog is, and if you have a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike.
  • My therapist told me to embrace my inner Mesa resident, so now I just sit in the sun and contemplate the vastness of the desert, and also, I have a really good data plan for when I am trying to find a new place to get a taco, and also, I have a portable fan, and a hat.
  • My Mesa GPS now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour due to a dust storm, and a strong desire for a Sonoran hot dog, and also, you should probably have a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike.”
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a Sonoran hot dog, a prickly pear margarita, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby, and also, they have a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • Mesa: Where the speed limit is just a suggestion and the potholes are a challenge, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a good data plan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and a map of all the local taco trucks.
  • Mesa is so flat, you could watch your phone battery die for three days, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back to your car, and also, you should probably have a hat, and a backup plan for your bike.
  • A Mesa rattlesnake’s idea of a good time is a long nap in the sun, and then a slow, dramatic reveal, and then a very long nap.

Regional Mesa Sayings: Local Expressions Unveiled

Ever wonder what makes Mesa locals chuckle? “Regional Mesa Sayings: Local Expressions Unveiled” dives deep into the quirky phrases and inside jokes unique to our area. It’s a fun exploration of how language shapes community, revealing the humor and heart behind Mesa’s everyday conversations. Get ready to laugh and learn!

Regional Mesa Sayings: Local Expressions Unveiled
Regional Mesa Sayings: Local Expressions Unveiled
  • You know you’re a Mesa local when your car’s interior temperature is higher than the boiling point of water, and that’s normal.
  • Mesa: where the only thing flatter than the landscape is my attempt at parallel parking.
  • “A few minutes away” in Mesa is a unit of time that is directly proportional to your craving for a Sonoran hot dog.
  • My Mesa GPS now just says, “Prepare for a detour due to a roadrunner convention, and a strong desire for a prickly pear margarita.”
  • I tried to have a picnic in Mesa, but the sun said, “Hold my beer, and your sandwiches, and your blanket, and your hat, and your dignity.”
  • Mesa drivers treat lane lines as suggestions, and speed limits like a personal challenge from a tourist who is just trying to find a taco truck, and also, you should probably have a portable fan.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my succulents are sweating and asking for a rent reduction, and also, they want a better view of the mountains.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a balanced diet is a Sonoran hot dog in one hand, a prickly pear margarita in the other, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a taco, and also, a really good map of all the local taco trucks.
  • Mesa weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for a prickly pear margarita, and the distinct possibility of needing both a t-shirt and a winter coat, and also, you should probably have a portable fan, a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and also, a really good data plan for when you get lost trying to find parking at the farmers market.
  • Mesa: Where “a little spice” is a challenge, not a flavor, and you should probably have a glass of milk nearby, and a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog.
  • “My Mesa dating life is a lot like the traffic on the 101: slow-moving, slightly frustrating, but with the occasional beautiful view of the sunset if you’re lucky, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.”
  • “My therapist told me to embrace my inner Mesa resident, so now I just sit in the sun and contemplate the vastness of the desert, and also, I have a really good data plan for when I am trying to find a new place to get a taco, and also, I have a portable fan, and a hat.”
  • In Mesa, “a little spice” is a challenge, not a flavor, and you should probably have a glass of milk nearby, and a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike.
  • “My favorite Mesa workout? Trying to find a parking spot near the farmers market on a Saturday morning, and then trying to find a place to lock my bike, and then trying to figure out where I parked my car, and then I have to start all over again tomorrow, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.”
  • Mesa: where “a few minutes away” can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on the traffic on the 101, and how strong the urge for a Sonoran hot dog is, and if you have a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.

Funny Mesa Quotes: A Laughable Look at the Landscape

Looking for a good chuckle? “Funny Mesa Quotes” dives into the quirky side of mesa life, offering a lighthearted take on its unique landscapes. It’s a collection of witty observations and jokes, perfect for anyone who appreciates a bit of desert humor within the wider world of Mesa sayings and…

Funny Mesa Quotes: A Laughable Look at the Landscape
Funny Mesa Quotes: A Laughable Look at the Landscape
  • “Mesa: Where the only thing flatter than the landscape is my attempt at parallel parking in a strip mall.”
  • “You know you’re a Mesa local when you can tell the temperature by how many minutes you have to wait for your car’s AC to kick in.”
  • My therapist told me to embrace my inner Mesa resident, so now I just sit in the sun and contemplate the vastness of the desert, and then I try to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog.
  • Mesa: Where a “quick trip” across town can take an hour, but at least you’ll see some great desert scenery along the way, and you might even find a new taco truck.
  • “In Mesa, ‘a little bit of spice’ is a challenge, not a flavor, and you should probably have a glass of milk nearby, and a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog, and also, you should probably have a map of all the local taco trucks.”
  • “My Mesa GPS now just says, ‘Prepare for a scenic detour, a strong desire for a Sonoran hot dog, and a need for more sunscreen, and a portable fan, and a really good data plan’.”
  • “The only thing more consistent than the sunshine in Mesa is the number of times I have to reapply sunscreen.”
  • “Mesa is so flat, you could watch your phone battery die for three days, and also, you should probably have a portable charger, and a good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back to your car, and also, you should probably have a hat.”
  • “Mesa dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good sunset, doesn’t mind a little heat, and can handle the spice, and also has a car with a good AC, and a really good data plan for when we are trying to find a new place to get a taco, and also, a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for their bike.”
  • “I tried to have a picnic in Mesa, but the sun said, ‘Hold my heat, and your sandwiches, and your blanket, and your hat, and your dignity, and your water, and also, you should probably have a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to find a new place to get a taco.'”
  • “Mesa is so flat, you could watch your dog run away for three days, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a portable charger.”
  • A Mesa rattlesnake’s idea of a good time is a long nap in the sun, and then a slow, dramatic reveal, and then a very long nap.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my ice cubes are sweating and asking for a rent reduction, and a better view of the mountains, and also, they need a portable charger, and a good data plan for when they are trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “quick trip” is driving 45 minutes to get a Sonoran hot dog from their favorite spot, then 45 minutes back, and then trying to find parking that isn’t in direct sunlight, and also, you should probably have a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.
  • “Mesa drivers use their turn signals like they’re optional features on a golf cart, and speed limits like a personal suggestion from a tourist, and also, they all know where to find the best taco trucks, and they all have a portable fan.”

