150 Best Vermont Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear Laugh Your Way Through the Green Mountains

Ever wondered what makes a Vermonter chuckle? It’s more than just maple syrup and covered bridges; it’s a unique blend of dry wit and down-to-earth humor. Get ready to dive into the heart of the Green Mountain State with a collection of classic Vermont sayings and jokes.

From quirky expressions to genuinely funny anecdotes, we’re uncovering the local lingo and comedic gems that define the Vermont spirit. This post is your guide to understanding the humor, and perhaps even adopting a few of these iconic Vermont sayings yourself.

Best Vermont Sayings and Jokes You Gotta Hear Laugh Your Way Through the Green Mountains

• If a Vermonter tells you they’ll be there in a jiffy, pack a lunch.
• Why did the maple syrup cross the road? To get to the other side… of the pancake stack.
• A Vermonter’s idea of fast food is a freshly picked apple.
• You know you’re in Vermont when the speed limit is suggested, not enforced, by the cows.
• Two Vermonters were arguing about who had the coldest winter. After a while, they agreed they were both just about frozen solid.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth in Vermont? A gummy bear.
• A flatlander asked a Vermonter if they had seen any moose lately. The Vermonter replied, “Well, I ain’t seen any that weren’t.”
• My friend said I’d never find a good joke about Vermont. I said, “Hold my maple creemee.”
• A tourist was lost and asked a Vermonter for directions. The Vermonter said, “Go up the road a piece, past where the old barn used to be, and when you see the place where the snow never melts, you’ve gone too far.”
• Heard a Vermonter say, “I’m not lazy, I’m just on Vermont time.”
• Why did the Vermont farmer win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…of maple trees.
• A Vermonter’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good fiddle and a story about hard work.
• I tried to explain to my city cousin what “mud season” was. He still thinks I was talking about a new kind of spa treatment.
• A Vermonter’s ideal vacation is a day off from doing nothing, to do nothing even harder.
• My boss said I need to start delegating. So, I made the cows milk themselves. Vermont ingenuity at its finest.

Vermont Sayings: A Deep Dive into Local Lingo

Ever wondered what “wicked good” really means? Or why Vermonters say “creemee” instead of soft serve? “Vermont Sayings: A Deep Dive into Local Lingo” explores the unique expressions that paint our Green Mountain State. It’s more than just jokes; it’s a peek into the heart and humor of Vermont life.

• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a weather app, they just look at the cows to see if they’re huddled together, and then grab a flannel, a map, and some maple candies, just in case.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Vermont back road, winding, scenic, and a little bit hard to follow, and you’ll probably see some cows.
• They say everything is historic in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it.
• A Vermonter’s version of a “speed chase” is a tractor trying to catch up to a runaway maple sap bucket, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win.
• My therapist told me to find my happy place, so I went to a sugar shack… turns out, it was just a really big shed with a lot of boiling maple sap, and I was happy, and then I wanted a stack of pancakes.
• You know you’re in Vermont when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of tourists trying to take pictures of a covered bridge, and everyone is just patiently waiting, because that’s just how it is.
• That’s about as likely as a moose learning to tap dance, and then getting a gig in a maple syrup commercial, and then running for Governor.
• My Vermont GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, and probably some maple syrup. Good luck finding your way, and watch out for the cows.”
• “If it ain’t got maple syrup, it ain’t Vermontified.”
• A Vermonter’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store is a two-hour tour of every farm stand in the county, searching for the perfect apple cider donut.
• “Our version of ‘traffic’ is a tractor and a few cows crossing the road, and everyone just patiently waits, and maybe has a chat about the weather, and maybe a maple creemee.”
• They say everything is laid-back in Vermont, but try cutting in line at a farmers market, it’s like a scene out of a nature documentary, but with more side-eye, and a lot of flannel, and a long conversation about the different types of maple syrup.
• A Vermonter walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you… and they’re probably talking about the best places to get maple syrup and apple cider donuts.”
• My Vermont weather app just suggests I pack for all four seasons, and maybe grab a maple creemee, just in case.
• “If you’re not wearing at least three layers in Vermont, you’re probably a tourist, and you should probably grab a flannel shirt, and maybe a hat, and maybe a pair of boots, just in case.”

Funny Vermont Jokes: Laughing at the Green Mountain State

Looking for a chuckle? “Funny Vermont Jokes” dives deep into the quirky humor of the Green Mountain State. It’s a collection of jokes and witty sayings that perfectly capture Vermont’s unique character, from maple syrup mishaps to moose encounters. Prepare for some good-natured laughs, a true taste of Vermont’s comedic…

• That fella’s got a mind like a maple sugaring operation, a little bit sticky and a whole lot of work involved.
• You know you’re in Vermont when the biggest traffic jam is caused by a group of cows deciding to cross the road at their own pace.
• My Vermont weather app just suggested I invest in a good pair of snowshoes, a pair of hiking boots, and a light jacket, all for the same day, and then suggested I get a maple creemee, because you never know.
• They say a watched pot never boils, but a watched pot of maple sap will make you hungrier than a bear in spring, and then you’ll want some pancakes.
• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a map, they just follow the scent of maple syrup, the sound of a chainsaw, and maybe the occasional cow bell, and they always end up somewhere interesting, or at least with a good view.
• They say everything is historic in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little bit too sweet, but worth it.
• If you’re lost in Vermont, just follow the sound of a fiddle and the smell of wood smoke, you’ll eventually find your way, or at least a really good time, and probably a maple creemee.
• A Vermonter’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on a clean flannel shirt and a hat that doesn’t have sap on it, and maybe a pair of boots that aren’t full of mud.
• That’s about as likely as a moose learning to knit a sweater, and then actually wearing it, and then getting a job at a yarn store.
• They say Vermont winters build character; I’m pretty sure mine is now a grumpy recluse who prefers a good book and a roaring fire to human interaction.
• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of cars trying to find the best view of the fall foliage, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly.
• My Vermont GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, and probably some maple syrup. Good luck finding your way, and watch out for the cows.”
• They say everything is rugged in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a mountain of deliciousness.
• A Vermonter’s version of a “quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different farm stands, just to make sure they get the best maple syrup, and then a stop for apple cider donuts, and then they’re late, but it’s okay, because they got maple syrup, and a donut, and a good story to tell.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth in Vermont? A gummy bear, and he’s probably looking for a maple candy.

Classic Vermont Sayings: Echoes of Tradition

“Classic Vermont Sayings: Echoes of Tradition” dives deep into the heart of Vermont wit. It’s more than just jokes; it’s a glimpse into how Vermonters speak, capturing their practical wisdom and dry humor. These sayings, passed down through generations, offer a charming window into the state’s unique culture, adding a…

• That’s about as likely as a cow learning to yodel, and then actually getting a record deal.
• My Vermont GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, a maple syrup stand, and probably some black ice. Good luck.”
• A Vermonter’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different farm stands, just to make sure they get the best apple cider donuts.
• They say everything is historic in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little bit too sweet, but worth it.
• If you’re lost in Vermont, just follow the scent of maple syrup and the sound of a chainsaw, you’ll either find your way or a really good pancake breakfast.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Vermont back road, full of twists, turns, and a few scenic overlooks, and you’re never quite sure where you’re going, but you’ll probably see some cows.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth in Vermont? A gummy bear, and he’s probably looking for maple candies.
• Vermont weather is like a surprise party; you never know what you’re going to get, but it usually involves rain or snow, and maybe some sun, and you should probably just wear a flannel, and a hat, and some boots, just in case.
• My Vermont friend says he doesn’t need a map, he just follows the scent of maple syrup and the sound of a chainsaw, and maybe the occasional cow bell, and he always ends up somewhere interesting, or at least with a good view.
• They say Vermont winters build character; I’m pretty sure mine is now a grumpy recluse who prefers a good book and a roaring fire to human interaction, and maybe a maple creemee.
• A Vermonter’s version of a “speed chase” is a tractor trying to catch up to a runaway maple sap bucket, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win.
• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a weather app, they just look at the cows to see if they’re huddled together, and then grab a flannel, a map, and some maple candies, just in case.
• My Vermont weather app just suggested I pack for all four seasons, and maybe grab a maple creemee, just in case, and learn how to build a log cabin.
• That’s about as likely as a moose learning to knit a sweater, and then actually wearing it, and then getting a job at a yarn store, and then complaining about the tourists.
• My Vermont GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, and probably some maple syrup. Have fun, and watch out for the cows, and maybe grab a whoopie pie.”