Mesa-Themed Riddles: Test Your Knowledge

Ever wondered if you truly know Mesa? “Mesa-Themed Riddles: Test Your Knowledge” isn’t just another quiz; it’s a fun dive into our city’s quirks. Paired with “Mesa Sayings and Jokes,” it’s a playful way to explore local lore. See if you can crack the riddles and prove you’re a true…

Mesa-Themed Riddles: Test Your Knowledge
Mesa-Themed Riddles: Test Your Knowledge
  • You know you’re a Mesa local when you can tell the temperature by how quickly your car’s interior turns into a convection oven.
  • Mesa: Where the speed limit is just a suggestion and the roadrunners are the only ones who actually know the rules.
  • My Mesa dating profile picture is just me holding a Sonoran hot dog, because honestly, what else do you need to know?
  • I tried to have a picnic in Mesa, but the sun said, “Hold my beer, and your sandwiches, and your blanket, and your hat, and your dignity, and your water, and also, you should probably have a really good data plan.”
  • My Mesa car alarm is just a recording of a mariachi band and someone yelling “¡Ay, caramba!” and then asking if anyone has a portable fan.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of “dressing up” is wearing a clean t-shirt that doesn’t have a saguaro stain on it.
  • Mesa: Where the best way to stay cool is to just accept that you’re going to be a little bit sweaty all the time, and that you should probably have a portable charger, and a really good data plan.
  • Mesa drivers use their turn signals like they’re optional features on a golf cart, and speed limits like they’re a suggestion written on a prickly pear cactus.
  • Mesa is so flat, you could watch your phone battery die for three days.
  • “A few minutes away” in Mesa can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on how strong the urge for a Sonoran hot dog is, and if you have a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for your bike.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my ice cubes are sweating and asking for a rent reduction, and a better view of the mountains, and also, they need a portable charger, and a good data plan for when they are trying to find a new place to get a taco.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a Sonoran hot dog, a prickly pear margarita, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby, and also, a really good data plan.
  • My Mesa GPS now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour due to a roadrunner convention, and a strong desire for a prickly pear margarita, and also, you should probably have a hat, and a portable fan, and a backup plan for your bike.”
  • Mesa dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good sunset, doesn’t mind a little heat, and can handle the spice, and also has a car with a good AC, and a really good data plan for when we are trying to find a new place to get a taco, and a portable fan, and a hat, and a backup plan for their bike.
  • They say what happens on the mesa stays on the mesa, unless the wind decides to share it with the next city over, and also, you should probably have a portable charger.

Mesa Culture and Sayings: Reflecting a Unique Heritage

Mesa culture, rich with history, finds expression in its unique sayings and jokes. These aren’t just funny lines; they’re windows into a shared heritage, reflecting values, struggles, and the everyday life of the community. Humor here carries deeper meaning, offering glimpses of wisdom and a resilient spirit that has shaped…

Mesa Culture and Sayings: Reflecting a Unique Heritage
Mesa Culture and Sayings: Reflecting a Unique Heritage
  • You know you’re a Mesa local when you can tell the difference between a javelina and a pig by the way it steals your garbage.
  • Mesa dating profile: Seeking someone who doesn’t mind a little dust, a lot of sun, and can handle my intense love for Sonoran hot dogs, and also, they have to have a really good data plan.
  • Mesa: where “a few minutes away” can mean anything from five minutes to an hour, depending on how strong the urge for a prickly pear margarita is.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my cacti are asking for a rent reduction, and a better view of the mountains.
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a “light snack” is a Sonoran hot dog with all the fixings, a prickly pear margarita, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby.
  • Mesa weather forecast: Expect sunshine, a sudden craving for a taco, and the distinct possibility of needing both shorts and a winter coat.
  • Mesa drivers use their turn signals like they’re optional features on a golf cart and speed limits like a suggestion from a tourist, and also, they all have a portable fan.
  • My car’s GPS in Mesa now just says, “Prepare for a scenic detour due to a roadrunner convention, and a strong desire for a prickly pear margarita.”
  • Mesa is so flat, you could watch your phone battery die for three days.
  • The most common question in Mesa? “Is it hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk yet, and where is the closest taco truck?”
  • My Mesa car alarm is just a recording of a mariachi band and someone yelling, “¡Ay, caramba! and also, asking if anyone has a portable fan and a really good data plan.”
  • A Mesa resident’s idea of a balanced diet is a Sonoran hot dog in one hand, a prickly pear margarita in the other, and a portable fan strategically placed nearby.
  • In Mesa, “a little spice” is a challenge, not a flavor, and you should probably have a glass of milk nearby and a portable fan, and a really good data plan for when you’re trying to find a new place to get a Sonoran hot dog.
  • My Mesa apartment is so hot, even my ice cubes are sweating and asking for a rent reduction, and a better view of the mountains, and also, they need a portable charger, and a good data plan for when they are trying to figure out how to get to the farmers market.
  • Mesa is so flat, you could watch your dog run away for three days, and also, you should probably have a backup plan for your bike, and a portable charger, and a hat, and a really good data plan for when you are trying to figure out how to get back home.

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