Vermont Humor: The Subtle Art of Down-to-Earth Jokes

Vermont humor isn’t about loud laughs; it’s a quiet chuckle, a twinkle in the eye. It’s about the everyday, the quirks of rural life, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation. Vermont sayings and jokes often reflect this subtle art, where dry wit and understated observations make you smile, not roar….

• That fella’s got a mind like a backwoods trail, full of twists and turns, and a few scenic views, and maybe a moose sighting.
• Vermont dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good hike, a strong cup of coffee, and the sound of a chainsaw on a crisp morning, and maybe a shared love of maple creemees.
• A Vermonter’s idea of a “speed chase” is a snowmobile trying to catch up to a runaway maple sap bucket, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win.
• They say a watched pot never boils, but a watched pot of maple sap will make you hungrier than a bear in spring and then you’ll want a stack of pancakes.
• My Vermont GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, and probably some maple syrup, and maybe a cow. Good luck.”
• Vermont weather is like a surprise party you didn’t ask for, and you didn’t bring a gift for, and you’re not sure if you want to be there, but you’ll probably end up eating some maple candy anyway.
• That’s about as likely as a moose learning to knit a sweater, and then actually wearing it, and then getting a job at a yarn store, and then complaining about the tourists.
• They say everything is rugged in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a mountain of deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it.
• My therapist told me to embrace my inner Vermonter, so now I’m perpetually calm, always thinking about maple syrup, and convinced that everyone else is driving too fast, and that the best things in life are found at a farmers market.
• You know you’re in Vermont when the local coffee shop has a “Maple Magic Latte” and a “Green Mountain Grind” on the menu, and everyone orders both, and then they all head out for a hike.
• A Vermonter’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on a clean flannel shirt and a hat that doesn’t have sap on it, and a good pair of boots, and maybe a scarf, just in case.
• A flatlander asked a Vermonter if they had seen any moose lately. The Vermonter replied, “Well, I ain’t seen any that weren’t.”
• If you’re lost in Vermont, just follow the scent of maple syrup and the sound of a chainsaw, you’ll eventually find your way, or at least a really good pancake breakfast.
• Vermont drivers believe the speed limit is just a suggestion, especially when they’re on their way to a covered bridge, and maybe they’ll stop for a maple creemee.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Vermont back road, full of twists, turns, and a few scenic overlooks, and you’re never quite sure where you’re going, but you’ll probably see some cows.

Unique Vermont Sayings: Expressions You Won’t Hear Anywhere Else

Vermont’s charm extends beyond its landscapes to its quirky language! Dive into “Vermont Sayings and Jokes” and discover unique expressions you won’t hear anywhere else. From “wicked good” to “colder than a well digger’s…” you’ll find phrases that are pure Vermont. It’s a glimpse into the state’s down-to-earth, humorous soul.

• That’s about as likely as a cow tap dancing on a frozen pond…and doing it well.
• My GPS in Vermont just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, a maple syrup farm, and maybe a cow. Good luck.”
• They say a watched pot never boils, but a watched pot of maple sap will make you hungrier than a bear in spring, and then you’ll want a stack of pancakes.
• If you don’t like the weather in Vermont, just wait five minutes, or drive to a different town, or maybe just go inside and drink some hot cider.
• A Vermonter’s idea of a “speed chase” is a snowmobile trying to keep up with a runaway maple sap bucket, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win, and then they all go get some maple creemees.
• You know you’re in Vermont when the local coffee shop has a “Maple Madness Mocha” and a “Green Mountain Grind” on the menu, and everyone orders both, and then heads out for a hike.
• That fella’s got a mind like a Vermont back road, full of twists, turns, and a few scenic overlooks, and you’re never quite sure where you’re going, but you’ll probably see some cows along the way.
• A Vermonter’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on a clean flannel shirt and a hat that doesn’t have sap on it, and maybe a pair of boots that aren’t covered in mud.
• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a weather app, they just look at the cows to see if they are huddled together, and then grab a flannel, and then maybe a hat, and maybe some boots, just in case.
• They say everything is scenic in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a monument to deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it, and then you need a nap.
• My Vermont weather app just suggested I pack for all four seasons, and to not question its wisdom, and maybe grab a maple creemee, just in case, and maybe a whoopie pie, too.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth in Vermont? A gummy bear…and he’s probably looking for some maple candy.
• My Vermont car has a permanent layer of mud, it’s a badge of honor and a testament to the endless back roads, and the fact that I just don’t wash it, and maybe I should get a new set of tires.
• That’s about as likely as a moose learning to knit a sweater, and then actually wearing it, and then getting a job at a yarn store, and then complaining about the tourists.
• A Vermonter’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different farm stands, just to make sure they get the best maple syrup, and then a stop for apple cider donuts, and then they’re late, but it’s okay, because they got maple syrup, and a donut, and a good story to tell.

Vermont Joke Categories: From Farming to Foliage

Vermont humor? It’s a breed apart! Think gentle ribbing about stubborn cows and the annual maple syrup rush. We chuckle at our short growing seasons and the breathtaking, yet predictable, foliage crowds. From farming mishaps to tourist tales, Vermont’s jokes are as colorful and quirky as the state itself.

• That fella’s got a mind like a maple tap line, full of twists, turns, and the occasional blockage, and you’re never quite sure what you’re gonna get.
• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of Subarus with kayaks on top, all headed to the same swimming hole, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly.
• They say a watched pot never boils, but a watched pot of maple sap will make you hungrier than a bear coming out of hibernation, and you should probably just go ahead and grab a stack of pancakes.
• My Vermont GPS just says, “You’re near a covered bridge, a maple syrup stand, and maybe a cow. Good luck figuring out which one is the right one, and try to enjoy the view.”
• That’s about as likely as a moose learning to knit a sweater, and then actually wearing it, and then getting a job at a yarn store, and then complaining about the tourists.
• My idea of a balanced diet is a maple creemee in one hand and an apple cider donut in the other, and maybe a whoopie pie for later, just in case.
• “If you don’t like the weather in Vermont, just wait five minutes… or maybe five hours, or maybe until next week, it’s a gamble.”
• You know you’re a Vermonter when you consider a snowstorm a “light dusting” and still drive the speed limit, and you’re probably headed to the nearest covered bridge for a photo op.
• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a weather app, they just look at the cows to see if they are huddled together, and then grab a flannel, and then maybe a hat, and maybe some boots, just in case.
• That’s about as useful as a snow shovel in July… or a pair of flip-flops in January.
• A Vermont speed chase is a tractor trying to catch a runaway maple sap bucket, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win.
• My Vermont car has a permanent layer of mud, it’s a badge of honor and a testament to the endless back roads, and the fact that I just don’t wash it, and I probably need a new set of tires.
• They say everything is rugged in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a mountain of deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it, and then you need a nap.
• My Vermont weather app just suggested I pack for all four seasons, and to not question its wisdom, and maybe grab a maple creemee, just in case, and maybe a whoopie pie, too.
• A Vermonter’s idea of a “quick trip” to the store involves a detour to three different farm stands, just to make sure they get the best maple syrup, and then a stop for apple cider donuts, and then they’re late, but it’s okay, because they got maple syrup, and a donut, and a good story to tell.

Understanding Vermont Sayings: More Than Just Words

Vermont sayings aren’t just quirky phrases; they’re tiny windows into our culture. When we say “wicked good,” we mean more than just tasty. It’s about a shared experience, a way of life. Delving into these sayings, along with our jokes, offers a deeper understanding of what it truly means to…

• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of Subarus with kayaks on top, all headed to the same swimming hole, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly, and maybe they’ll stop for some maple creemees.
• My Vermont GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, a maple syrup stand, and a cow. Good luck figuring out which one is the right one, and maybe grab a whoopie pie.”
• A Vermont local’s idea of a “quick trip” is a two-hour tour of every farm stand in the county, searching for the perfect apple cider donut, and then a stop at the local hardware store for a new chainsaw blade, and then maybe a trip to the lake, and then stop for some maple creemees.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth in Vermont? A gummy bear, and he’s probably looking for a maple candy.
• A Vermonter’s idea of a speed chase is a tractor trying to catch up to a runaway maple sap bucket, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win, and then they all go get some maple creemees.
• Vermont dating profile: Seeking someone who appreciates a good hike, a strong cup of coffee, and the sound of a chainsaw on a crisp morning, and maybe a shared love of maple creemees.
• They say everything is rugged in Vermont, but have you seen the size of a maple creemee? It’s practically a mountain of deliciousness, and maybe a little too sweet, but worth it.
• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a weather app, they just look at the cows to see if they’re huddled together, and then grab a flannel, and maybe a hat, and maybe some boots, just in case, and maybe a maple creemee.
• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of Subarus with kayaks on top, all headed to the same swimming hole, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly.
• My Vermont weather app just suggested I pack for all four seasons, and to not question its wisdom, and maybe grab a maple creemee, just in case, and maybe a whoopie pie, too.
• A Vermonter walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you… and they’re probably talking about the best places to get maple syrup and apple cider donuts.”
• If you don’t like the weather in Vermont, just wait five minutes, or drive to a different town, or maybe just go inside and drink some hot cider, and maybe have a maple creemee.
• My boss said I need to start delegating. So, I made the cows milk themselves. Vermont ingenuity at its finest.
• They say Vermont winters build character; I’m pretty sure mine is now a grumpy recluse who prefers a good book and a roaring fire to human interaction, and maybe a maple creemee.
• A flatlander asked a Vermonter if they had seen any moose lately. The Vermonter replied, “Well, I ain’t seen any that weren’t.”

Vermont Jokes vs. Sayings: What’s the Difference?

Ever wondered what sets a Vermont joke apart from a Vermont saying? It’s like the difference between a playful jab and a time-worn truth. Jokes are meant to tickle, often with a bit of witty exaggeration. Sayings, on the other hand, are the wisdom of generations, passed down with a…

• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of Subarus with kayaks on top, all headed to the same swimming hole, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly, and then stopping for a maple creemee.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth in Vermont? A gummy bear, and he’s probably looking for maple candies.
• If you don’t like the weather in Vermont, just wait five minutes, or drive to a different town, or maybe just go inside and drink some hot cider, and maybe have a maple creemee.
• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of Subarus with kayaks on top, all headed to the same swimming hole, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly.
• If you’re lost in Vermont, just follow the scent of maple syrup and the sound of a chainsaw, you’ll either find your way or a really good pancake breakfast.
• A Vermont speed chase is a tractor trying to catch a runaway maple sap bucket, and everyone is watching, and maybe placing bets on who will win.
• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a map, they just follow the scent of maple syrup, the sound of a chainsaw, and maybe the occasional cow bell, and they always end up somewhere interesting, or at least with a good view.
• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of Subarus with kayaks on top, all headed to the same swimming hole, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly.
• A Vermonter’s idea of “dressing up” is putting on a clean flannel shirt and a hat that doesn’t have sap on it, and a good pair of boots, and maybe a scarf, just in case.
• A Vermont traffic jam is just a slow-motion parade of Subarus with kayaks on top, all headed to the same swimming hole, and everyone is being polite about it, mostly.
• My Vermont weather app just suggested I pack for all four seasons, and to not question its wisdom, and maybe grab a maple creemee, just in case, and maybe a whoopie pie, too.
• My Vermont GPS just keeps saying, “You’re near a covered bridge, a maple syrup stand, and a cow. Good luck figuring out which one is the right one, and maybe grab a whoopie pie.”
• If you don’t like the weather in Vermont, just wait five minutes, or drive to a different town, or maybe just go inside and drink some hot cider, and maybe have a maple creemee, and maybe a whoopie pie, too.
• My Vermont neighbor says they don’t need a map, they just follow the scent of maple syrup, the sound of a chainsaw, and maybe the occasional cow bell, and they always end up somewhere interesting, or at least with a good view, and maybe a maple creemee.
• My Vermont weather app just suggested I pack for all four seasons, and to not question its wisdom, and maybe grab a maple creemee, just in case.